jennie10 Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 If non of you know my story, then see the links below... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t244128/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t244238/ I haven't written much these past couple of days, and that's because everything appeared to be going OK. I've tried NC but I couldn't go through with it, and before you say - contact has been initiated on both sides. When me and my ex have spoken it's been light hearted and fun... we haven't gone into the nitty gritty of the brake up and if I'm honest, it felt as if nothing had happened! I haven't cried since last Tuesday and although I've been hurting, I've felt like things were getting better. I guess I thought he'd remember all the good times we had together and take me back. When we broke up, I asked could we not update it on FB just yet as I felt it would be impossible for me to even -try -and get through this when there would be questions from everyone who would see the relationship status update. He agreed. And now, after one week and two days, we updated our Facebook. Now I know what you're all thinking, it should be the least of my worries. And I totally agree, but for some reason it has compleatly knocked me for six! I'm crying again and I feel those stupid 'butterflys' in my tummy. I suppose it just feels final and definative. I feel ashamed as I know there are people who will be happy about our brake up. And all I could do was play it cool and tell him we had to do it sooner or later, when all I wanted to do was tell him how much I love him and wanted him back. I don't really know what to expect from telling you all this. I just feel lost and like I've got no one to talk to. Thanks for listening.
leftfield Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 I felt the same feeling when my ex changed her Facebook status. I actually deactivated my Facebook account shortly after that happened, because I just can't handle being on there and seeing her posting pictures, status updates etc. I know you can hide that sort of thing but then I would also have to hide our mutual friends to be sure of completely avoiding her and it just seemed more sensible to get off there completely. I don't miss it to be honest. You might consider taking a break from it for a while? As many have said on here, Facebook is evil post-breakup. Facebook = Headf*ck. You've always got someone to talk to here. And you can take some solace in the fact that we do genuinely know how you feel. I haven't spoken to my ex for almost a week now, and I intend to keep it that way for as long as possible. I can't handle being friends with someone that I'm in love with, but if you feel remaining in contact with your ex works for you then good luck with it, but you have to be prepared to take these knocks if you do. While you remain in contact you will witness him moving on with his life. Do you really want that? Why do you think there are people who will be happy about your break up? Do you mean possible 'interested' parties? You have nothing to feel ashamed about anyway. It didn't work out between you, but that's nothing to feel ashamed about.
Author jennie10 Posted September 5, 2010 Author Posted September 5, 2010 To be honest, I've been avoiding Facebook like the plague because I know I'd just end up looking at his profile 24/7! The main reason I'm trying to be 'cool' and friends is because we live in the same block of flats and it's easier for us to be friends then enamies. Plus there are all the mutual friends we have... We don't need to make thier lives awkward also! My ex is a very beautiful man, whenever we would go out girls would flirt with him and ex's (on both sides) were jelous when we first got together. Also, he's quite posh and comes from a well to do I've always felt that he was to good for me (although I never said it!) and I always thought others felt the same and it was a case of "she won't be able to hang on to him..."
Silvaria Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 Heh...I hate to sound ignorant, but what exactly do you mean by "updating your Facebook" status, and why does it affect you so badly? I don't know anything at all about FB...
Author jennie10 Posted September 5, 2010 Author Posted September 5, 2010 Ha! on Facebook in the biography section you can state if you are single, in a relationsip etc. Not only that but you can state who you are in a relationship with. E.g. 'Blank' is in a relationship with 'blank'. I hope this helps
leftfield Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 To be honest, I've been avoiding Facebook like the plague because I know I'd just end up looking at his profile 24/7! The main reason I'm trying to be 'cool' and friends is because we live in the same block of flats and it's easier for us to be friends then enamies. Plus there are all the mutual friends we have... We don't need to make thier lives awkward also! My ex is a very beautiful man, whenever we would go out girls would flirt with him and ex's (on both sides) were jelous when we first got together. Also, he's quite posh and comes from a well to do I've always felt that he was to good for me (although I never said it!) and I always thought others felt the same and it was a case of "she won't be able to hang on to him..." You put yourself down quite a lot. Even if your ex is the greatest thing since sliced bread, you should cut yourself some slack! Maybe the attitude that you thought he was too good for you even contributed to the breakup. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks, but you need to work on your self-esteem. It is hard if you live in the same building, but it's not as clear cut as being 'friends' or 'enemies'. Your friends will understand that this is a difficult time for you, and if they're proper friends, they will help you through this by not talking about him, bringing him up, and not mentioning what's going on in his life. You really don't need to hear it. It won't be awkward, it's not that difficult to just not mention someone. You probably can't avoid him entirely due to the proximity, but you will do yourself a lot of favours by seeing him as little as possible. And stay off Facebook! Good luck to you.
YellowShark Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 OMFG if I had a dime for everytime I saw the words Facebook and breakup in the same sentence at Loveshack. 1) Mankind functioned pretty well for CENTURIES before Facebook was invented 6 years ago. Ok? 2) Please don't define your self-worth based upon a social-networking website, it's embarrassing and ridiculous. You are so much more than a bunch of stupid posts about your favorite movies, funny Youtube videos, and status updates. 3) Facebook isn't reality, it's a FALSE REALITY. When was the last time anyone posted pictures of doing laundry, paying car insurance, or cleaning their toilet on Facebook? 4) Posting pictures of you going to clubs, looking trashy, or trying to appear ‘popular’ is pathetic. You are so much more than that. So, if you just broke up with someone, deactivate your Facebook profile for a month, go out and see the real world, and hang out with real friends. You may like it!
Vampire Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 For what it's worth, I felt like I'd been kicked in the nuts when her status went to single on Facebook and Friends Reunited - and that was during the time she was saying we'd get back together after some time apart. Facebook? Faceplant would be more apt.
Silvaria Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Ah, OK...so obviously, in this case, he changed his Facebook status from "In a relationship", or whatever, to "Single", or whatever...understood now, thank you.
Rashad Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Heh...I hate to sound ignorant, but what exactly do you mean by "updating your Facebook" status, and why does it affect you so badly? I don't know anything at all about FB... Trust me, you are not missing anything!
Rashad Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Jennie, you are not alone on this... Facebook statuses can be pretty hurtful, specially because half of the people you care about are on it. When my ex dumped me I was heartbroken so I updated my status to something sad and after a few minutes she updated her status to "ugh, I can't breath you are smothering me!" and I wasn't really doing anything I was just expressing how sad I was and I felt pretty bad because my friends were going to read both our statuses, so yeah.. cheer up, I actually feel bad for people who can selfishly hurt others like that. I'm not a regular facebooker now, I deactivated my wall and I only log on to keep in touch with friends living abroad and if I ever update my status it's usually a quote that has nothing to do with my actual "status". It serves me better that way, I don't need to know what others are doing and I don't want to share my life.
Recommended Posts