mindovermatter3 Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 he sends me three txts. i have not responded. i am trying to understand why or what he is doing. his texts: 1. do not EVER txt me or call me again. 2. i am serious. i am all set. done. 3. did u get my texts or are u ignoring me? huh? i am so confused.
Mark33 Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 you are in the driver seat. he is a kid. you can do whatever you want with him, because you can definitely have him back too easily
Author mindovermatter3 Posted September 5, 2010 Author Posted September 5, 2010 he is 45 yrs old. that is no kid. i am just confused. :/
Silvaria Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 This sounds exactly like what my ex- does right after he breaks up with me. Blocks and blacklists me everywhere, then sends me texts telling me he has done so, that's it "really" over this time, and almost demanding some sort of acknowledgment. Going by my own experience, he is not only NOT done with you, he is an attention wh*re, like mine is. When someone is truly and completely done with you, they simply ignore you, period. Or at the very least, they would have sent Text #1 and nothing after that. Text #3 was just a demand for attention...whether or not you give it to him is entirely up to you.
Trovador Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 NC in so short time is a **** even when the other party really wants to break up... I mean, its hard not to communicate even to say nasty things to you... my motto has been THE DESIRE TO TALK TO YOU IS STRONG BUT NOT STRONGER THAN THE DESIRE NOT TO TALK TO YOU... Or that I would like to believe... actually, I wanted to talk to her even when I was the one to break things up... and after I had said my piece to her I had the uncontrolable desire to call her up to tell her that this time was for real but I didn´t do it... I guess your ex didn´t see anything wrong in doing it... I think you should have responded the first text he sent you. Something like "Fine with me..." If he is like me, I think he is pleading for another chance... like saying "what? are you not fighting for this damned thing?"
jennie10 Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 It sounds to me like he is a attention seeker. He likes you to chase him and because you're not he's feeling angry and insecure. Also, because you're not playing into his plan by replying, he is probibly panicked thinking that he's going to lose you. Let him sweat it out!
Cee Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 I know this is a painful time, but the texts are kind of funny. In text #1 he says, do not text me... You comply and do not text him. In text #2 he is furious at your NC compliance & gets tough on you You do not get upset and maintain NC. In text #3 he is now asking for you to contact him. It reminds me of that game of whoever talks first loses. Almost always, somebody says something and then whines, "Do over." You do not want a NC do over with this guy. Quietly let those texts go.
Trovador Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 I would like the OP tell us, if she will, how many times has she broken NC, just to put stuff on perspective... I mean, I don't think things are that simple in a break up... It seems to me this is not the first time something like this happens, and the OP and her ex have fought other times, and they usually break NC shortly after... this time, one of them didn´t effectively respond a mssg what enraged the other party... Is that so? Or am I reading too much into what seems my own story?
Tryingtorebuild Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 It sounds to me like he is a attention seeker. He likes you to chase him and because you're not he's feeling angry and insecure. Also, because you're not playing into his plan by replying, he is probibly panicked thinking that he's going to lose you. Let him sweat it out! Basically this. I assume this because I was like this at one point. He wants a rise out of you, he wants to be begged for back. I would not say a damn thing unless there is some sort of genuine apology issued, and even then its at your discretion...
Author mindovermatter3 Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 This sounds exactly like what my ex- does right after he breaks up with me. Blocks and blacklists me everywhere, then sends me texts telling me he has done so, that's it "really" over this time, and almost demanding some sort of acknowledgment. Going by my own experience, he is not only NOT done with you, he is an attention wh*re, like mine is. When someone is truly and completely done with you, they simply ignore you, period. Or at the very least, they would have sent Text #1 and nothing after that. Text #3 was just a demand for attention...whether or not you give it to him is entirely up to you. he has done the same. i am blocked from aim, fb, etc. but he sent another txt. 4. ok. ur not responding. fair enuff. i have only loved u. sorry it was not enuff 4 u. there were 2 more. i did not and have not responded. but fwiw, i think ur right.
Author mindovermatter3 Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 NC in so short time is a **** even when the other party really wants to break up... I mean, its hard not to communicate even to say nasty things to you... my motto has been THE DESIRE TO TALK TO YOU IS STRONG BUT NOT STRONGER THAN THE DESIRE NOT TO TALK TO YOU... Or that I would like to believe... actually, I wanted to talk to her even when I was the one to break things up... and after I had said my piece to her I had the uncontrolable desire to call her up to tell her that this time was for real but I didn´t do it... I guess your ex didn´t see anything wrong in doing it... I think you should have responded the first text he sent you. Something like "Fine with me..." If he is like me, I think he is pleading for another chance... like saying "what? are you not fighting for this damned thing?" i think he was trying to bait me.
Author mindovermatter3 Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 Yes. we have gone thro awful fights b4. we have never done NC. i was the first to initiate it. yesterday being the first time. i have wanted to reply, but i did not. in the past when we have fought and broken up, it was me that chased him, tried to salvage the relationship. it was me that sent the gifts, cried for his love. i am tired of being the only one that cares. i am trying to remain strong and move on. its not easy but i have to cut him out of my life. he is a poison for me. a toxcin.
Trovador Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 And that's what he expected, that you answered back immediately... well, you did fine and taught him a lesson... on the other hand, be prepared to a rough time ahead... as I said NC is a **** even when the other person is a toxic one and especially when the split is less than amicable... Anyway, I have been known to break NC after just an hour ha ha!
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