Banega100 Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 Hi there i was wondering whether any one has any experience of, following the breakup, having to see their ex every day (i'm sure some have), and if so, assuming you are a dumpee, how the hell did you get your sht together and get over it? I write this because i have college soon with an ex being in close proximity at any given moment. She was initially intending to move elsewhere, the irony being that i was on her list of reasons to go to the same college as me. Anyways, any experience and input on this will be appreciated. I'm guessing it's not impossible to move on. thanks
newguyhere Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 Its not impossible to move on at all in this situation. After me and my ex broke up, I was still very much in love with her. I went months without seeing her but still loved her very much. She later got a job where I work so I see her a lot now. Funny thing is it dont bother me anymore. When she first got the job I would look for reasons to bump into her to say high, but now I could care less if I see her or not LOL. You will get over her when your ready to accept that its over. No matter how often you see her. Actually the last thing my ex said to me at work was "hey I was starting to think you didnt work here anymore cause I havnt seen you all week" lol! You will move on trust me. I actually think seeing my ex often has helped me let go and heal better. Being able to walk past your ex and not even think or look twice is a good feeling. Time and patients is all you need. good luck.
Thorgs Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 I have to see my ex's daughter every day and I am the dumpee. It's very difficult, but like everything, time will heal us all. Just exercise and eat well and it will make a world of difference.
Trovador Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 My ex and I work in the same office. And it has been hard not to call, knowing she is literally just some meters away from me. Well after some weeks is not that hard anymore. But for me it´s been tough when we have crossed paths. Invariably, we start talking again... I mean, while we don´t bump into each other everything is all right but it is enough to see each other from some distance to smile and say hi and most times to make some small talk... it is usual then than one of us (she mainly) call the other and things start again... for some little time... that same day or next we fight again and then NC, bump into each other, talk again and fighting... rinse and repeat... So, it has been hard to move over, the same as her... and I think going NC is useless and futile when you are going to see your ex most of the time... last time, we did it a week until we see each other in the kitchen... I guess you can do it but not going NC... But if it helps, I have to tell you that is she the one not committed to NC, because she considers it childish, that is why she literally chases me when we bump into each other and I start to get away from her... So, if your ex is capable of ignoring you like you do, I think it is possible to move on... Hope what I wrote make some sense ha ha
shayan Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 She and I had been friends for two years and we went to the same highschool and befriended eachother because we also atteneded the same college. We became close and ended up dating for 8 months. She then dumped me (it hurt very much). However, I then still decided to be friends with her and still had an entire year of school with her. Listen if you plan to handle this situation correctly follow my advice. I think someone before me stated this and he said so with warrant. When you want to get over someone it doesn't matter whether you see them or not. I believe that not seeing them could make it easier, however it's more important that there are internal rather then external changes. My advice is don't do things to see her, never plan to see her! stop caring what she thinks, when you do see her treat her as an aqauttaince. That is all the whole point is you need to stop caring internally. Mourn her if you have to cry, go through the stages but do not use her any longer. She cannot be a standard or priority in your life she cannot be a cructh. It took me 9 months to come to the conlusion I am sharing with you now after we broke up, but I promise you if you continue to let her to be a part of your life then it will take just as long. Cut her out and yes it's ok if someday you want to be friends again but that's only when you are completely over her and by then you probably won't even care anymore, and then yes if you choose so you can be friends. So my take on things, Yes it will be a little harder to do if she is around, however very far from impossible. Instead of carrying an "out of sight, out of mind" mentality shift it to "out of mind, out of sight" one. Good luck Playa! You will do this, let me know if you need further advice!
RockinZ28 Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 eh it was kinda tricky for me..my ex was MY BOSS so i literally had to see her constantly..she left me (me 25 her 28 at the time) for a 45 year old millionaire guy in which she lied about for a few months (she was starting to date him during our actual relationship lol)..awkward for a long time needless to say but hey, at least i banged my boss!
Author Banega100 Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 Thanks alot for the help. I've worked hard on the internal, and have watched my thoughts closely. My heart races when i catch a glimpse of her around, but it's not so much a feeling of wanting her, more like a mini heart attack. Which is good.... i guess ha. thanks again guys.
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