I hate rebounds!!

[tick]

Hi I just wanted to share my story with you all and get your thoughts because everyone I talked to about this that I know doesn't have a clue to what's going on.. S here I go..

 

My ex and I dated for a year and a half, and she was in a relationship with her first real serouious boyfriend.. She didn't love him anymore and didn't want to dump him because she can't be alone.. (Yes one of those) So she met me at work and she wanted me bad.. I didn't because of our age difference.. I was 22 and she was 18.. Im now 23 and she is 19.. She chased me and I didn't want anything so we just hung out.. We ended up dating and we both kind of fell in love.. she was saying it after a few months.. She loved everything about me.. I wasn't sure and told her that love is a strong word so I need time.. It took a week but we talked every day.. I told her I wanted her and we stated telling each other we loved each other all the time.. It was great..She wanted it all with me. Within 5 or 6 months she told me that she wanted to be engeged within 3 years..

 

I wanted to take it slow.. Not only that but we worked together.. And she was VERY insecure and jelouse.. WE fought alot because of it.. But we would get over quick and it would be great.. We both said we it was good it was great and when it was bad it was really bad.. But she stared school at a commuity college and I told her to met new friends because we saw each other EVERY DAY!! No lie.. She didn't want to see anyone else because she didn't want it to be like that.. No one but me.. She was SOOO dead certian about that.. All the time I only want you I love you sooo much.. I want to get married.. Her family loved me and mine liked her.. Anyway she met this guy at school and they hit it off.. They studyied well together and I let her play basekball with him.. But in the end she said he wasn't who I thought he was.. He went to partys and he could be a jerk I guess.. so she stopped talking to him and for 6 months we would fight and make up.. we both worked together and we both got a dog.. I got it for her.. She LOVED this dog.. spent more time with it then me.. ha.. Anyway I found out that when she was with that kid at school she asked me if she could work out and I said no I don't think that is appropreit.. she said ok.. But she told me two days later that she did and she was sorry.. I was mad but I said it was ok.. see she would be madder than a hornet if I did that but she did it and just said sorry.. She would tell me if she would do somthing behind my back.. Which didn't happen really at all.. But anyway..

 

I was on facebook and her old boyfriend would send her messages to tell her how he was... She would tell me about it and sometimes asked if she would write back to him.. I said yes somtimes but he would cross the line somtimes to so I didn't like it.. The last messages he sent she sent him somthing back and I found out about it when I went on her page.. She was right there and she could tell I was pissed.. So we went for a walk and I told her that I should break up with her for what she did.. She said she dersverd that but she begged me not to break up with her.. She would do anything.. so I took her back.. I told her a few weeks later that I just wanted a little separtaion because we fought alot.. she said ok.. she would wait.. even if I dated somone else she would wait and she ment it.. my mom asked her if I dated another girl would she take me back and she said yes.. Because she loved me.. Anyway we went camping before we separated with her family.. They do it every year.. And we stayed a week.. We didn't fight all but once.. She asked why didn't I want to marry her?? I said we have alot of problems to work out before we get married.. So we left camping and we got back and she said we need a break up because she can't handle me doing anything while we were still dating.. So at first I didn't think anything of it.. Because she was allways so certian about us..So we planned the break up for friday at the end of june.. It was stuiped I know..

 

She told me she was distancing herself because she didn't want it to hurt as much.. So we "broke up" we her family came back.. They didn't understand why and they didn't like it.. They wanted us to get married.. SO after two days I wanted to date again and I missed her.. So she came over and said I had to take the dog.. Her dad didn't want it at her house.. So I took it.. I asked her if we could started dating again and she said no because she wanted to be single for awile.. NO relationship or anything just have fun.. So I was kind of sad but I said ok.. Come to find out she was talking to her ex again and the kid from school!! I went to chruch with her and the family, We did this every sunday.. and we went to a movie after and I found out she had pic. of him and said she thought maybe she loved him. I was floored.. she told me he was the biggest mistake of her life.. never wanted him again.. That stuff.. I was pissed.. But she was cuddling me at the movies and it was like nothing had happend.. But in the car ride home she said she saw us as just friends.. I was shocked.. It didn't make sense.. The next two days I asked her over to talk with her.. She didn't want to but she did.. I got so mad at her when she said she didn't want to date right now.. Not anyone but she was texting guys.. So I got mad and told her she didn't love me and I was just a rebound and she said that wasnt true and she could still see us married and kids and all that but not now.. She needed a break.. That we would get back together but not now.. So that made me feel better.. I cried and she cried and she left to go with her friend.. She only has one..

 

So she was texting her ex and the kid from school.. Her ex was in the army so she couldn't see him.. So she stated hanging out with the kid from school.. She was in the pool with him and met his family and hung out.. She said she didn't want a relaionship and he said the same.. But after a few weeks they started dating.. almost a month after us.. She said she would date him because he was leaving for cmu at the end of aug. but she is going up to see him.. Her ex sent her flowers but she doesn't want him now.. Said she didn't care if he died over there.. She is a completey differnent person now.. She doens't care about anything or anyone but herself and this kid.. He's family is rich even though he doesn't have a job.. She told me that she couldn't stand that.. But he goes to school full time.. She was texting me alot and asked if I was mad at her and I started making my answer short and to the point.. So she asked if she could come over to my house.. And right away she said who told you to not talk to me to make me miss you?? See saw right through me.. She we talked and it was awakword but she said she was seeing the kid and she liked him.. She told people at work that she still loved me but wanted to be sure.. But she said that she didn't miss me as a boyfriend and sent me a facebook message a month ago telling me that she didn't miss me and we wernt' going to try again.. She didn't think it was because of this new kid she was dating..

 

In the last week of working with her I stopped talking to her and she got mad but didn't tell me.. She told her grandma(who also likes me) that she didn't derseve to be ignored.. But I told her grandma who asked me about it that It hurt her to much to see her and to be friends.. So Im not talking to her.. Her grandma agreed and told her the same thing.. Last friday she asked for a pic. of our dog that she doesn't see or have anything to do with.. and I didn't respond.. I wont.. So she texted me later that night telling me that she didn't dersver to be ignored and that she knows I have a life but she doesn't desever that.. I didn't say anything.. It sucks that we have to work together.. I makes it hard.. O and one more thing.. Last month the last time I went to church I went to a party before.. This girl from work was all over me and I told her no but she kissed me and what not.. My ex could tell somthing was wrong and told me to tell her the next day at church.. I told her it wasn't a big deal. But she said she had the right to know.. So I told her.. and she asked if we had sex and I said no.. She then told me she didn't care.. and that she was seeing the kid from school.. I found out later that she told her mom how could I do somthing like that... She wasn't happy.. and I found out this past wed. that somone from work asked if she still loved me and she said yes.. and she knows I love her to.. I don't understand.. I looked on facebook,(i don't get on very often) and the kids got a pic. of them up but she doesn't have one of them. And she is still single.. I don't get it.. She told me she wanted to take things slow with him.. she didn't want to hurt him.. She hurt me and her frist ex but wanted to take things slow.. She isn't going slow with him.. She got sick form him and goes up when ever she can to see him.. It's only 45 mins away.. I don't know.. Any one have any thoughts?? I not expecting any.. no one can tell me whats going on.. Even her own mom doesn't understand.. Her fiend tired talking to her and told me she's never seen her so confused.. Anyone??

[TheLoneSock]

Hate to break it to you dude but %90 of girls you meet are going to be like this. They are like monkeys, they don't let go of one branch until they have a hold on another one. If they didn't, their world would end. You just have to get better at watching out for yourself and refuse to date any girl who's been in a serious relationship within the past 6 months. More if need be. There are guys like this out there as well who are involved in serial relationships. It is due to low self worth.

[Don Ho]

Hate to break it to you dude but %90 of girls you meet are going to be like this. They are like monkeys, they don't let go of one branch until they have a hold on another one.

 

Exactly! I say that to my friends all the time "Women are like monkeys, they never let go of one branch until they have hold of another"! True!!

[tick]

But why would she want to get married and be so certian about me and us and then swich it off just like that?? Women are like that?? Really?? You don't think this is just a rebound?? She started seeing him like 2 weeks after us.. She said she didn't want to go fast but she is.. Not relationship but she might as well be.. I don't know.. It was a year and a half.. Thats to long for it to be a rebound right?? And why would she get mad if I don't talk with her?? She always told me she didn't care what I did.. And she just told someone at work she still loves me and I love her.. Not a week ago.. I don't mean to hang on, But somthing doesn't make sense..

[Don Ho]

But why would she want to get married and be so certian about me and us and then swich it off just like that?? Women are like that?? Really?? You don't think this is just a rebound?? She started seeing him like 2 weeks after us.. She said she didn't want to go fast but she is.. Not relationship but she might as well be.. I don't know.. It was a year and a half.. That's to long for it to be a rebound right?? And why would she get mad if I don't talk with her?? She always told me she didn't care what I did.. And she just told someone at work she still loves me and I love her.. Not a week ago.. I don't mean to hang on, But somthing doesn't make sense..

 

Because she is very young and immature. Obviously she can't be without a guy. She's probably telling him she wants to marry him too. You had one insecure little girl there Bro. You're trying to make sense of a 19 year old? Really? Tick, you're 23 years old. You should not be getting serious with anyone right now, especially a 19 year old. Do you know what the divorce rate is for couple that marry under the age of like 25 years old? About 80%. Not good odds for you and it was far from a perfect relationship. You sound like you need to grow up some too.

 

My advice: let her go. You're saving yourself and lot of heartache and anguish in the future. Let the "kid" have the "kid" and move on. Do yourself a favor and start dating some women that are at least your age and preferably more like 25. This probably isn't what you want to hear, but that's how I see it. Now don't post back and start asking the same questions all over again. You're just grasping and straws. Move on Bro.