kassie44 Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 hello all, i'm new to these forums and have read a lot of stories before deciding to post something of my own. I have been going through a rough time recently as I have just started a long distance relationship. My boyfriend left for college in South Carolina (I live in Michigan) on august 24th and since then i have been a wreck. I feel like a shadow of my former self. I have fallen into a pit of depression that I wasn't prepared for. I always knew from the moment I met my boyfriend that he would be going to college far away but for some reason I put it out of my mind and did not think about it until about a day before he left. Ever since he left, I barely eat. Thinking about putting food in my stomach disgusts me and I have to force myself to put something in my stomach. I barely sleep too. Where I once slept for hours and hours, I now have to take Tylenol PM just to get a decent amount - even though I end up waking up ridicuously early anyhow. I feel sad even when I am with friends and I can't get my thoughts around him being gone. He on the other hand is doing fine. He misses me and is sad, but he is able to function and actually have fun when doing other things. I guess I'm just looking for some guidance. I have been in this relationship for 7 months now and am heartbroken that this boy has left. I go to bed feeling good because we talked on the phone but then wake up in the morning with panic attacks because I know he is not physically there. The thing I am currently struggling with most is the fact that I return to high school in a few days to start my senior year. I feel incredible sadness because I know he won't be attending school with me anymore. I won't get to see his face everyday or see him in my 3rd hour class. I guess I'm just struggling with the change. Kind of ironic because I thought I would be the one that dealt with this better and I was so so wrong. I guess that it is not just my boyfriend leaving that has made me feel this way. My older brother recently left for college and he is one year older than me. I am used to going to school with him and him living with me. I am upset that he too has left. I am worrying about my senior year and it being the last year I have left and I have to start dealing with college stuff too. I have hope in the fact that I will be able to see my boyfriend every 6 weeks if everything works out perfectly (although knowing it probably won't). He told me that he will move back after college is up which is in 16 months. That seems like a short time to wait, but when you are used to seeing that person every day of your life, it seems unbearable. I'm reaching out and wondering if any of you have felt this when you transitioned to a long distance relationship. Does it get better? Because right now I feel like i'm going to be sad and depressed forever and that's scary to me. I'm scared that I won't care about my schoolwork or that I won't enjoy things anymore. I'm just wondering how you cope? Any advice would be nice at this point.
Unistudent Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 I remember when me and my now X gf had dated for a few years and then she went to university. I felt horrible... a lot like you do now. All I can recommend for now is looking towards the future. Try and think of when you will see him again... be it holidays/a birthday... etc... Try and keep some vocal contact over the phone as well... that might calm your nerves. Skype works well for a lot and others use MSN. Don't alienate your friends... I did that... it was the biggest mistake of my life (because I lost those friends and in the end also lost the girl). Just remember... that even though its hard... it could be a lot worse. He could be in another country. Keep living your life though... again you will see each other again. Just plan a date that you guys will meet and you'll have a target or a big X to put on your calendar. Best of luck!
Bridgey Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 I felt almost the exact way you do when my bf left. Especially with not being able to sleep. I thought it would never get better. But it did. Right now it feels like the end of the world, but it does get a little easier as time goes on. You're still going to miss him like crazy, but you wont ache with pain every second of every day. As Unistudent said, keep looking forward to when you will get to see him. It'll be one of the happiest days of your life when you get him back, just keep that in the front of your mind during the bad days. Also, keep yourself busy. Focus on friends and school work, it'll make the time go by quicker. I wish you the best. Hope you start feeling a little better soon
BlackLovely Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 hello all, i'm new to these forums and have read a lot of stories before deciding to post something of my own. I have been going through a rough time recently as I have just started a long distance relationship. My boyfriend left for college in South Carolina (I live in Michigan) on august 24th and since then i have been a wreck. I feel like a shadow of my former self. I have fallen into a pit of depression that I wasn't prepared for. I always knew from the moment I met my boyfriend that he would be going to college far away but for some reason I put it out of my mind and did not think about it until about a day before he left. Ever since he left, I barely eat. Thinking about putting food in my stomach disgusts me and I have to force myself to put something in my stomach. I barely sleep too. Where I once slept for hours and hours, I now have to take Tylenol PM just to get a decent amount - even though I end up waking up ridicuously early anyhow. I feel sad even when I am with friends and I can't get my thoughts around him being gone. He on the other hand is doing fine. He misses me and is sad, but he is able to function and actually have fun when doing other things. I guess I'm just looking for some guidance. I have been in this relationship for 7 months now and am heartbroken that this boy has left. I go to bed feeling good because we talked on the phone but then wake up in the morning with panic attacks because I know he is not physically there. The thing I am currently struggling with most is the fact that I return to high school in a few days to start my senior year. I feel incredible sadness because I know he won't be attending school with me anymore. I won't get to see his face everyday or see him in my 3rd hour class. I guess I'm just struggling with the change. Kind of ironic because I thought I would be the one that dealt with this better and I was so so wrong. I guess that it is not just my boyfriend leaving that has made me feel this way. My older brother recently left for college and he is one year older than me. I am used to going to school with him and him living with me. I am upset that he too has left. I am worrying about my senior year and it being the last year I have left and I have to start dealing with college stuff too. I have hope in the fact that I will be able to see my boyfriend every 6 weeks if everything works out perfectly (although knowing it probably won't). He told me that he will move back after college is up which is in 16 months. That seems like a short time to wait, but when you are used to seeing that person every day of your life, it seems unbearable. I'm reaching out and wondering if any of you have felt this when you transitioned to a long distance relationship. Does it get better? Because right now I feel like i'm going to be sad and depressed forever and that's scary to me. I'm scared that I won't care about my schoolwork or that I won't enjoy things anymore. I'm just wondering how you cope? Any advice would be nice at this point. You cope by keeping yourself busy. Also, talking on the phone and emailing helps. Ask yourself if you think he's pining over you. If the answer is no, I would encourage you to be mindful of that. Never love a man more than he loves you sweetie. I hate to be a wet blanket, but sometimes when half of a high school couple goes away for school, it becomes the reason they break up. College is about growing and changing...this means new relationships.
lala82 Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 I felt very sad as well when my bf moved abroad. During the first two months I cried a lot, I did want to eat, and when I went out with my friends I did not feel better. It is normal to be upset when you are with the person who you love everyday and then have to face a long distance relationship. Even that is a difficult circumstance, you must to be strong and keep yourself busy. Focus on your studies and try to spend some time with your friends. Otherwise, things will be worst for you and it will affect your relationship in bad way. Nowadays, we have access to internet. So, you can be in touch with your bf constantly. Try to relax a little bit and be positive. I know it is not an easy situation, but if you have a good attitude, it will help you to make things a little bit easier.
Author kassie44 Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 thanks everyone for your supporting words, they help more than you know. Knowing that some of you have felt the same way I have makes getting through this a little more bearable. I have been feeling somewhat better, but its a work in progress. The real test is going to be going back to school. The memories we have there are many and I'm scared that everywhere I turn I will be reminded of him. I will try and throw myself into my studies as many of you have suggested. I would just like to ask if anyone leads like their normal happy life still? Like I know that missing him never really goes away, but when do I start having fun again?
Unistudent Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 (edited) You really have to start letting yourself have fun again. Just keep in mind that you will see him again... it's not like hes gone ya know? Keep whats important at the moment at the front of things... make sure that you concentrate on your studies and like I said before... keep that social life alive. It honestly just takes time to get over that gutted feeling that you first get... sometimes it takes along while... again though... just keep a date in mind that you will for sure see him again on. That should make you extremely happy a lot of the time and when that day comes it will be like nothing you have ever felt. All that anticipation releasing... its amazing. Keep happy! Edited September 6, 2010 by Unistudent grammar
carvidep Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 oh man I remember the first time he dropped me off at the airport. I was a mess, and I even started crying in front of a little girl in the parking lot shuttle in my state lol. I had that same empty feeling for a good week or two, but I continued on with my life, hung out with my friends, continued talking to him, and it did get better. I agree with Unistudent, having the next date set makes a HUGE difference. That's the only reason why I remained on cloud 9 during the 3.5 months until our most recent visit. Totally twitterpated. chin up hun, it does get better.
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