mindovermatter3 Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 (edited) i am in need of advice. bf and i used to live together. his kids didnt like the change. there were now rules and chores. they wanted no part of it. we didnt last and bf moved out with his kids. we salvaged our relationship, altho its been one sided to suit his life, his family and his happiness. his kids include 2 boys 12 and 17 and a 20 yr old x step daughter. the girl and i do not get along. think two stray cats. she lives w/ bf. pays no bills. does nothing to help around the house and i havd pointed that out. she has friends and bf over all the time. ok: so its his house his problem to deal with. his son wanted my son to go over and hang out. the girl said no and wile she was at it pointed out she no longer wants me there. bf asked me to go with it 4 now until he can get her to go along w/ things. he says after his kids are grown and gone that maybe we can be together and married. am i fooling myself? how can he let his kids rule his life? am i wasting my time? i have to add, that i really do love this man. i have tolerated a lot more than i normally would b/c i am in love w/ him. Edited September 4, 2010 by mindovermatter3
Author mindovermatter3 Posted September 4, 2010 Author Posted September 4, 2010 I think i need to let go. i just drove by bfs house and his ex wife is moving things in. when i called him, he said she was dropping things off to him. they have been divorced for 10 yrs. my heart is shattered. i do not believe this. :/
ShannonMI Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 I think i need to let go. i just drove by bfs house and his ex wife is moving things in. when i called him, he said she was dropping things off to him. they have been divorced for 10 yrs. my heart is shattered. i do not believe this. :/ Do you really think his ex wife is back in the picture? Maybe you are jumping the gun. Maybe he's telling the truth and shes just dropping some things off. The kid situation sucks because kids usually come first to most people who have them. Although his kids should not be running his life. He's entitled to have a life and a girlfriend if he so chooses. Tell your boyfriend or ex boyfriend (whatever he is) to grow a pair and not let his daughter tell him what to do. If he really loves you he will have a sit down with this bratty daughter of his and set her straight.
Author mindovermatter3 Posted September 4, 2010 Author Posted September 4, 2010 i live 5 mins away from him. have to drive that way to get to work, store etc. ya, she is moving in. table, dresser, etc. he was helping her when i just drove by again: on my way home mind you. he again asked me to let this play out. i think he wants his cake too. and he wont sit the brat down. he says i am wrong for even asking him to do so and that he does not have any quick fixes atm. says he has to help the mother of his children and i have to understand. idk. all i really kno is that i love him and this is killing me.
ShannonMI Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 i live 5 mins away from him. have to drive that way to get to work, store etc. ya, she is moving in. table, dresser, etc. he was helping her when i just drove by again: on my way home mind you. he again asked me to let this play out. i think he wants his cake too. and he wont sit the brat down. he says i am wrong for even asking him to do so and that he does not have any quick fixes atm. says he has to help the mother of his children and i have to understand. idk. all i really kno is that i love him and this is killing me. I know it's painful. I'm sorry you have to go through this. How is he helping the mother of his children? By having her move back in? What, is she homeless? He sounds like he does want his cake and eat it too. I wouldn't have anything more to do with him. It's going to be hard, but don't call him. Is there another route you can take so you don't have to drive by his house? That's only going to drive you crazy.
Author mindovermatter3 Posted September 4, 2010 Author Posted September 4, 2010 I honestly think i am at that point of NC. no, there is only one main rd out of town to get on the interstate. i am on the border of ct and ri. if i were to go towards ri, it would take me 45 mins out of my way. yes. it will make me nuts. i know. and yeah she is homeless now. her current x kicked her out. i kno for a fact she does not want my x bf. she is just using him. and she will do whatever it takes to ensure she has his attn now and until she no longer needs him. its just who she is.
ShannonMI Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 I honestly think i am at that point of NC. no, there is only one main rd out of town to get on the interstate. i am on the border of ct and ri. if i were to go towards ri, it would take me 45 mins out of my way. yes. it will make me nuts. i know. and yeah she is homeless now. her current x kicked her out. i kno for a fact she does not want my x bf. she is just using him. and she will do whatever it takes to ensure she has his attn now and until she no longer needs him. its just who she is. Well when you drive by his house, stare straight ahead and do not look. I know that sounds insane, but it will be for your own good. It will take will power, but you have to do it. Does your ex realize he is being used? He's ok with that? I would just not call or talk to him and see what happens. I'm sorry because it sounds like a sh*tty situation.
Author mindovermatter3 Posted September 4, 2010 Author Posted September 4, 2010 Oh he knows. and it will be me that he complains to about her. he has been very rude to me. told me it was not my business and to not add my HO. we just broke up again like an hour ago. its all too easy for him to walk in and out of my life.
ShannonMI Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 Oh he knows. and it will be me that he complains to about her. he has been very rude to me. told me it was not my business and to not add my HO. we just broke up again like an hour ago. its all too easy for him to walk in and out of my life. You don't deserve him walking in and out on you like this. Don't be available for him to complain to you about his ex wife. If he calls, don't answer. If you do talk to him, tell him not to call you until he gets his sh*t together.
thrownaway Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 OMG he sounds like trash! SORRY! But really, this guy is about as sorry as they come! His STEP-daughter gets to talk to him the way she does! WRONG! I believe that if he TRULY wanted a life with you, you would be at his place right now waking up to him cooking you a hot pancake breakfast!!! He is treating you like trash and you are allowing him to do it because you are down on yourself... snap out of this cycle! He has you RIGHT where he wants you! Do not let him treat you this way. Move on to a man who is going to treat you to breakfast in bed every weekend!!!!
Author mindovermatter3 Posted September 4, 2010 Author Posted September 4, 2010 OMG he sounds like trash! SORRY! But really, this guy is about as sorry as they come! His STEP-daughter gets to talk to him the way she does! WRONG! I believe that if he TRULY wanted a life with you, you would be at his place right now waking up to him cooking you a hot pancake breakfast!!! He is treating you like trash and you are allowing him to do it because you are down on yourself... snap out of this cycle! He has you RIGHT where he wants you! Do not let him treat you this way. Move on to a man who is going to treat you to breakfast in bed every weekend!!!! you are right. you are. for the last two yrs i have allowed him to make all the rules of our so called relationship. i was just sitting here thinking about everything. do u know the man has never bought me flowers or a card. never did anything romantic. idk y i have allowed this behavior. i am going nc and have since today.
Author mindovermatter3 Posted September 5, 2010 Author Posted September 5, 2010 He has already broken NC. sigh
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