Fallen Angel Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 Well after a good week of a very dramatic relationship, MM sent me a text, yes a text, saying that he needs to be alone. Alright. I absolutely do NOT want to contact this guy again. Especially when it would be like, "So even if you have treated me like absolute dog crap, I didn't listen to you when you told me to throw your ring out so I want you to have it back." Like, Hello??? He has not contacted me and asked for it back. In fact, he may never contact me. So I think I will just leave the friggin' ring in the drawer where it sits. After a few months, I will likely throw it out. If he contacts me before that, I will ask him for an address to mail it to. By the way guys, I NEVER said I wouldn't give it to him if he asked for it back. At this point, I just want this toxic, poor excuse for a human being out of my life. And also, our relationship was never an A as when I was with him, he was separated. We went out in public and did normal couple things. Well, you referred to him as MM, and posted in the OW/OM forum, hence people considering it an affair relationship. Simply going out in public together and doing normal couple things, does not preclude it from being an affair. You say that you do not want contact with him, but holding on to his wedding ring gives him reason to contact you. The most simple solution is to send it back to him, thereby removing the excuse for him to have to contact you in order to request it back. You say you wouldn't withhold the ring were he to request it, why not beat him to the punch and return it so he has no reason to attempt to contact you? I think perhaps you protest too much, and that you are hoping that by holding onto the ring he will make contact. In that way, when he contacts you, you get to say "Well, I didn't break NC, he did!" and absolve yourself of responsibility for it. But that is just my opinion, and we all know how much opinions are worth around here...
jj33 Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 Because I don't have an address!!! I just searched the internet trying to find his home address and it isn't listed. So unless I contact him (not a chance) or his xW, then I am SOL. His home is over an hour away from where I live in another town. OK it didnt occur to me that you wouldnt have his address. Do you have his work address? If not, then in that case you wait. Sorry you are going through this
Fallen Angel Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 Because I don't have an address!!! I just searched the internet trying to find his home address and it isn't listed. So unless I contact him (not a chance) or his xW, then I am SOL. His home is over an hour away from where I live in another town. Wow. See what happens when you open the "respond to post" window and then go and make yourself a cup of coffee?? You miss posts and then look as though you showed up late for the prom. :o:o Surely you have some address you can send it to. His work? His friends? Did you not know this man very well at all? You can find his address through one of those pay internet sites if you really want to. It costs only a few dollars. My lawyer found my exH's new address that way.
Author BurriedAlive Posted September 5, 2010 Author Posted September 5, 2010 OK it didnt occur to me that you wouldnt have his address. Do you have his work address? If not, then in that case you wait. Sorry you are going through this Thanks JJ... I am sorry I am going through this as well. The stupid ring feels like a hot potato. It's bugging me knowing it's here. It's probably really silly of me to let it bother me but it does! I guess there is always the option of sending him a text saying: "your ring is still here. Send me an address where I can mail it. If not, I am throwing it out." I don't want to contact him but maybe it is a means to an end. As it sits here, it does give him a reason to contact me. Of course there is always the chance that he really doesn't care about it, doesn't plan on going back to W and thinks I have already tossed it.
stillafool Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 Agreed, on that it totally sucks for his wife... But if he couldn't even be bothered to be considerate enough to say something to her goodbye text, why should she go through the trouble of giving him back a ring that he told her she could throw out? He obviously didn't care about the marriage if he was cheating on his W, and he doesn't value the symbolism of the ring if he told her she could throw it out - he's not worth the effort of returning the ring. Yeah you're right. If he said throw it away then I would. Why waste a stamp mailing it back to him. Probably, like another couple I know who went back together, they wanted to start off with new rings to go with their new life.
NoIDidn't Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 I would just throw it out. He already thinks you did. So why not just do that and be done with him?
pureinheart Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Take the ring to the pawn shop. If he asks for it, give him the receipt and he can pay to get it back. As God as my witness I was going to suggest the same thing, although decided to read the replies first....
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