L3stat Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 the love of my life at this point in my life dumped me about 4 weeks ago and ofcourse i went through the motions, tried to reason, beg, cried etc etc. so after breaking NC many times, emotions got the better of me, it always ended up bad never turned out the way i'd hope. now i thought she loved me, but you know fell out of love or was having doubts again whatever whatever, so 2 weeks into the break up, i go out with an old flame to get over her, and one thing leads to another and we have sex. i felt bad (afterwards:() so i didnt see her again, so i went over (stupid:lmao:) got played out ofcourse, so finally she tells me that she never loved me she was just using me for money:mad:, my heart skip a couple of beats, needless to say, as much as that hurt it help me get over her quickly then i would otherwise. last coupld of days i met this girl (online:D) went out she was into me alot but i really wasnt to intersted in a romantic realtionship so ofcourse me being the kind of guy that i am sleeps with her on the first date:confused: and she tells me "shes never done this before blah blah" i just really dont care, then we go out again, ( by out i mean a long drive to somewhere secluded:)) sleep with her again, (afterwards;)) realize that i'm still stuck on my freaking ex, i know it never will be, i know that but god dammit i love her as much as i did when we were together...i want her back, i miss her, so much i want to call/text/email smoke signals( i wont) i told the girl she wasnt to happy ofcourse but i didnt matter the sex was whack plus i never really was intersted, but i know myself im not one of those time will heal kind of guys, i will again and again go out with different women with the hopes that i will like them enough to forget about my ex.. am i a bad person for dating women like this?
Sambo Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 am i a bad person for dating women like this? Your not a bad person but your getting back exactly what you are putting out into the world. You use people and a person used you ! Do you like the way it feels to be used ? If you do then keep using people and you will keep getting used. It's really quit simple. Why are you surprised?
Author L3stat Posted September 4, 2010 Author Posted September 4, 2010 ha true, not really suprise. im not purposely using them and i dont think i am, i might be though i see that but i actually go out with them excited and hoping for the best. as the date drags on come to find out they not really my type.
thrownaway Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 STOP sleeping with them! You HAVE to get to know people.... that entails TALKING to them, getting to know about them... asking them questions... being proactive. I think you are a bit toxic and should stay out of the dating scene for a bit until you are a little more prepared. You will only hurt yourself in the long run... not to mention other people. You could recklessly end up with a disease due to your lack of concern for you right now. You in no way should be dating! I am not degrading you, I am guilty too, but I didn't sleep with anyone, could have but didn't... infact I didn't get physical in any way with any of them. I went out on a few dates within weeks of leaving my ex, only to realize that I wanted to go and cry in a corner because none of them were like my ex. I realized I am just not ready for dating yet, however it did give me a bit of an early wake-up call in that the reality is I am going to have to date again at some point, which I don't look forward to AT ALL! The mere thought of it makes me sick... my stomach is turning as I write this.
Sambo Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 ha true, not really suprise. im not purposely using them and i dont think i am, i might be though i see that but i actually go out with them excited and hoping for the best. as the date drags on come to find out they not really my type. Hmmmmm Sounds exactly like what your ex may have done with you doesn't it ??? Can you see my point? Life is actually very simple, we get what we put out so if you don't like what your getting change who you are.
Author L3stat Posted September 5, 2010 Author Posted September 5, 2010 yea, i realize that i should (i am) gonna stay out the dating game until i am truly ready. i am not over my ex not by a long shot. so i made up my mind to try my best to stay single, i already told the women i was talkin to the truth, they got mad but understood, i think in the long run it will help, i have always gone from one LTR to another without any breaks in between its time for one i guess...thanx for telling me what i needed to hear
thrownaway Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 It will be good for you... and put you ahead of the game by helping you prepare for the kind of person you really want to attract into your life. Read some self-help books, or download some audios of them and listen to them at night while lying in bed. When I say self-help I mean books along the lines of being a better person, how to achieve goals in life, etc. (ie: Carnegie, Dyer, Hill, Covey... etc.)
Sambo Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 yea, i realize that i should (i am) gonna stay out the dating game until i am truly ready. i am not over my ex not by a long shot. so i made up my mind to try my best to stay single, i already told the women i was talkin to the truth, they got mad but understood, i think in the long run it will help, i have always gone from one LTR to another without any breaks in between its time for one i guess...thanx for telling me what i needed to hear Good for you! I know its hard but you want to make sure that your not just repeating old patterns. Take the time to figure out what you really want from a relationship and reflect on yourself and your long term goals. You sound relatively young and there is no need to rush into anything you have plenty of time. ENJOY your FREEDOM and when you love yourself again then think about finding a good woman who will love you back equally.
Author L3stat Posted September 5, 2010 Author Posted September 5, 2010 yea, i have alot of soul searching to do. i do repeat the same pattern and i have never really been single always been in relationships. i will check out those self-help books, all i have is time now, thanx for the advice help alot. yes i am young 25
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