molimo140 Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 My ex broke up with me (via text message... ) 3 weeks ago. Just to put that in perspective she's 20 and I'm 23. Prior to this we had a long 'us' talk at the end of which I thought we were both on the same page. We saw each other the day following this discussion and it felt a little awkward and strained, probably not the best sign in the world. At any rate, she then proceeded to practically ignore me for around a week (we were both out of town, though) and ultimately this led to the aforementioned text message break up. She now refuses to talk to me, even going so far as to propose a time to meet up and then when I couldn't make it, didn't offer to reschedule. I've had enough of her childish behavior, but I'd kind of like some semblance of closure so I can just move on... I mean I got no real indication of what was going on at the end. Should I just say forget it and go NC? Kind of feeling that right now..
skydiveaddict Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 Yes move on. You don't need "closure".
bestrong Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 Move on. She is not going to give you any closure cause she doesn't care. You don't need a closure, you just need to tell yourself "it's time to move on"
LostInTurn Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 I'm sorry. That's terrible. It doesn't sound as though she really understands the magnitude of what she has done. I understand what you mean when you say you'd like closure. My opinion; although not what you're probably looking to hear is, don't try. Many of us will never hear the reasons why or be heard. We'll never be given that one last conversation. I wasn't. I tried. Our exs don't care enough to give us the time of day, nevermind closure. I would suggest NC. It's the most sensible option for you. This will only benefit you. Give yourself closure and go NC. If our exs cared, they'd be with us right now. Or they'd at least give us closure without our needing to ask.
bonpaw2008 Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 Sorry but you won't get closure from her because she can't give that to you. You say that you had a long talk before this, think back on that conversation, find reasons of why she left, but most of all take the things that went wrong and grown and make yourself better because of them. Work on yourself, get your own closure over why you would ever waste your time on a person that would break up with you via text message, and you will be on your own way to moving on.
Nappeal Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 Honestly, I don't think us dumpees will ever get the closure that we're actually looking for. Even if they gave us a damn good answer for every question we ask, or have legitimate reasons for breaking things off, it still wouldn't be good enough...we'd still have questions after the fact. I myself have had to come to the conclusion that the X will never give me closure - ever. Sometimes, the only closure we get is that there isn't any. The only closure we have is that the relationship ended; for whatever reason, its done and the other person has moved on. Its a hard pill to swallow, I know, but as the dumped, we can only work w what the dumper gives us unfortunately. There's no good reason ever to break NC unless the other person gives clear and honest intentions on reconciliation. Take her leaving as your closure, and do what you must to move on.
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