Silvio Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 I posted in another section about the problems Ive had this summer with my girflriend and I know I should probably let go of her but I love hearing others advice and perspective so Im gonna tell you whats happening to me and listen to your thoughts. I was seeing a married woman for about three years and we grew very close during that time and fell deeply in love. Earlier this summer she divorced and said it wasnt for me but she just wasnt happy anymore. We started having problems immediately that involved her lying to me about where she was on weekends and then the inevitable "Im so sorry" txts on Monday. Ive tried to break it off with her but Im miserable without her. She has changed end is no longer very stable and I really dont trust her. The problem is that she is still showering me with sex several times a week while telling me she has never loved anyone the way she loves me. Which is EXACTLY how I feel. I told her I needed her honesty more than anything and she finally told me that she is "intrigued" by an older man that she used to work with. She has started dating him but she sent me several txts during the date saying that it was me that she loved. She met me before and after the last date and had sex with me...WTF???? Ive asked her to just tell him that she cant date him right now and she refuses. She says she wants to be with me but feels herself being pulled in HIS direction. She told me that she is interested in all the things he can offer but cant see herself in the future anywhere but with me. She says she just needs to prove to herself that they arent compatible where she can give me 100% of her attention. Im stupid. I know this. Is there any hope for me in this situation? What is going on here? She calls me several times a day and professes her undying love for me. I told her if she loved me the way she says she could a least try to commit more to me. She said she views us as being in a committed relationship but she feels like she needs to get him out of her system. What is wrong with her? What is wrong with me?
Hop_prophet Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 Her actions tell me very clearly that she does not love you or even respect you. You've already set the pattern of being an other man so why should she change now all of a sudden. She is using you and is probably a mess after the divorce. She sounds manipulative and toxic. Go find an available woman who can give you much more.
Author Silvio Posted September 3, 2010 Author Posted September 3, 2010 Do I have the right to feel betrayed by her quest for another man? Im so confused. She says I should definitely feel betrayed by her because thats how she sees it. I asked her if that means she would stop seeing him and she told me she couldnt say that. Im really starting to get angry at her for how she acts and angry at myself for putting up with it. She has become something in my life that is horrible and disgusting....yet I cant look away.
CupidsPosionedArrow Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 Her actions tell me very clearly that she does not love you or even respect you. You've already set the pattern of being an other man so why should she change now all of a sudden. She is using you and is probably a mess after the divorce. She sounds manipulative and toxic. Go find an available woman who can give you much more. I could really see this in a more conventional relationship, though what I think what is happening is that she is actuallzing a patterned behavior which she has exhibited with all men. Ultimately this guy (the thread poster) is just another one of these "incomplete" relationships, all stemming of course from her object relationships. The funny thing is that having casual sex with a someone enjoyable, in an intimate way, with little to no strings attached is many men's dream situation, and this guy loathes it. I think this woman will need to come to terms with her issues and seek help, then and only then, will things appreciably improve.. PS> regarding the poster, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong but he really didn't talk about himself. I really wonder about the relationship with a married woman and why he did that but who knows ..
Author Silvio Posted September 4, 2010 Author Posted September 4, 2010 Casual sex with her is VERY ENJOYABLE. Im certainly not complaining and Ive thought maybe we should go NSA all the way. She told me today after a sex session that she never wants to be in a position where she cant have sex with me. I said that wont be a problem. Im just in love with her and having a hard time dealing with her personality. The fact that she wants sex with me several times a week is not an issue. Its just odd. As I said, last week she had a two dates with the same guy. She stopped by and had sex with me before the first one on Friday. Then on Saturday morning she came back again for more. As soon as her date was over on Saturday she started calling me and seeing If we could have sex even though it was about 1am. I didnt turn her down and really dont see that happening EVER. If I ever try to break it off with her she launches a sex campaign on me immediately. In the past 3 days we've probably had sex 5-6 times. Maybe I should just accept the fact that she just needs me for that and not over-analyze it.
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