yellow pineapple Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 Okay soo I've been seeing my guy for three years now and the last year has been long distance but i'm almost done with grad school so I can move closer to him in January...that is if we are still together... Its been a really trying last few months. He went into his "shell" "mancave" or whatever when he was stressed about living at home/finding a "real" job/life after college graduation etc. After two months of being moody and not talking to me often he snapped out of it and came to visit me and we had a GREAT time. Now a month after his visit he's back to being moody. He snapped at me and said he was just in a "weird mood" right now and sorry for yelling. I know he has a lot going on with his job interviews and trying to move out of his parents house, but I've had my own share of worries with my thesis and internship interviews. Hes ignoring me more than the last time, but yet hanging out and still being social with his friends. What should I do? Give him more space? there is 1000 miles between us. I don't try to contact him, unless to say "good luck" for an interview or ask him how one went. even then he is not very responsive. if i try to txt him goodnight or i love you he wont respond at all.
pandagirl Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 Okay soo I've been seeing my guy for three years now and the last year has been long distance but i'm almost done with grad school so I can move closer to him in January...that is if we are still together... Its been a really trying last few months. He went into his "shell" "mancave" or whatever when he was stressed about living at home/finding a "real" job/life after college graduation etc. After two months of being moody and not talking to me often he snapped out of it and came to visit me and we had a GREAT time. Now a month after his visit he's back to being moody. He snapped at me and said he was just in a "weird mood" right now and sorry for yelling. I know he has a lot going on with his job interviews and trying to move out of his parents house, but I've had my own share of worries with my thesis and internship interviews. Hes ignoring me more than the last time, but yet hanging out and still being social with his friends. What should I do? Give him more space? there is 1000 miles between us. I don't try to contact him, unless to say "good luck" for an interview or ask him how one went. even then he is not very responsive. if i try to txt him goodnight or i love you he wont respond at all. Hmm, this is a tough one, as this is the basically the reason I just broke up with my ex! When he first went into his "cave," I was understanding and supportive. I let some time pass before I told him gently that he seemed distant, and I understand he was under stress, but I needed him to be more present for me (this just meant, calling me, responding to texts, etc. normal stuff).For a little bit after these conversations, it'd get better, then back to the same ol', same ol'. But then this kept on happening, and the more and more it happened, the more frustrated both of us got and the cycles got shorter. I wanted a simple phone call. He didn't have the energy or headspace. This all accumulated in a fight in the middle of the night two nights ago, when he didn't call, and finally called me at 2am. We fought about these same issues, and broke up. In retrospect, I don't think either of us was to blame. We both contributed to the situation because both of us were unwilling to compromise. I wanted what I wanted, and he wanted what he wanted. And neither of us thought what we were asking of each other was a big deal (I kind of still don't!). In the end, I think you need to decide what you can put up with and what you need. I'm an emotional person, and need substantial attention to feel happy in a relationship. Another girl might not need as much as me. You should give him space, but also talk about where his head is right now. I wish my ex and I would have communicated more about this. If he says, "I am in a weird place right now, and I might be as attentive as usual, but please be patient," see how you feel and take it from there. But, personally, one can only take so much before you start feeling neglected and unloved.
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