MRevolver Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 So after breaking it off almost 3 yrs ago, ol' "Guns"came back into my life with a mighty fury earlier this year. And gradually we began communicating more and more. Then on 4th of July he finally took the plunge and asked me out. We took things slow in July. But by August things had really picked up. We were talking everyday several times a day, going out, planning upcoming date nights, etc. He even invited me to a family event (for which I declined mainly because I wasn't ready because it was his WHOLE family), but things were great! Better than great. Then on last Thursday we had this huge 'us' talk and everything seemed positive. He was wanting to do "all he could to make this work" and I agreed. Now, fast forward to Sunday. Due to a little emergency I had to abruptly cancel our hangout time for which I apologized and he replied that he "understood" and it was "not a problem." I then dropped him a Facebook message on Monday just to wish him a great day...and nothing! I have not heard a single peep from him since Sunday night! No texts. No calls. No reply to my FB posting. NOTHING! At first I thought maybe he was just busy because he just started back school last week (he's a professional student) but then I found out that he's indeed been using his phone quite frequently cause he's continued to update his Twitter. And well...I'm upset!! I feel stupid. I feel duped. I'm like how could he completely do this again?? Especially considering things we're going so great. I mean had he expressed that it didn't feel right that would have been 1 thing but he's been saying that he was really happy with where things were headed! The only remote indication I got where he seemed 'hesitant' was when he'd mentioned he didn't want everyone judging him or our relationship based on his past actions (he'd dumped me over email, also with no remote warning). But even that we talked about and he was like "well I don't care what others think. As long as you don't hold last time against me." So what gives? Or better yet what should I do? I feel like we had been talking out what few concerns we did have so for him to just up and disappear is beyond me. Even moreso, I actually have to see him every weekend but I'm not even sure how to remotely play things since NC will be and unlikely option. Any suggestions?
Cee Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 Just call him. Get to the bottom of what's going on. If he doesn't return your call, find a photo of him and tell the picture that you are dumping him. And then, consider the two of you broken up. And remember, there will be no third chances. Good luck.
Author MRevolver Posted September 3, 2010 Author Posted September 3, 2010 (edited) Thanks for the advice Cee. As of today still no remote word from him. Which I think is horribly petty considering he knew this was gonna be a rough week for me due to some family stuff I had going on but whatever. I just wish he'd been man enough to just say he'd had a change of heart especially since he was all gung ho to try and make it work just a week ago. I mean why the disappearing act?? Man up! Anyone else have thoughts on how I should address this or if I should, especially since I'll have to see him this weekend? Edited September 3, 2010 by MRevolver
Don Ho Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 Can you provide more details? He originally dumped you a few years ago? Why? Why will you have to see him this weekend?
Author MRevolver Posted September 3, 2010 Author Posted September 3, 2010 Can you provide more details? He originally dumped you a few years ago? Why? Why will you have to see him this weekend? A few years ago things we're swinging along with us and then he dropped me an email out of nowhere saying he "thought at this time we should just be friends." I thought it strange cause he seemed really into me. But long story short, come to find out he let a friend of his talk him out of it. They kept telling him it would never work with us cause of the age difference and well past experiences (he's 7yrs younger, currently 23 vs my 29. Plus he's green as a turnip and virginal. I'm a reformed wildchild). But by no means was I pressuring him as I currently practice abstinence. And he even said that's 1 of the reasons he hadn't really been broadcasting our relationship was because he didn't want others interferring or spinning their opinions like last time. As for us seeing each other, we've got to work an upcoming event here in town plus we attend church together. We live in a very small community so even aside from that avoiding him just ain't happening... I did however find out he told his female friend (who he once tried dating) that we were "not together." For which I thought was a bit suspicious...so now I wonder if maybe he's been out searching for other options this whole time. I just don't know.
Don Ho Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 He sounds like an odd duck. Why are you dating someone so young? That's part of the problem. You should be dating guys 34-40. Your whole situation seems odd. You sure he doesn't have a woman on the side or he's not a closet bi-sexual? BTW, that clown pic is scary.
Author MRevolver Posted September 3, 2010 Author Posted September 3, 2010 (edited) He sounds like an odd duck. Why are you dating someone so young? That's part of the problem. You should be dating guys 34-40. Your whole situation seems odd. You sure he doesn't have a woman on the side or he's not a closet bi-sexual? BTW, that clown pic is scary. Lol my poor clown gets no love. To answer your question, honestly I've normally wound up with younger guys though I don't actively seek them out. Granted, he's by all means been the youngest. And our attraction just gradually happened as we have a lot of mutual friends. As for the woman on the side, I've been wondering if maybe the girl that asked if we were seeing each other was in the picture. But she's already got a guy. But you know...that may not mean anything. All I know is he seemed fine when I talked to him over the weekend but then poof! Right into thin air. Even worse was, I'd kinda had a rough weekend (and he knew this) so I assumed he'd have at least called to check on me or texted but nothing. It's like this coward is going out of his way to say he doesn't remotely care about me when just last week he claimed he "completely did." It's so frustrating! Edited September 3, 2010 by MRevolver
PixieStix Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 I did however find out he told his female friend (who he once tried dating) that we were "not together." For which I thought was a bit suspicious...so now I wonder if maybe he's been out searching for other options this whole time. I just don't know. I think that alone would be enough for me to say adiós! I would move on to someone worthy of your attention and time! Sounds like he is playing games.
sugarmomma Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 Disappearing acts are unacceptable and grounds for dismissal. I would chuck him.
Author MRevolver Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 And so it goes... my second chance is officially a bust! I finally recieved a very generic text from him on Saturday- a whole 6 days after we'd last spoke, for which I didn't respond. And this in turn prompted him to try and contact me yet again before finally leaving me a msg asking if I was suddenly "too busy" for him. And well, I let him have it! Completely called him on his disappearing act. He then tried to act like he'd been sooo busy with school but even that argument I shot down. I was like "I'm not asking to see you 24/7 but to at least have been told you were still alive would have been nice!" And well, that was that. Basically he just wasn't/isn't willing to put in the maintanence work. But at least I was able to speak my mind and find out where he actually stands. At least now I can get past the 'what-if' mentality and second chance wishful thinking and finally move forward. So thanks again everyone!
D-Lish Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 What a flake! If the guy considers returning a text or picking up the phone "too much maintenance" then he's not worth it. He sounds passive-aggressive. He doesn't talk to you for a week, then gets pissed at you when you don't call him back soon enough after he decides to come out of the woodwork. He's an anus!
Author MRevolver Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 What a flake! If the guy considers returning a text or picking up the phone "too much maintenance" then he's not worth it. He sounds passive-aggressive. He doesn't talk to you for a week, then gets pissed at you when you don't call him back soon enough after he decides to come out of the woodwork. He's an anus! You completely read my mind D-Lish! The more I've sat here and ponder this the more angry I'm becoming. I mean what a douche! Literally when I got his text accusing me of being unavailable I was floored. I just couldn't believe the amount of nerve he had! Even more ridiculous was I wound up seeing him that next day and he had the audacity to sit around with this sad face like he was the hurt one!?! He then went over and started blatantly flirting with this other chick, I guess to try and get some type of rise out of me but I was like "whatever." I just walked right on past them. I haven't spoken to him since yesterday when I confronted him and even that I had to do over email. Would have been nice had he given some type of real explanation for his disappearance but honestly, what could he have said cause I doubt he wants to own up to being a big ol' terd! lol But once again, this guy is still quite young (23) so I guess a lot of this is to be expected. I promise I gotta find folks my age! haha
D-Lish Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 You completely read my mind D-Lish! The more I've sat here and ponder this the more angry I'm becoming. I mean what a douche! Literally when I got his text accusing me of being unavailable I was floored. I just couldn't believe the amount of nerve he had! Even more ridiculous was I wound up seeing him that next day and he had the audacity to sit around with this sad face like he was the hurt one!?! He then went over and started blatantly flirting with this other chick, I guess to try and get some type of rise out of me but I was like "whatever." I just walked right on past them. I haven't spoken to him since yesterday when I confronted him and even that I had to do over email. Would have been nice had he given some type of real explanation for his disappearance but honestly, what could he have said cause I doubt he wants to own up to being a big ol' terd! lol But once again, this guy is still quite young (23) so I guess a lot of this is to be expected. I promise I gotta find folks my age! haha The more you talk about him, the more glad I am that you're not going to date him!
Author MRevolver Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 The more you talk about him, the more glad I am that you're not going to date him! Same here. I am a firm believer that all things happen for a reason. I wanted so bad to have a real shot with him and now that we've had it, I completely see why he's not the right guy for me. He is passive aggressive. He needs to grow up. And furthermore I'm really starting to think he's a narcissist to boot. So yes ma'am leaving that one alone! Let some other lass deal with his behavior. More/better fish in the sea!
threebyfate Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 You're at the point in your life where you're ready to settle down. At 23, he's just getting going and from the sounds of it, really immature for his age. I'd chock this down to experience learned and move on. He's a flake.
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