RisingAgain Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 im so very foolish...i had started NC infact i start it every morning and by the evening its like an uphill task when im in the house alone:mad: so yesterday was an easy day up till i went to sleep and woke up at seven am this morning and wondered why has the ******* not texted or called so that i can have the NC power? so i foolishly text like a two page sms saying that love is forgiving and kind and patient...we had a very big fight and i say some things i was not supposed to all because he went on a trip we were both meant to go to...i cry provocation! he then sends me all the texts i sent him that night, he sent some too but i deleted them all( im even wondering why he is still keeping my texts up till now ) i felt soooooo bad i never realised what such bad words i told him. why am i still clinging to him? im wondering if this is a punishment he is doing or if its for real...i dont know if any of you can relate. WHY DO I THINK OF HIM SO MUCH AH! i know he loves me but this is mental abuse. another thing i think of is the sex we had (it was amazzzzing!) i feel bad when i think that he will do it with another person but when i NC i feel much better only if he is calling and texting anf i aint getting back, he sends a text and im like thats the last text im replying, then i find myself in this situation EVERY SINGLE MORNING HELLLLP!
2themoon&back Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 i see you are very confused and me too i am trying to understand so bare with me is this your BF, H, or MM? and why NC? Because of a fight? you sound like you are dealing with a lot of hurt also, and it sounds like that it may have been there for a while without it being addressed? like i said i would like to help so i will say this .... do not text or call when you are upset... go to bed and sleep on it before you act on it --then you may see things differently in the morning and react differently and i am sure you are a wonderful person with a lot of love for the OP ... but do not forget to love the OOP----- YOU!! hugs to you ....and keep posting
thrownaway Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 Yes, you are very foolish, I agree. Stop giving in to him! It is not called 'no contact' if you contact him!!!
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