Many years a ago they rejected you. Would you accept them if they changed their mind?

[Swimie]

..I've had this happen a couple of times about 5 years ago. I was head-over-heels for 2 guys and they just weren't in to me. They had many other ladies to go for. (Not that the reason mattered. The point was they didn't want me.) At the time I didn't feel as though I'd be settling if I waited on them to change their mind ..I thought I could win them over and...well, I never did. Nothing romantic happened with either of them. (No hugs, pecks, nada). I eventually pulled myself together and cut them both out of my life. At the time, didn't know if I'd ever talk to them again. Don't think I cared too much about it though.

 

I suppose I feel a bit selfish and stuck-on myself for wanting them to like me instantaneously. There's actually only one guy I didn't like at first meet that I grew to be attached to. . . I talked to him as just a pal and we'd play tennis and go hiking together. I finally just "caved" and started fawning over him. So maybe I'm also part hypocrite since this guy, in a way, waited for me to like him... And I had even temporarily stopped talking to him [for months and months] because I was dating other guys. I had gotten bored when I didn't have any dating prospects so I tapped back into the reservoir and pulled him out.

 

I'm not asking this question because I'm considering either of them as prospects. I really can't fathom being into either one romantically and wanting them as lovers. Ever. I do feel this brewing with another guy whom actually shot me down earlier this week. Gave me the whole he's not interested romantically. (But chatted the nite away with me -- as usual!) Which I've accepted we'll speak only under friendship terms, rules, and regulations from now on.

 

So have any of you gentleman or ladies "forgiven" someone for rejecting you at first then they return and you grace them with a second chance? Anyone NOT give them a second chance (for what ever reason?) And feel guilty? I feel guilty. I don't know why. . . But I do know I'm not interested in them romantically... some 5 years after-the-fact. . . *rolls eyes in a snarky fashion*

 

Swimie:)

[Trovador]

Hi there... I assume you are talking about mature people, not when we were really young, because when I was a kid I was rejected a lot lol...

 

But ALL of my relationships have started just since the beginning, you know, chemistry and all that stuff... so I really have not pursued a girl, not for a long time anyway, although I have known for sure that some women have had the hots for yours truly...

 

Well, having said that, some girls who have dumped me have wanted me back, even after years since the break up, but I have never taken them back... something to do with the first "rejection"...

 

Have in mind that I am talking about real breakups, not the usual 2-3 days fights or misunderstandings...

 

And sometimes, people who rejected you don't do it because they don't love you but because they can't have a relationship with you at that time, for a lot of reasons... have you thought of that?

[L3stat]

Legit break ups have a cause, over time that is forgotton and so we get back together until what made us break up in first place re-surface and we get dumped again for the same reason, so now you got dump twice by the same person tsk tsk.

 

F**** no i would not take them back, on the simple fact i dont know what they did and who they slept with and i have this notrious double standard about my ex sleeping with other men, the moment she does theres no chance in hell im taking them back. on the other hand if i sleep with someone then uh DENY DENY DENY DENY Admit to nothing, plead the fifth LOL:p

[cavedweller]

An Ex wants to hook up with me....5 years is a long time..

 

hmmmmmmmmmm.......

[lilbunny]

I don't know what I would do, but my brother liked a girl when he was a teenager. They were friendly, but she wouldn't go out with him. Few years later when he had lost weight and his skin had cleared up they started dating. They have been married almost 16 years, are a very happy couple and have two wonderful children. So I guess it can work out for some people.

[Billie The Puppet]

Yes I would time changes people and if an attraction is still there why not?