Confused Posted July 24, 2000 Posted July 24, 2000 Hi, How would I know if I really love a person? Does missing him when he's not around and feeling happy when he calls but frustrated and angry when he does not signifies that I love this person? Thanks =)
Tony T Posted July 24, 2000 Posted July 24, 2000 Does missing him when he's not around and feeling happy when he calls but frustrated and angry when he does not signifies that I love this person? Not necessarily, but it certainly means you like that person a lot. Love is different things to different people. You can love someone to varying degrees I suppose. For the sake of this post, I am assuming you mean REALLY IN L-O-V-E!!! When you are in love, your heart beats a little faster when you are around the person, when you talk to them, you want to be with them as much as possible, you want to do little things to please them, and there is just a very special feeling inside that can't be described that you sort of carry around all the time. You get butterflies in your stomach when the person you love approaches. You can't seem to get enough of them. You smile a lot more. Your attitude is remains high. You have lots more energy. But it's very difficult to think of much more than the person you love. People around you think you have gone a little wacky. If you have to ask if you are in love with someone, you aren't. When you really fall in love, you don't have to ask other people if you are in love. There is no doubt in your mind. P.S. It is truly a GREAT feeling. I hope you get there soon!!!
Nina Posted July 24, 2000 Posted July 24, 2000 Nope. Love doesn't come easily. Someone told me once that "love is knowing how to hurt someone deeply and not doing it". I think that in order to really love someone you have to suffer for them and with them. You have to know their dark, embarrassing secrets and they should know yours. You should know their weaknesses, they should know yours. You have to share their successes and failures. You need to meet their family. You need to hang with their friends. Has he held you when you were crying? Have you held him while he cried? Has he comforted you and cared for you when you were sick? HAve you cared for him when he was sick? Has he held your hand when you were frightened? Have you held his? Is he your best friend, the person with whom you can talk about anything and he'll listen and understand? My mother told me that you never really love a person until you are married to them. I think what she meant is that there really isn't true love unless you know them intimately and they know you inside and out. What you described is interest. Lust, maybe. People throw that word around so easily. We all want to have someone who will say it to us. But loving someone hurts, it means exposing yourself to being cut to shreds and if he loves you, he won't.
Dover Posted July 24, 2000 Posted July 24, 2000 Dear Confused, I have read all the replies thus far and they are really good. To me, I know I am truly in love with a man when his happiness, wellfare and health mean everything to me. It is not the quantity of phone calls or visits I receive from him, but the quality involved. And, should it come to it, if the best thing for him is not to be with me or there is someone better for him than I, my love would dictate that I wish him well and every happiness in his future.
billy the kid Posted July 24, 2000 Posted July 24, 2000 hey confused one, nice to hear from you.. first I agree with Nina and Dover... so I really have little to say. when you know you'll know... I've always known cuz when I was in love nothing else mattered, eating, working , all the things in life that you live for, all that mattered was her.. yet that was just the begining, but later on a few months or years down the road is what really matters.. at this point in time,I think and this us just my opinion, the feelings should be the same, except you should be eating better. I still think about her at work all the time, I still can't wait to get home to see her, I still want to snuggle, and make out like we were kids, I still want to play touchie feelie games, still like to put the washing machine on spin and fool around, still want to work in the flower bed and get our hands dirty together.. so if the feeling is really great at first go with it for a while and see , who knows you might want to plant a garden together and see what comes up... Dear Confused, I have read all the replies thus far and they are really good. To me, I know I am truly in love with a man when his happiness, wellfare and health mean everything to me. It is not the quantity of phone calls or visits I receive from him, but the quality involved. And, should it come to it, if the best thing for him is not to be with me or there is someone better for him than I, my love would dictate that I wish him well and every happiness in his future.
Confused Posted July 25, 2000 Posted July 25, 2000 Wow! Thanks for responding to my question with all those great advises and =0) I've never really been in love so that word sounds alien to me. If what I mentioned signifies that I like this person a lot, is it then possible for that feeling to develop into love latter? We're actually kind of like together now but the feelings are all so confusing. True that my heart seems to beat faster and I make sure I look presentable enuff when we are meeting etc but yet I don't seem to like to get too physical with him. I can merely accept light pecks on the cheek or lips. Why is it all so confusing?
Tony T Posted July 25, 2000 Posted July 25, 2000 Sounds to me that, on some level, you are bit scared to death!!!
Rogue Posted July 26, 2000 Posted July 26, 2000 Finding out if you love someone is really important.But to me ,there is something much more important than love. That is TRUST. Falling in love is much easier,but finding someone to trust is so much harder. You're really lucky if you can find Love and Trust in the same person.
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