Is How He Feels True?

[StillWonderingWhy]

After four or five years of biased advice, I have come here for unbiased advice that I hope will help me.

 

I met this boy on a mobile chat site five years ago this month. He and I started dating, and over the years, we had our break-ups, our fights, and anything else you can imagine. He really helped me cope with the loss of my father.

 

After the third time we broke up about stupid little things, his step-father took his phone away. Before he lost contact, he told me that he might not ever be coming back and to find someone else if I wanted. Well, I did. I wasn't the most faithful woman, and I regret those mistakes still. I was with the guy for a year. All through that time, he waited for me. And it was killing him inside every time I dated someone else that wasn't him.

 

He would do anything he could to be able to talk to me. Whether it would be to make straight A's in school, or steal his step-dad's phone to talk to me late at night, and early in the morning before school, or finding a website we could IM each other on. He went so far as to make proxy sites to use for MySpace to talk to me through at school. His latest thing, was decoding his neighbor's encrypted internet password to talk to me online.

 

He had this girlfriend at one time, and she hacked his screen name, and mailed me, pretending to be him. She said some awful stuff to me that mad me hate him for awhile. Some time after, she mailed me on her screen name, asking me how much he loved me and if he still did. I told her the truth, that the only reason he dated her was because I told him to, and that he was still telling me he was in love with me. Some hours later, they were over. I have been paranoid talking to him ever since, but I still do.

 

There were times where we wouldn't speak to each other for months at a time, but every time we did, that bond we made so long ago was as strong as ever. We, till this day, despite everything, know everything about each other, and can basically read each other's emotions, even though they are not stated. Well, no matter who he was dating, he showered me with affection, and love. And waited on me whenever I got with someone else. He cheated on them with me. I knew he only dated them or flirted with them because I had told him to move on.

 

I was searching for a song one day, and typed in a badn I hadn't heard much from. I instantly found the song that would be ours forever. Our bond remains undaunted. Last year, I was in a relationship, a brief one, and during the whole time, I was thinking of him. And after it ended, I tried getting ahold of him to no avail. He IM'ed me on MySpace, and I confessed my feelings for him. He was with a girl that had been waiting a year or two for him, that knew how much he loved me. As soon as I was back in the picture, I had his full attention, and showered with love. He told me to wait till she messed up, and he would dump her to be with me. He said his theory was flawed, but he wanted to show me he could be faithful to her, which, symbolically, was a way to show me he could be faithful.

 

He was faithful to me, don't get me wrong. I just believed he wasn't. The girls he would flirt with when we were separated was a real problem for us, because when we were talking about getting together, they wouldn't stop flirting with him, which lead to even more break-ups. I have had many friends and family tell me he isn't work it, that they doubr he even knows what love is. That has been bothering me for the longest time, and I think because I don't know, that I can't let go.

 

Recently, I found out that he was dating the girl that he had waiting for him for four years. They finally met in person, and went on a date together in reality. They posted the picture on theitr profiles. I seen it, and it about killed me. I wanted to be the first person from online to meet him. He was saving up the money to come visit me. Well, recent events forced his parents to move him an hour away from her. She lives in Orlando, Florida. Two hours away from me. I don't know if he really loves me... I am so confused.. Every time I am in the picture, all his attention goes to me, even though he is with her now.

 

Am I in love with him? Does he still love me? Is that true love? Should I wait for him? I have this urge to go meet him, no matter what the cost, just to make sense of how I am feeling.

[Shindig]

If he's dating other girls and jealous that you're dating other guys, run. He's bad news.