Fire Salamander Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 Do you believe talking and having conversations on the phone with a girl you've just met leads to the friend zone? Lately I've only used the phone to set something up, such as hey I'm free this weekend we should get together. However this one new girl seems like she wants to talk on the phone and doesn't want to hang up. How many women have LBJF a guy that never talked to you on the phone? Men? What are your experiences on this issue? *Notice I did not say opinions, empirical proof is the best.
Yamaha Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 If you spend hours on the phone and the conversation does not involve things of a sexual nature then you are probably a male girlfriend ( in her eyes ).
luvnpain Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 Hi. New to posting but lurk quite often, and just going to give my couple of pennies on this. It can lead to the friend zone, but not necessarily. It depends on the type of girl and what she is looking for. She could be the type to take it slow, and uses the phone convos to feel you out (my guess, cuz I do that too). It's like that show, Dating in the Dark, and the phone is the dark room. It allows you to get to know a person through ideas and not surface physical stuff, and develop chemistry on personality traits and not sexual attraction.If she is this way, it could be a turn off for her if the guy constantly brings up sex in the first few conversations like said in another post. Flirt to show interest, but don't be crazy aggressive about it. Be willing if you like her,but don't wait too much between meetings in person, and be direct about asking things. If you are curious about her phone habits, jokingly bring it up. Not in a way that sounds like a complaint, but in a way that sounds like you're interested. Like "dang girl, look how u got me talking on the phone. I'm not usually one to talk a lot by phone because I like to interact in person, but you... Look what u got me doing (laugh)." Listen to her response and take note. She ill say its her norm or that its something about you too. Now u make her feel all special and u get some insight also. Then work in there that you want to see her and set up a date soon. If she buckles, then you are already in the zone, dude. Good luck.
meerkat stew Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 Don't worry about it leading to the friendzone or not, worry about it wasting your time on someone before you know they are worth your time. Spend time you would have spent on the phone with a girl you don't really know finding another girl to ask out and add to your options. To answer the topic, it depends on your phone skills. If you talk to a woman once in a light, funny, flirty way, and she starts calling you all the time, nothing wrong with talking for a brief time. But save most of it for when you are face to face and the consequences of the closeness you two create can be capitalized on physically there and then. That's how attraction is built. Try not to dissipate it via lots of "not in person" contact between face to face times.
CLC2008 Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 Do you believe talking and having conversations on the phone with a girl you've just met leads to the friend zone? Lately I've only used the phone to set something up, such as hey I'm free this weekend we should get together. However this one new girl seems like she wants to talk on the phone and doesn't want to hang up. How many women have LBJF a guy that never talked to you on the phone? Men? What are your experiences on this issue? *Notice I did not say opinions, empirical proof is the best. I think it works out better when you save the long phone convies for when you're a couple, otherwise, it can come across as just friendly banter.
that girl Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 If you are actually dating a girl, long phone conversations can move the relationship forward. However, lots of dumb guys know a girl, but they never ask her out. They just talk to her all the time. And when nothing physical ever happen, they get pissed off and feel taken advantage of. Like she should have known that he would have no interest in talking to her if sex wasn't an option. But if you act like a friend, you don't get to be pissed when someone considers you just a friend.
dispatch3d Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 is it just one girl who won't hang up the phone and insists on talking for hours? Just give her an excuse if you have to. Tell her to meet you at some day at some time. Stop ****ing around on the phone with her . When you call her have a reason you can't talk long already made up (hey, I'm going to the gym/on the way to the gym/etc.). My experience is that phone>>>texting. I also hate texting. I've been regularly using the phone and I think it's just a lot better method of doing things.
mmk1 Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 Just to bring this post back to the top, I will never spend any significant time on the phone with a girl. Just to set something up is all. Fortunately, most girls don't want to either. Only ones that want to friendzone you or are totally in love with you. But to me, five minutes max on the phone and it better be important.
paleblue Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 I don’t believe that talking on the phone leads to the “friendzone”. people talk on the phone all the time and are in relationships. I think someone is either interested in a relationship with you, or they are not. if they do not do anything, and they are still around, they are yanking your chain. unless they actually tell you they only want friends. I am a firm believer that people will immediately express their interest in a relationship with you. and if they just want to be “friends”, they will talk to you like a buddy, but no more. if you are getting no where fast, id say move on, unless you are cool with being just friends.
mmk1 Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 I'll qualify my response at little. I would only spend an appreciable amount of time on the phone with someone who I am in an exclusive relationship with, but not before. That's why they invented texting. Girls may not like the texting thing as much but, oh well!
BS76 Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Do you believe talking and having conversations on the phone with a girl you've just met leads to the friend zone? Absolutely. Closeness builds intimacy and distance builds comfort and familiarity. If you talk on the phone too much you build that buddy comfort and squelch intimacy, which would come from being in close proximity like on a date. Talk on the phone to build a little comfort, but then limit it to setting up logistics. Same for texting. This is one of the reasons why long distance relationships are so hard to maintain.
LittleTiger Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Absolutely not! I'm in an LDR and we're 12,000 miles apart. We met online and talked on msn and phone for 9/10 weeks before we met in real life. Hottest man I've ever met, hottest sex I've ever had and those 9/10 weeks were the hottest phone conversations of my entire life (and we rarely talked about sex!)
bac Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Talking on the phone is the best if she likes it. Anything that you do for her and if she likes it leads you to getting laid. If you can not get laid with her, it is not because you are good at phone conversations.
BS76 Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Absolutely not! I'm in an LDR and we're 12,000 miles apart. We met online and talked on msn and phone for 9/10 weeks before we met in real life. Hottest man I've ever met, hottest sex I've ever had and those 9/10 weeks were the hottest phone conversations of my entire life (and we rarely talked about sex!) It's hardly prudent to adjust one's habits and/or mating strategy to suite your personal view of relationships, which quite frankly is an exception to the rule.
LittleTiger Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 It's hardly prudent to adjust one's habits and/or mating strategy to suite your personal view of relationships, which quite frankly is an exception to the rule. The OP asked for empirical proof and, as far as I can tell, I'm the only one who's actually provided it. I'm not saying what happened for me and my partner is the norm but there are no rules when it comes to relationships. I'm merely providing empirical proof that talking to a girl for a long time on the phone doesn't necessarily lead to being friend zoned.
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 I think if someone is going to friendzone you, the amount of time you spend talking on the phone won't make a difference. Conversely, whenever I have met someone and we have clicked, the phone calls just happen and they happen very frequently. Personally I love talking on the phone to a (potential) girlfriend when we have lots of chemistry. I've yet to be in a situation where I've had lots of phone contact with a woman and it led to nowhere.
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