This girl says she just wants to be friends but I don't know

[Kain Highwind]

was friend zoned pretty badly a few weeks ago ("You'll find a woman but it just won't be me") but we've talked nearly every night each week for about two or three hours or sending texts back and forth until like one.She's buying me a birthday present, saying because I paid for her at a movie, even though it was only five dollars, making me a birthday card, getting me a cake and she's painting me a picture. I asked her for the painting, but if I asked any of my other friends, they'd just think I'm crazy

 

I've been friend zoned before but after I did, it just got awkward between me and the girl. This girl says she wants to be friends but I don't know. Part of me is thinking that she's being too nice. I mean, I wouldn't talk for hours each night and do the things she's doing for me for just a friend

 

We're hanging out for my birthday and she said she'd cry if I already have what she got me

 

Last night, we hung out right after she got off work. We went to eat and spent like an hour just talking at our table outside after we got done eating. Came back home and watched a movie and she was using my legs as pillows. We chased each other through my house trying to tickle each other. I started it, but she did it back to me We're hanging out again Friday for my birthday

 

And the day after, she posted something like this on facebook "Yesterday was a good day ." The only thing she did besides work was hang out with me

 

She said she just wanted to be friends but she's doing so much.. "Friends" don't have tickle fights, do they?

[phineas]

She said she just wanted to be friends but she's doing so much.. "Friends" don't have tickle fights, do they?

 

They do at slumber parties.

 

Your going to hit meltdown territory soon if you keep spending so much time with a chick you want who just wants to be friends in return.

 

She may like you, but she can't be attracted to you if your acting like her girlfriend.

 

You need to dial back the availability you have for her.

 

You need to get yourself a hobby.

 

Date other women or hang out with other women instead of giving her all your free time.

Still give her a little time because she does sound like she could be a good friend (as long as she doesn't make you pay when you do things)

 

It probably won't get you out of the friendzone but it will help you stop crushing on her & start acting like a man instead of a gay shopping buddy.

 

Also, sell the friend thing. Treat her like a friend. Like your guy friends. Don't spend hrs a day on the phone with her. I doubt one of your buds would want to do that.

 

Once you can get yourself straight she may actually turn out to be a good friend.

[Kain Highwind]

I was actually thinking of trying to make a move Friday? Would that be alright? Like when she drops me off or leaves my house, just kiss her? Or maybe do something at the park since we're probably going there?

 

And I should probably clarify, but the first post was like a compilation of other posts from me at another board. We did the heavy talking on the phone pretty soon after but recently, we only do it like once or twice a week

Edited September 1, 2010 by Kain Highwind
Clarification

[Mad Max]

I was actually thinking of trying to make a move Friday? Would that be alright? Like when she drops me off or leaves my house, just kiss her? Or maybe do something at the park since we're probably going there?

 

And I should probably clarify, but the first post was like a compilation of other posts from me at another board. We did the heavy talking on the phone pretty soon after but recently, we only do it like once or twice a week

 

 

She said she wants to be friends. That's it. You have no chance. If lightning did strike, the only way she'd be interested is if you cut all contact and never contact her for months.

[Kain Highwind]

God I don't know what to think... All my friends are saying that she probably wants me and the other boards I'm on have said the same thing... This is the first time someone has said no and since its an entire site dedicated to stuff like this and not just a subsection.. I'm taking it seriously

 

The people saying yes greatly outnumber the people saying no but this place just holds so much weight... Dammit

[Green]

She said she wants to be friends. That's it. You have no chance. If lightning did strike, the only way she'd be interested is if you cut all contact and never contact her for months.

 

From my perspective he still has a chance. He just needs to make it clear by being romantic (kissing, touching, flirting) that he wants a romantic relationship.

 

God I don't know what to think... All my friends are saying that she probably wants me and the other boards I'm on have said the same thing... This is the first time someone has said no and since its an entire site dedicated to stuff like this and not just a subsection.. I'm taking it seriously

 

The people saying yes greatly outnumber the people saying no but this place just holds so much weight... Dammit

 

Well in the end its all up to YOU. Are you gonna live your life by advice on some msg board given by people who may or may not have any experience and who are only going on what you tell them.

 

YOU WANT THIS GIRL RIGHT? THEN GO GET HER. Do it with actions... touch... kISSSSSSSSSSSSS her. She won't be wanting to come over and spend ALONE time again unless she likes you if you are TOUCHING and KISSING HER. Remember don't be lame and say "I like you... I like you a lot"... JUST KISS HER... don't ask JUST KISS. She will know its comming and dodge it if she doesn't want to be kissed... plus if she keeps hanging out with you when you are touching and kissing her then she likes you. Girls play hard to get some times. They are very scared some times to get into relationships.

 

Oh and date more then one woman until things get seriouse (like she agrees to be your gf)

[Sphere]

When a girl "LJBF's" me, I politely decline and erase her from my life.

[Kain Highwind]

From my perspective he still has a chance. He just needs to make it clear by being romantic (kissing, touching, flirting) that he wants a romantic relationship.

 

 

 

Well in the end its all up to YOU. Are you gonna live your life by advice on some msg board given by people who may or may not have any experience and who are only going on what you tell them.

 

YOU WANT THIS GIRL RIGHT? THEN GO GET HER. Do it with actions... touch... kISSSSSSSSSSSSS her. She won't be wanting to come over and spend ALONE time again unless she likes you if you are TOUCHING and KISSING HER. Remember don't be lame and say "I like you... I like you a lot"... JUST KISS HER... don't ask JUST KISS. She will know its comming and dodge it if she doesn't want to be kissed... plus if she keeps hanging out with you when you are touching and kissing her then she likes you. Girls play hard to get some times. They are very scared some times to get into relationships.

 

Oh and date more then one woman until things get seriouse (like she agrees to be your gf)

Would kissing her when she's leaving me or dropping me off be good? (She always is the one to drive. I don't have a car) If it goes awkwardly, I could just say I just had a great time and was happy for what she did with me. Or maybe when she gives me my present?

 

I'm really bad at knowing when its the right time :/

[Mad Max]

From my perspective he still has a chance. He just needs to make it clear by being romantic (kissing, touching, flirting) that he wants a romantic relationship.

 

 

The girl herself said she wants to be friends. She's using him as an emotional tampon. While she's being friends with the OP, she's f*cking some other guy's brains out.

[Kain Highwind]

The girl herself said she wants to be friends. She's using him as an emotional tampon. While she's being friends with the OP, she's f*cking some other guy's brains out.

I know what its like to be used like that. She hasn't done that. No past boyfriends, no "This guy doesn't like me!", no "my life sucks!"

 

If anything, I've talked to her more about my problems than her (and I'ev only done it once)

[Mad Max]

I know what its like to be used like that. She hasn't done that. No past boyfriends, no "This guy doesn't like me!", no "my life sucks!"

 

 

You don't know that and she wouldn't tell you that anyway.

 

 

If anything, I've talked to her more about my problems than her (and I'ev only done it once)

 

 

Sorry dude, but you've already been friendzoned. She said it herself.

[reservoirdog1]

I was actually thinking of trying to make a move Friday? Would that be alright? Like when she drops me off or leaves my house, just kiss her? Or maybe do something at the park since we're probably going there?

Nope, DON'T do that.

 

If she was attracted to you in a romantic or sexual way, you'd know -- because she wouldn't have friendzoned you. Simple.

 

So, if you want to get out of the friendzone, you need to do things to make her feel attracted to you. Attraction isn't a choice, and you can't talk her into being attracted to you. And making a move when she's demonstrated that, right now, she's not attracted, will be awkward for both of you, and probably blow up in your face.

 

It's entirely possible that you are irrevocably friendzoned with this girl. But if you want to try changing that, there's a few things you should do.

 

1. Stop being so available. Don't initiate contact with her -- let her do it. And when she phones you, break off sometimes after a few minutes because you have to get back to something (even if you're alone and not doing anything). If she wants to hang out, don't say yes all the time. Tell her you're busy a lot of the times she asks. Make her WORK to see you.

 

2. Start dating other women. And don't brag about this to her, but don't keep it a secret either. You WANT her to find out. And if she finds out and asks you about it, DON'T apologize, or feel you have to explain. Act like you going out with other girls is a foregone conclusion. And if she pries for details, give a few but be upbeat and positive, whether the date went well or not. "Yeah, it was pretty cool, we went out and did ____" or "Yeah, nice girl, but there just wasn't a spark, ahh well, onward and upward."

 

3. When you talk to her, do NOT be pissy or sullen. EVER. Be upbeat, friendly, and funny -- like a guy with a busy, active life who has lots of things going on.

 

The purpose of all of this is to increase her level of attraction to you, to make you seem like a valuable commodity to her. And like a valuable commodity that could, very quickly, be totally beyond her reach.

 

Like I said, you may not get out of the friendzone. But even if you don't, you'll feel WAY better about yourself and will have kept your dignity and self-esteem.

Edited September 1, 2010 by reservoirdog1

[Green]

the difference between me and some of the guys giving advice in this thread is... I believe you create romantic attraction. You don't wait till a girl likes you... You make her like you by being ROMANTIC. You can't friend your way into some ones life... romance will force her to reject you if all she really wants is friendship. In the end you need to be going after more then one girl at a time. You can't get such tunnel vision for one girl who you havn't even kissed yet.

 

If it were me I'd give it a try. Just kiss her when you want... stop being scared. Better to kiss her early in the night IMO. Just hug her... make the hug last a little longer then usual.. and KISS HER

[Mad Max]

the difference between me and some of the guys giving advice in this thread is... I believe you create romantic attraction. You don't wait till a girl likes you... You make her like you by being ROMANTIC. You can't friend your way into some ones life... romance will force her to reject you if all she really wants is friendship. In the end you need to be going after more then one girl at a time. You can't get such tunnel vision for one girl who you havn't even kissed yet.

 

If it were me I'd give it a try. Just kiss her when you want... stop being scared. Better to kiss her early in the night IMO. Just hug her... make the hug last a little longer then usual.. and KISS HER

 

 

You can't make someone like you, but if the physical attraction isn't there, then romantic attraction doesn't really matter.

[Kain Highwind]

the difference between me and some of the guys giving advice in this thread is... I believe you create romantic attraction. You don't wait till a girl likes you... You make her like you by being ROMANTIC. You can't friend your way into some ones life... romance will force her to reject you if all she really wants is friendship. In the end you need to be going after more then one girl at a time. You can't get such tunnel vision for one girl who you havn't even kissed yet.

 

If it were me I'd give it a try. Just kiss her when you want... stop being scared. Better to kiss her early in the night IMO. Just hug her... make the hug last a little longer then usual.. and KISS HER

Exactly what I think. People can change and we barely hung out before I was rejected. We've hung out much more often since

[Green]

You can't make someone like you, but if the physical attraction isn't there, then romantic attraction doesn't really matter.

 

It's not about "making" some one like you but rather building a relationship through the effort of getting to know a woman and her getting to know you.

 

Exactly what I think. People can change and we barely hung out before I was rejected. We've hung out much more often since

 

I was rejected by my current gf the first time I asked her out but I didn't give up and a few weeks later we were gf and bf.

 

There really is no such thing as the friendzone. If you aproach this as a romance and make your intentions known by KISSING, FLIRTING, TOUCHING she will either keep hanging out with you and things will progress or she'll reject you. In the end you might have to reject her if she wants an open relationship or whatever. But things are still early right now and to expect a girl to run open arms to you is silly. So what if she technicaly rejected you once... she still wants to hang out with you.. she likes you on some level I SAY EXPLORE IT... Its what you want to do or you wouldn't be here asking for advice. GO FOR IT.

[Sphere]

the difference between me and some of the guys giving advice in this thread is... I believe you create romantic attraction. You don't wait till a girl likes you... You make her like you by being ROMANTIC. You can't friend your way into some ones life... romance will force her to reject you if all she really wants is friendship. In the end you need to be going after more then one girl at a time. You can't get such tunnel vision for one girl who you havn't even kissed yet.

 

If it were me I'd give it a try. Just kiss her when you want... stop being scared. Better to kiss her early in the night IMO. Just hug her... make the hug last a little longer then usual.. and KISS HER

 

Green you are just sublime. I can see why the women of the USA like you and if Gamma1 is reading, take note of this man, he is what you need to be if you want to attract a woman.

[Kain Highwind]

It's not about "making" some one like you but rather building a relationship through the effort of getting to know a woman and her getting to know you.

 

 

 

I was rejected by my current gf the first time I asked her out but I didn't give up and a few weeks later we were gf and bf.

 

There really is no such thing as the friendzone. If you aproach this as a romance and make your intentions known by KISSING, FLIRTING, TOUCHING she will either keep hanging out with you and things will progress or she'll reject you. In the end you might have to reject her if she wants an open relationship or whatever. But things are still early right now and to expect a girl to run open arms to you is silly. So what if she technicaly rejected you once... she still wants to hang out with you.. she likes you on some level I SAY EXPLORE IT... Its what you want to do or you wouldn't be here asking for advice. GO FOR IT.

Amen

 

Just gotta worry about when/how to kiss her. Can't really do it out of nowhere and it can't be like too cliche... This is what I'm really bad at. Making a move

[Green]

Amen

 

Just gotta worry about when/how to kiss her. Can't really do it out of nowhere and it can't be like too cliche... This is what I'm really bad at. Making a move

 

the trick to making a move is to just DO IT. Really the only way you can screw it up is by being scared and stressed and talking yourself into inaction... ACTION! thats what you need.

 

Remember ENJOY this its fun you're with a girl you like alone spending time. Look foward to kissing/touching don't dread it. Stop investing all your emotions into whether or not it will work out... and just have FUN.

[Cracker Jack]

I agree with Green. Honestly, all she could do at this point is either reject your kiss or accept it. Just go for it.

[robdrm32]

I agree with green. Just go for it, if she rejects you oh well that's that.

 

As her if she likes surprises, and regardless of her answer plant one on her lips. You will get your answer.

[Kain Highwind]

I just remembered something, the yearly fair is gonna be in two weeks. I've got connections that can get us in for free. Shoudl I wait for the move then? Say... Ferris wheel?

 

Or too cliche?

[Green]

I just remembered something, the yearly fair is gonna be in two weeks. I've got connections that can get us in for free. Shoudl I wait for the move then? Say... Ferris wheel?

 

Or too cliche?

 

Thats your fear talking... KISS HER THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE HER no more waiting

[Kain Highwind]

Well my plans have gone sort of awry. Probably just gonna go eat and then go back to the house and watch Titanic. I'm thinking of just trying to cuddle with her while watching it and kissing her either while cuddling or when she leaves

 

Good idea?

[phineas]

Titanic?

 

/face palm.

 

How about Weapon X?

 

The closest thing to a chick flick I can stomach is Kate & Leopold.