Would you date someone who hated being their own race/ethnicity?

[Labster12]

Like I know of two Black guys who are dating White girls, thing is they hate Black girls and are open about their hatred. Like one guy (know him from school) was sitting at a restaurant, I was in line waiting for my order and he was with his girlfriend (a White girl). He was going on and on and on about Black women and how Black women do this and that, how they don't know how to treat a man and on and on and on. There was elderly Black lady who was just staring at him with her mouth open and he was going on about how Black women are so bad.

 

One girl I know is Korean and she openly expresses her hatred for Asian guys. She goes on about how Asian guys are weak, feminine, don't know how to be alpha males or anything like that. Well she brings up that hatred in conversations and one time she even tried to make her friend (a Black girl) break up with her Vietnamese boyfriend. Her hatred towards Asian guys is strong, she has blue eye contacts and has dyed her hair blonde.

 

My question to you guys is, would you date someone who hated being their own race/ethnicity?

 

Personally I am guilty for saying a lot of garbage about the Indian culture, thing is it has its conservative and uptight sides but hey, I love the food and I love Indian girls, and I would not take the time to talk down about them.

[Rorschach]

Hmmm, I'm going to say no but more because I don't like being around anybody who is so negative that they just talk about hating things. I'd rather talk about things you like than things you don't like, it just says alot about a persons character.

 

That said I don't think there is anything wrong with disliking ones own culture, everybody is entitled to their own opinions, I for one don't find black women to be very attractive (with a decent number of exceptions, like that hot black 20 something who works behind the counter at the planet fitness ), and I don't see how it would be more or less acceptable for me to have that opinion based on me being a white guy.

 

So no I wouldn't date somebody who talked like that, not because of the opinion, but because of the fact that they talked about it so much.

[naya1]

well..

yeah i would. i see it as a challenge. maybe i can change their mind.

i used to have a racist friend..at times it kinda hurt when he says stuff but i always stuck around cause i knew i could change his mind. i confront him in his face and he said he didnt know the stuff he says are offensive..

anyway that korean girl is wrong..most asian males i met are alpha. maybe shes not pretty enough to attract her own kind. giggle. jk.

theres goodness in every race u know..

btw labster why are u so into this race thing...

[Cracker Jack]

Nah. If they constantly whine about members of their own race, they're clearly negative in general. I'm good.

[Labster12]

well..

yeah i would. i see it as a challenge. maybe i can change their mind.

i used to have a racist friend..at times it kinda hurt when he says stuff but i always stuck around cause i knew i could change his mind. i confront him in his face and he said he didnt know the stuff he says are offensive..

anyway that korean girl is wrong..most asian males i met are alpha. maybe shes not pretty enough to attract her own kind. giggle. jk.

theres goodness in every race u know..

btw labster why are u so into this race thing...

 

race is an interesting topic to talk about, I was going to post a longer topic not relevant to race at all

[zxvf]

Speaking from my (immigrant Asian but White washed) point of view, personal opinions, and ideas overhead from elsewhere in high school and university.

 

I think one of the reasons that there are lots of self discrimination is simply because they've seen better and wants to be better. As I've said in another post (here) is that they see the bad things about their own race, and perhaps they do not like that characteristic so they will go for something else.

 

Now if that Korea girl just simply hates all Asians, because they are Asians, then she's simply a racist. Personally I dislike a couple of characteristics from my Asian classmates, but at the same time, I also have Asian friends.

 

Where as the black male was simply more liberal or haven't met any black female that they might liked.

 

I think the idea of a none white person dating a white person is the holy grail of things. They are more open, relaxed, and generally fun to be around, and they are less judgmental of things. (Oh! so you don't have a fleet of BMW, or a PHD in Mathematics, and a MD, or your own 10 bedroom 12 bathroom apartment, but you are damn loyal, devoted and likes me a lot? okay, sure I will date you.)

 

Now to the question, I wouldn't mind dating someone that dislikes their race because they see the bad side of things, but no, I wouldn't if they were an (oxymoron) racist. Like that Korean girl. Perhaps, she is simply not attractive enough, or is just the bigot type of person.

 

Although this is none related, I think that the bed room experience is also different between a white female and asian female.

[Stung]

I would date someone who had some reasonable, well-thought-out problems with their own culture, or another culture. I would not date someone who hated people of their own race, or any other race. There's a huge difference. And I definitely wouldn't date somebody stupid and rude and low-class enough to go 'on and on' in a racist and sexist way, especially if they were offending some poor little old lady just trying to have a nice day, or especially if they were going around trying to break up happy relationships that were none of their business. What a pair of jackholes.

Edited September 1, 2010 by Stung

[Woggle]

No. I went on a few dates with a black woman that hated black men and she it turned me off. After some drama with other races she has probably turned into a full blown misandrist since switching races will not change her bad relationship decisions.

[Feelin Frisky]

Would I sex up a black chick that found the "black personae" a turn off? You betcha. Done it. Would do it again. That goes for other ethnicities too--if they want to step outside the comfort zone of falling in line with conformity to the popular personae, that's a good thing IMO. Tells me they're good with independence. I don't aspire to be Mr. Whitey Irish guy, I'm just living a life as a male human being.

Edited September 1, 2010 by Feelin Frisky

[Mme. Chaucer]

People who "HATE" their own race would not be attractive to me any more than a person who "HATES" another race would be.

 

Being into dating races other than ones own, or not being enchanted with ones own culture are not the same as "HATING."

 

I hate haters.

[aerogurl87]

No I wouldn't but my ex best friend was like this. When asked why she would never date a black guy her reasons include them being lazy, ghetto, and jobless. All of those characteristics remarkably describe her boyfriend who is white, lol. Well except the jobless one and that's only because he has to pay rent now, although he's trying to get out of that by moving back home to live with his mom rent free again. But yeah I see it as a turn off and I'd never date someone like that. Luckily my boyfriend and I just seem to have preferences for each other's race although we've both dated people of our own race.

[Fay]

OP, dating someone with self-hatred would be crazy as piss and, I think, would not say much about the person's potential for emotional stability.

 

But what you described is different. It's not the same thing to hate your ethnicity, and being that ethnicity, as to hate the tendencies of a particular gender of that ethnicity as those tendencies relate to your desire to mate with them. I think I could call that "ethnomisogyny" or "ethnomisandry", and thanks, because one day I may write my thesis on this well-known but yet-unexplored phenomenon.

 

It's one thing for a black American woman to say, "I hate African-American everything. I hate everything we stand for." But it's entirely different to say "I'm black and I love my heritage, but I hate the way the opposite sex here acts towards me." I mean, that's kind of like saying everyone should stick to their own race for mating purposes and should learn to love the actions of the opposite sex of their race, because that's all they're expected to partner with. That's kinda backwards, don't you think?

 

Would it be analogous to say that I wouldn't be against my own mostly Anglo/Celtic heritage if I were to prefer Mediterranean, Indian, African or Asian men's personalities for partnership?

[Chrome Barracuda]

Have i hated black women? Yep.

 

Do i hate all black women. Nope.

 

Because your arent supposed to let the ghetto lazy bitches ruin it for the good ones, you feel me??

 

I'm ashamed that the ghetto ones always find a way to bitch and complain about black men and yet they will end up sleeping with that same no good for nothing nucklehead, next week thinking she will change him.

 

But that is not limited to racial sterotypes, that is across the board.

 

I have not dated any non black female who has hated her own race. it would make me feel bad i was dating a racist.

 

Those type of people have issues.

[runner]

this thread reminds me of that one dave chappelle skit ...

 

best part is where he divorces his wife for being a n*** lover

 

okay sorry for thread-jacking. carry on.

[Labster12]

See for me that is just wrong when you judge a race or gender group based on stereotypes.

 

Women say Asian men are not alphas, they are weak and nerdy, heck my good friend is Japanese and he currently lives in Washington and plays for the football team at his high school and everything, plus he speaks clearly.

 

So it is wrong to exclude someone because of that. Indian women can be really judgmental at times, they are really picky about education and that is their right but I won't go around saying all Indian women are like that, heck if there were some in my area who were decent I would go after them. I would not bash Indian women because I came out of one and I just hate it when people use stereotypes to judge their whole group, despite my negative experiences with Indian women I do not neglect the fact there are good ones out there.

[Fay]

See for me that is just wrong when you judge a race or gender group based on stereotypes.

 

I'm gonna go out on a crazy limb here and say that stereotypes (of everything) exist for a reason. They save us the time of having to judge things on a case-by-case basis, which would take longer than our lifespans. Stereotypes are usually the behavior that the larger part of a group has exhibited. OK, so if you were shopping for a fish, and you knew that a certain pet store tended to sell fish who die a week after you bring them home, you would probably not even try to buy your fish from that store, right? Same thing on a bigger scale when it comes to people. If I knew that Polish men tended to be kinder and smarter, and Belgians tended to be meaner and dumber, I would prefer to move to Poland when I was in the market for a mate. Of course people vary widely, and a population is not meant to be representative of an individual, but you improve your chances by drawing from the pool most likely to give you your desired result.

 

So it is wrong to exclude someone because of that. Indian women can be really judgmental at times, they are really picky about education and that is their right but I won't go around saying all Indian women are like that, heck if there were some in my area who were decent I would go after them. I would not bash Indian women because I came out of one and I just hate it when people use stereotypes to judge their whole group, despite my negative experiences with Indian women I do not neglect the fact there are good ones out there.

 

I feel I can speak on this without being lynched, since I am a quarter Indian. The culture in India is one of materialism and self-service to the max, and they value everything that Westerners hate themselves for valuing, except times ten. Racism? Check. Dravidians are practically excluded from the marriage pool, and matchmaking sites ask you the exact tone of your skin and provide an option to exclude people with certain skin shades from your matches. Hello, Fair and Lovely cream! Money? Check. Parents won't even try to sugarcoat the statement, "He does not make enough money for you to marry him." Men's families are still known to do bride-burning if the woman's family does not provide enough dowry money.

 

The Indian culture is inherently remarkably shallow, but I'd be hard-pressed to say that it's necessarily good or bad. It's sad, yeah, of course, from my Western perspective, but it's just the way things are.

[Gallaxia]

Could I date someone who hated their own race? No. Disliked? Maybe. It'd depend on the circumstances. If it's something uncontrollable such as features, something superficial, then no. If it's something more flexible, like culture, then maybe.

 

Stereotypes were designed to get a broad often damaging message out quickly not correctly. It's the fearful, fear-inducing lazy man's thought process. You always find the stereotype traits get shattered after spending some time. It's one's willingness to spend a little extra time to find out that makes the difference.

 

As someone else said, All out hating one's own race? is just too much negativity.

[SilentVoice]

this thread reminds me of that one dave chappelle skit ...

 

best part is where he divorces his wife for being a n*** lover

 

okay sorry for thread-jacking. carry on.

:lmao:

[Labster12]

Oh so according to fay's mentality,

 

A girl shouldn't date Asian guys because they are all "small" down there, she shouldn't date Black guys either because they are all thugs and will probably end up in prison, she shouldn't date Latinos because they might be illegal immigrants or gang members, she shouldn't date White guys because they may be serial killers or pedophiles (most serial killers and pedophiles are White) and racist as well, hmmm, narrowed down the options.

 

I do not agree with putting a race tag on behavior, sure TRADITIONAL Indians may be bad but the more Westernized ones are decent people.

[Fay]

Stereotypes were designed to get a broad often damaging message out quickly not correctly. It's the fearful, fear-inducing lazy man's thought process. You always find the stereotype traits get shattered after spending some time. It's one's willingness to spend a little extra time to find out that makes the difference.

 

Well, I mean, don't get me wrong. It's one thing to say, "Here in Uzbekistan the men don't often make good husbands; I think I'll go to Kazakhstan to find a mate instead." It's a whole other thing to say, "I know this one guy from Uzbekistan, but he comes from bad husband stock, so screw him." Stereotypes are often accurate for groups, but rarely for individuals... And for a thing as life-impacting as choosing a partner, of course it's silly to take cognitive shortcuts like stereotyping...

[Fay]

Oh so according to fay's mentality,

 

A girl shouldn't date Asian guys because they are all "small" down there, she shouldn't date Black guys either because they are all thugs and will probably end up in prison, she shouldn't date Latinos because they might be illegal immigrants or gang members, she shouldn't date White guys because they may be serial killers or pedophiles (most serial killers and pedophiles are White) and racist as well, hmmm, narrowed down the options.

 

That's not what I said at ALL. That's ridiculous.

 

Go take a logic class.

[Labster12]

That's not what I said at ALL. That's ridiculous.

 

Go take a logic class.

 

"I'm gonna go out on a crazy limb here and say that stereotypes (of everything) exist for a reason. They save us the time of having to judge things on a case-by-case basis, which would take longer than our lifespans. Stereotypes are usually the behavior that the larger part of a group has exhibited."

 

Yea, lets save time, let just stereotype everyone as one. BTW, smilies imply that you know you were wrong but are in denial about it.

[jean-luc sisko]

Like I know of two Black guys who are dating White girls, thing is they hate Black girls and are open about their hatred. Like one guy (know him from school) was sitting at a restaurant, I was in line waiting for my order and he was with his girlfriend (a White girl). He was going on and on and on about Black women and how Black women do this and that, how they don't know how to treat a man and on and on and on. There was elderly Black lady who was just staring at him with her mouth open and he was going on about how Black women are so bad.

 

One girl I know is Korean and she openly expresses her hatred for Asian guys. She goes on about how Asian guys are weak, feminine, don't know how to be alpha males or anything like that. Well she brings up that hatred in conversations and one time she even tried to make her friend (a Black girl) break up with her Vietnamese boyfriend. Her hatred towards Asian guys is strong, she has blue eye contacts and has dyed her hair blonde.

 

My question to you guys is, would you date someone who hated being their own race/ethnicity?

 

Personally I am guilty for saying a lot of garbage about the Indian culture, thing is it has its conservative and uptight sides but hey, I love the food and I love Indian girls, and I would not take the time to talk down about them.

 

I think it would reveal deeper issues.

 

I wouldn't touch somebody like that with a bargepole.

[meerkat stew]

I don't want to date anyone who talks about things like race and ethnicity all the time. It's boring as hell. There are much better things to talk about like monster truck rallies, Mexican wrestling and roller derby.

[jean-luc sisko]

stereotypes don't make sense since they aren't perfect, and your assumption per the stereotype may not be true. The only way one can ever truly know somebody is to spend time to get to know them. The need to stereotype is just pop culture, nothing more.