Author pandagirl Posted September 2, 2010 Author Posted September 2, 2010 Thank you Panda ...you're completely right.. I just wish I could just fast-forward this time! I'm going to let him contact me..and if he doesn't, well I guess he doesn't (wow that was hard to say!) It definitely is incredibly heartbreaking when love isn't enough...he told me yesterday that he will always love me and he will never forget about me...but at the same time it is so frustrating hearing that because it's like if he feels that strong for me then what are we doing? I wish love was enough :/ I know, we're supposed to talk next week, but I feel like I don't want to call him and make him call me... If someone isn't in the right place emotionally and mentally to give themselves to a relationship, then it won't work. He's stressed and unhappy, as my ex is, I think to cope with everything, he's closed himself off and put himself into a hole. The thing is, I get it. How can you be happy with someone else, if you're not happy yourself?
Hopelesslyforgotten Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 I don't think your ex is happy with the break up. I'm sure it hurts him, too, and he misses you. He's probably confused -- knows the breakup is for the best, but doesn't want to lose you either. When he says "I don't know," he probably really doesn't know. Don't talk to him for a bit. Both of you need some time to yourself. When you're more clearheaded, you can talk about your relationship more calmly. I don't feel like my ex and I are done yet, but I have to act like it is for now. He made the choice to let me go. I know he loves me and I know under the right circumstances, we do work amazingly. It sucks. It's killing me not to call him right now for our goodnight phone call... Thank you so much Panda....talking with you about this situation that you can relate to really does make me feel better. I truthfully don't think you and your ex are done yet either....especially that he said that he hurt so much to talk to you...I think time of NC will make him realize quick. But you're right though, he did let you go...so you now have to take care of yourself. I COMPLETELY know how you feel about the goodnight call. That has been one of the roughest things for me. We used to talk before he went to work, after work, then right before bed...it's one of the things I miss so much. But I am here for you! I know how hard it is not to call! If you feel any temptation, post and we will talk through it!!
Hopelesslyforgotten Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 I know, we're supposed to talk next week, but I feel like I don't want to call him and make him call me... If someone isn't in the right place emotionally and mentally to give themselves to a relationship, then it won't work. He's stressed and unhappy, as my ex is, I think to cope with everything, he's closed himself off and put himself into a hole. The thing is, I get it. How can you be happy with someone else, if you're not happy yourself? Yeah, i would want him to call me also. But it's frustating because I know how stubborn my ex can be and i may never get a response.. You are definitely right about being emotionally and mentally open. I really feel like my ex just was so overwhelmed with everything it is easier to just 'hide' like you said. I just wish someone would kick him...and he would just open his eyes to what's going on!
Author pandagirl Posted September 2, 2010 Author Posted September 2, 2010 Thank you so much Panda....talking with you about this situation that you can relate to really does make me feel better. I truthfully don't think you and your ex are done yet either....especially that he said that he hurt so much to talk to you...I think time of NC will make him realize quick. But you're right though, he did let you go...so you now have to take care of yourself. I COMPLETELY know how you feel about the goodnight call. That has been one of the roughest things for me. We used to talk before he went to work, after work, then right before bed...it's one of the things I miss so much. But I am here for you! I know how hard it is not to call! If you feel any temptation, post and we will talk through it!! It helps me too. haha I dunno if my ex will want to give another go at this. I think it's become too much for him (he has a selfish streak). I'm not banking on it. If anything, the only way I can see us working again if when he moves back, but that isn't for a bit. I know he cares about me deeply. I told him today that I still love him and that I hope we can work it out with some time apart. I told him we lost what we were, but that we can work, but that I will also accept whatever happens. That was basically my attempt at throwing it out there (in a un-begging way) that I would like us to be together someday. All he said to that was, "You know I still love you." meh?
Hopelesslyforgotten Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 It helps me too. haha I dunno if my ex will want to give another go at this. I think it's become too much for him (he has a selfish streak). I'm not banking on it. If anything, the only way I can see us working again if when he moves back, but that isn't for a bit. I know he cares about me deeply. I told him today that I still love him and that I hope we can work it out with some time apart. I told him we lost what we were, but that we can work, but that I will also accept whatever happens. That was basically my attempt at throwing it out there (in a un-begging way) that I would like us to be together someday. All he said to that was, "You know I still love you." meh? Long distance definitely can distort a relationship...and can turn something so great into something so bleh! It's frustrating to see what time is going to bring! When does he come back? The only reason my ex was going to come back here was because of me...he's back up w/ his friends and family and I feel like i almost can't compare/compete to what he has up there.. I wish I would have said what you said to my ex! I think I definitely came off more needy then I should have....and i really may have just pushed him more away... It drives me crazy to get that type of response! That's like my ex saying "I will always love you and blah blah!" It's like so....what does that mean??
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