bney Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 ok here goes! my boyfriend and I have been seeing eachother for a while...everything was good in our relationship...well not everything. everytime i try talking to him about something he says im looking to argue...far from the truth. anyway. we go out, we talk, we walk....you know all of the cute ****! one main problem I have had with him was the sex. OMG! the guy literally can't last for 3 minutes. he gets his and that's it. I have become so sexually frustrated with him that it makes no sense. I have told him time and time again how i felt about it...now i'm going to get a little personal with you guys on here. I'm the type of lady who will please her man. if i know you like something i'm going to make it my business to make sure you're happy.... ok, my ex boyfriend like most men loves oral sex. (o god, can't believe i'm sharing this) so when it comes down to handling business i make sure I please the one eye monster:laugh: and mind you i like to be please orally like he does...do he do it?? no. (sorry if it's long....i need advice) and he have been telling me he will do it because that's not something that he's used to...****, me either but i do it to please his ass. ok...so yesterday we had 3 minute sex yet again. when all was said and done i told him that the sex was bad (different choice 0f words) and it was. i told him i don't think he can last longer and he said to me "yes i can" why did this man then name people i can ask such as his daughters mom...aka his ex wife. i was soooooo insulted by that. i know he didn't really expect me to ask these girls he named but the fact that he can tell me that he lasted long with them but he give me the wam bam thank you mam. i felt like pure ****. I'm supposed to be the girl he wants to marry and he has my name tattooed on his arm (dummy) he basically broke up with me yesterday because i was becoming a nag. i'm frustrated sexually with him. what was i to do? sit there and let last? i know i can nag...bt i will nag when i feel i'm not being heard....ok...advice please!!! thank you.
PegNosePete Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 I think you both handled the situation quite badly. Men get offended if you just tell them the sex is bad. But he also should not have said the things about asking his ex! He should see his doctor about his premature ejaculation.
Lemontang Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 A lot of guys hate to admit it, but there could be a number of issue's be it psychologically or physiologically and it could be a case of trying to find a way through it rather than around it. Do your homework, google etc... but research it so that when you talk to him about it, let him know you care enough to make it better not just for you but for him. Nothing kills a guys confidence more than saying he can't last. Ask him to see a doctor, they can normally prescribe medication to assist in longevity, but one of the biggest medicines is practice. From personal experience some girls I'll go all night where they'll think there the ones doing something wrong, but others I'll be lucky to last 10 minutes, but it depends on the girl and the actions involved. The more you go about it though the more he'll desensitize to it, and no I don't mean he'll get bored with it, he'll just be so used to certain actions he'll be able to control it more, because every girl has a slightly different technique. But we're also talking about you here as well, and when his confidence is back he'll be more likely to try the things you want from him as well. Hope this gives you some insight to move forward and help him out, which will in turn help you....worse comes to worse get him to call Ron Jeremy, he'll give him some tips.
Author bney Posted September 1, 2010 Author Posted September 1, 2010 A lot of guys hate to admit it, but there could be a number of issue's be it psychologically or physiologically and it could be a case of trying to find a way through it rather than around it. Do your homework, google etc... but research it so that when you talk to him about it, let him know you care enough to make it better not just for you but for him. Nothing kills a guys confidence more than saying he can't last. Ask him to see a doctor, they can normally prescribe medication to assist in longevity, but one of the biggest medicines is practice. From personal experience some girls I'll go all night where they'll think there the ones doing something wrong, but others I'll be lucky to last 10 minutes, but it depends on the girl and the actions involved. The more you go about it though the more he'll desensitize to it, and no I don't mean he'll get bored with it, he'll just be so used to certain actions he'll be able to control it more, because every girl has a slightly different technique. But we're also talking about you here as well, and when his confidence is back he'll be more likely to try the things you want from him as well. Hope this gives you some insight to move forward and help him out, which will in turn help you....worse comes to worse get him to call Ron Jeremy, he'll give him some tips. you know you're right. the thing is i really don't think he have a problem... i personally think he's just all for self when it comes to sex. and he's so quick to tell me about his past with other females. it hurts because if he loved me so much he wouldn't discuss that with me. the man can last when he's drunk and we have only had drunk sex once. not only do i get 3 minutes and nothing more...i have to do all f the work when it comes to sex and that includes being on top. i have no problems with pleasing but i want to be pleased as well. the man don't even try to get me aroused...when he's ready its just like drop the panties and make it happen. i would ask him if he have a problem in a gentle way but he doesn't always open up to me. plus when i try talking to him he never wants to hear me...honestly, i do have a way with my words and i HAVE to work on it, because the people i love are way more important then an ego. i thank you for your advice because he may have a problem that i don't know about.
Hop_prophet Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 I don't think it was handled in the best way either and I can relate to this on both ends. First off, I think he is a lucky guy. The fact that you are making it a priority to please him is super important in a relationship. My gf rarely makes the effort with me anymore and it is killing our relationship on my end. Anything you can do along these lines goes a really long way. Unfortunately we rarely have sex anymore because I feel she just doesn't want to and then I just end up trying to get it over with quickly and not even trying to last. He sounds selfish and he definitely does not have the same desire to please you and is like my gf in that manner. I can empathize with you on that. It sucks and I really don't know if you can change that about him. Maybe if you let down your defences and ask him if there is something more you can do to improve the sex then he will reciprocate. However, telling him point blank that he can't last is the one sure way to make this even worse. I've had erectile issues in the past and some problems lasting in certain situations and criticism just makes it worse. I will start to second guess myself and that affects performance. You want to build him up and make him feel confident. Focus on the things that he is doing well and guide him in the right direction. It sounds like you have done that somewhat in regards to oral. The fact that he won't even try in that area is unfair and I can see why you are so frustrated. I really hope things improve for you. I've reached the point of no return I think and you really don't want it to get to that point.
mitchell Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 I say forget about this guy and move on. He's a lousy lover and has no interest in getting better and pleasing you. That sort of selfishness will never go away. You deserve better. Just like you try to please your man, you deserve a lover who can last longer and give you the sex you crave. He should be thrilled to go down on you and give you lots of orgasms.
Author bney Posted September 1, 2010 Author Posted September 1, 2010 I don't think it was handled in the best way either and I can relate to this on both ends. First off, I think he is a lucky guy. The fact that you are making it a priority to please him is super important in a relationship. My gf rarely makes the effort with me anymore and it is killing our relationship on my end. Anything you can do along these lines goes a really long way. Unfortunately we rarely have sex anymore because I feel she just doesn't want to and then I just end up trying to get it over with quickly and not even trying to last. He sounds selfish and he definitely does not have the same desire to please you and is like my gf in that manner. I can empathize with you on that. It sucks and I really don't know if you can change that about him. Maybe if you let down your defences and ask him if there is something more you can do to improve the sex then he will reciprocate. However, telling him point blank that he can't last is the one sure way to make this even worse. I've had erectile issues in the past and some problems lasting in certain situations and criticism just makes it worse. I will start to second guess myself and that affects performance. You want to build him up and make him feel confident. Focus on the things that he is doing well and guide him in the right direction. It sounds like you have done that somewhat in regards to oral. The fact that he won't even try in that area is unfair and I can see why you are so frustrated. I really hope things improve for you. I've reached the point of no return I think and you really don't want it to get to that point. thank you for your response and yu understanding as well. i know that i should have approached the situation with a little more class, the funny thing is i really don't think he cares that i said that. when i mention his sex drive to him he always says 'babe, trust me when we get our own apartment we will do more" and as far as oral sex goes it will never happen. i don't think the man is even interested in orally pleasing me...on top of that if he couldn't perform in a way that's pleasing to me why don't he give me what i want to satisfy that inner sting? he's just selfish. sex is not everything a relationship but it's a big enough part. and if i'm going to give my body to this man i would like to know that i can get mine as well. and when i try to touch him sexually to get him started he pushes me away. i feel rejected by him.
Recommended Posts