Hopelesslyforgotten Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 Ok, so my ex boyfriend and I decided to breakup...it was long distance...but then we still maintained some sort of texting contact (I know, the number 1 no-no)....and now I think I have lost ALL chances with this working out. I was seriously panicking b/c I didn't want to loose him. One night, I got really upset and just texted him everything how I felt...I know BAD! Then yesterday, long story short...his phone 'calls' me..for me only to hear him with another girl (which was apparently him hanging out w/ his friend and his wife). BUT I lost it! Like panic attack lost it! So I ended up texting him asking wtf was going on...just bad things b/c I was FREAKING out. Anyways he explains to me what happened, and said he was getting tired of my overractions. He said it would be best to not talk so "we can both cool off"... I asked him what he thought about us getting back together and this is what he said "i really don't know if we will or not...but things aren't looking too good". And then I responded that i'll just stop hoping that we will...and he said "maybe...but like I said I don't know". It seems that he doesn't want this to end but I know that me not giving him his time REALLY f*cked things up more. So I know it's time to really do NC... and sadly I AM still hanging on that there is hope... I know im an idiot for thinking so but it sucks Just any thoughts on the situation would be helpful...my head is not clear and my thinking is so off right now.
sandra Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 Hopelessly forgotten, leave him alone. If he wants you he'll come after you. Just try and forget him and move on with your life. I'm also going through the same situation and I know how hard it to let go. I think men feel empowered when women show them how they feel about them. He knows you want to be with him bad, that's why he's acting that way. Just go NC and don't wait for his calls or texts. That sure did drive me crazy. If he calls, don't answer right away. Make him wait a day or two and then figure out if you want to call back or ignore him for good. I'm not an expert in these issues, but I think that you can't make anyone love you. So just stay away and work on yourself. Have fun. Life is too short to be worrying about stuff like that.
Author Hopelesslyforgotten Posted September 1, 2010 Author Posted September 1, 2010 Thanks Sandra...the whole situation just sucks. But you're right....if he does want to be with me, he'll come after me. And the empowerment....I definitely agree. I think I gave him too much power b/c he knows exactly how I feel and exactly what I would give up to be with him. Ugh, men drive me crazy!
Trovador Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 I still think that NC is for moving on not a game to get the other party suddenly interested in us and if this were going to happen it would be superficial, the result of a tactic, is that what you want? So, what I suggest is to take things easy, call him less, show him that you somehow are handling your insecurity issues, give him some space and give yourself some space too, try other activities, but do it naturally, because you want to improve yourself, not because of him... MAKE HIM TO MISS YOU... but not your old self but a new one, one that read a book today, went to the gym, helped some people... MAKE YOURSELF AN INTERESTING PERSON, invest time and money on yourself, on your clothes, on your mind... you will soon discover that you enjoy these changes just because, not because of him... and if he doesn't appreciate the new you, you will be ready to move on and enjoy life without him... good luck!
Author Hopelesslyforgotten Posted September 7, 2010 Author Posted September 7, 2010 I still think that NC is for moving on not a game to get the other party suddenly interested in us and if this were going to happen it would be superficial, the result of a tactic, is that what you want? So, what I suggest is to take things easy, call him less, show him that you somehow are handling your insecurity issues, give him some space and give yourself some space too, try other activities, but do it naturally, because you want to improve yourself, not because of him... MAKE HIM TO MISS YOU... but not your old self but a new one, one that read a book today, went to the gym, helped some people... MAKE YOURSELF AN INTERESTING PERSON, invest time and money on yourself, on your clothes, on your mind... you will soon discover that you enjoy these changes just because, not because of him... and if he doesn't appreciate the new you, you will be ready to move on and enjoy life without him... good luck! Thanks Trovador! I appreciate your response! My ex and I haven't talked for 6 days....but I just broke the NC with a text.... The time of NC really hasn't helped me, and you're right... I think I was using NC as a means to get him to miss me and be interested in me again. Wrong idea. I just feel like we didn't have any closure...it was left so open-ended...maybe that's why I felt NC would help him miss me and bring him back. But you're right Trovador...I need to do this for me, not him. I just wish I was strong enough to feel like I can do this for me.
fabio10 Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Hey hun chin up I know exactly how you feel I was/am still half in the same boat read some of my posts and you'l notice a change as time goes on! When your in a situation like you and me are you are like a horse with blinkers on all you think about is how to win them back, what did I do wrong, what can I do to get them back, what happens if I dont get them back etc sound familar ??? Us men can be fools but we really need to lose something before we want it again ! Go NC for real this time delete his number write it down somewhere or give it to a good friend so you have to ask for it ! You completely ignore him for a month no matter what !!! And if after a month you want to text him do but just be light hearted and when he writes back dont reply for 2days and tell him you are generally busy, pick yourself up go partying with the girls and avoid your old haunts where you used to hang out with him. Don't worry things will work out but play it super cool ! thats rich coming from me cause I did the same as you if not worse if you care to read my story but boy if i could turn back the clock !
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