Author shallz Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 That's the whole thing, I think I'm reading into what she said too much. I dont know if they were hints for me to call her, wanting to hang out again, or just being friendly you know? She wouldnt just get her feelings back for me b/c Ive changed my persona and living arrangement. If I dont hear from her next week, it will be another kick to the stomach. My female friend told me that from what "the ex" said, it screams out I want to hang out again and second guessing. Then again, I cant get my hopes up for that and get hurt again. don ho, I will def wait for her to contact me, but I feel maybe she thinks I moved on and that I dont want to be with her anymore. so she's thinking, "okay, he's doing his own thing now, he's fine so I'm just going to let him be".
Don Ho Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 don ho, I will def wait for her to contact me, but I feel maybe she thinks I moved on and that I dont want to be with her anymore. so she's thinking, "okay, he's doing his own thing now, he's fine so I'm just going to let him be". Bro, that's a rationalization that every dumpee uses. "If I don't contact, they will change their feelings for sure or disappear". If that's true, it was going to happen anyway. If she has interest, she WILL let you know.
Author shallz Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 Right again, Don Ho. Patience is key to this time right now, but I have to limit my expectations/hope what happens, which will be difficult. Maybe she just wants to be friends and thats all she meant with everything she said. keep you posted.
Ajax Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 so, i got a text from her on saturday night and she wants to come over today or tomorrow to see my place. not sure what im going to say when i see her. A suggestion on that, maybe let her come over but have some other friends over at the same time. That way it won't look like you are going out of your way to see her alone, and she'll see you're still living your life. Then if she does want to see you alone she'll have to work a little bit harder for it.
brainblox Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 (edited) hahahaha lovin this Thread, I'm going through a similar thing but I genuinely have no wish to contact her as it was made clear she wants to be friends now and she used the line ( It's not you It's me and I'm not ready for a long term relationship, all this after she was the one who after 4 months asked "so is this a relationship" ??? I shoulda said no it's a long drawn out booty call !! Anyhow my point is I was into her big time and it's tuff when NC has to be enforced but it's there to protect you, and I come first in any and every relationship so I don't think I will ever contact her again...NEXT ! BIGUPS to all comments on this thread and I hope you move on to better things Shallz. peace ! Edited September 9, 2010 by brainblox
Author shallz Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 you know what sucks, I have this hope that she'll call and want to get back together, but I know its not going to happen. my mind is playing tricks on me b/c i think everything she said was just normal stuff u say when your hanging out with someone. game over.
Don Ho Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 "so is this a relationship" ??? I shoulda said no it's a long drawn out booty call !! LMFAO!! Why didn't I think of that? That's exactly what I should have told my Ex when she kept asking that. They tell you that they don't want just a booty call and then when they come to you asking if you want to be in a relationship with them and you reluctantly say "yes", then they tell you they "don't want to be in a relationship". WTH, biatch? You said you didn't want to be a BC and then it's YOUR idea to be my GF and then you bail out?
ShannonMI Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 hey, first time poster, but Ive been reading through some of the threads and there is a lot of good advice here. A lot of advice I wish I knew before I made some bad choices. So, long story short, gf of 6 months ends it, saying we need a break. This was Aug 1, I asked her a couple days later is this a break or are we breaking up? Obviously the answer was breaking up. I was fine with it at first b/c we werent getting along that well at the time, but then I lost control of my emotions and for pretty much the whole month of August I was texting her about why and how its a mistake, and got drunk and insulted her. I pretty much made myself look desperate and pathetic. Hung out with her after all that at her place, we were both drunk, had a blast fooled around a little bit (2 weeks ago). It was a terrible idea b/c she wouldnt return my calls over the weekend, so I texted her a bunch of insults. Turns out her phone was dead (so she says). I tlaked to her that following Monday and told her I embarrassed I was about how I reacted about the break up and the insults and how I didnt really mean any of them. Also, I told her that I dont want to hang around waiting for her to want to get back together when its not going to happen and that we shouldnt talk or hang out for awhile. She said not to worry about the texts or how I reacted and that she had been there before, its not a big deal. The conversation ends with her saying "well im around here (meaning town) so" followed by "talk soon". I felt very relieved, but also feel like I ruined any chance of her wanting to see me or get back together b/c of how immature I acted. Texted her on sunday that I moved into my new place and that she should check it out sometime, no response as of today. I know I should go NC but how long do I wait before I call or text? SHould I even bother? Will she call or text me? I dont know why I let her get to me b/c I broke it off with her a month before. it just sucks being the dumpee and letting your emotions get the better of you. The best thing to do is not contact her. I made the same mistakes you did when my ex broke up with me. I sent him texts and emails asking him why this had happened, telling him I loved him and I missed him. I was an emotional mess and I attribute my actions to that. Also, I was completely blindsided by the breakup. I didn't see it coming and I def. wasn't prepared for it. I still had so many feelings and so much love for him. He always responded the same way. He would say he was sorry things were the way they were and hoped we could be friends. I was so sad by this. I didn't want to be friends. I wanted my boyfriend back. Recently I found out he had been cheating a week before he actually said anything about breaking up. I was so shocked and disgusted when I found out. Now I will never contact him again and I've told him this. There is no chance for friendship or anything else in the future. He messed up big time. Contacting your ex all the time will let her know that she still has her hooks in you and that you aren't moving on. I know it hurts, but don't contact her anymore. It isn't doing you any good. Anytime you feel like you want to contact her, just try doing something else. You will get through it and move on. Give yourself time.
brainblox Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 @Don Ho , it makes me laugh now too ! She said, I'm not in this to waste time so if it feels like a relationship then lets make it one ! Emotions are not to be ****ed with and for a week I was down then I said to my self FFS fix your face look how many pretty fish frequent this large pond But on a serious note I wont enter into a serious thing again unless I'm happy with my lot !
Author shallz Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 (edited) shannonMI->actually we hung out recently. went really well and had a lot of fun. followed the rules of LS by not getting emotional and acting like none of the past occurred. she brought up the relationship a little bit about what went wrong and i fully agreed. i.e. too much too fast and not enough "us" time. wants to hang out again, but im not making the initial move, if she wants to, its her move to make. she saw a different person when we saw each other and it was the person she first met and was in to. its NC from here on out b/c she left with a different impresssion of what she thought before, which was desperate, alone, and on the hook. now its carefree, happy and optomistic. living my life. Edited September 9, 2010 by shallz
Banega100 Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 so 'is this a relationship?' is a test then i guess. With my ex, i can remember telling her she'd have a 1 week trial, at the end of which i would give her a grade and see how it went ha ha ha. of course 1 week became 3 months, and around then i became a pussy who wouldn't dare pull these kind of jokes out on her, and opted to kiss her ass instead! ha
Don Ho Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Good job my LS Brother! Keep on the program, steady as she goes!
ShannonMI Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 shannonMI->actually we hung out recently. went really well and had a lot of fun. followed the rules of LS by not getting emotional and acting like none of the past occurred. she brought up the relationship a little bit about what went wrong and i fully agreed. i.e. too much too fast and not enough "us" time. wants to hang out again, but im not making the initial move, if she wants to, its her move to make. she saw a different person when we saw each other and it was the person she first met and was in to. its NC from here on out b/c she left with a different impresssion of what she thought before, which was desperate, alone, and on the hook. now its carefree, happy and optomistic. living my life. Good for you! I'm glad you showed her that you are doing fine.
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