Livelovelearn Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 So if you guys read some of my threads. 4-5 months back my ex of 3 years broke up with me and he had been seeing someone a little before he broke up with me. Well it ended messy and hes not with that girl. Couple weeks ago we got in contact and we actually went to eat. It was a short get together and he dropped me home, he did make sexual jokes and asking if we were going to do it, he also kept smiling at me, bringing up the past relationship and mentioning alot of things about us. I however kept it short and simple. This was weeks ago and we have contacted eachother through text and few calls, he does joke around about sex and i dont entertain in it. We were very sexual and i know there is chemistry still there but he isnt making a move. And yes i would give him another chance if HE SHOWS HE IS WILLING TO WORK!! Now i should mention 2 months ago i met a guy and we are talking. He is lovely and we are taking things slow. I am not stopping anything Im doing now for my ex, im continuing to live. However i have still been crying over him , our relationship, how he hurt me and how he isnt really trying hard and i really dont know if he still has any feelings for me. Does anyone have any advice, suggestions or similar experiences. It would be greatly appreciated as i feel so up and down emotionally and i just dont know what to do.
Don Ho Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 Yes, I do. You're Ex just want's you for hot sex. Not what you want. That's what happens when you have a high level of physical attraction. Sometimes that's not what you really want. I see nothing to suggest your Ex wants anything more than bedroom time with you. Keep seeing the new guy. Unless your Ex comes back with "I really miss you, this was a mistake, can we start over" (which I doubt he will do) then do not fall for his advances. Actually, better for you to just go NC with him until he comes around (if he even does). Hang in there Sista!
Author Livelovelearn Posted September 1, 2010 Author Posted September 1, 2010 Yes, I do. You're Ex just want's you for hot sex. Not what you want. That's what happens when you have a high level of physical attraction. Sometimes that's not what you really want. I see nothing to suggest your Ex wants anything more than bedroom time with you. Keep seeing the new guy. Unless your Ex comes back with "I really miss you, this was a mistake, can we start over" (which I doubt he will do) then do not fall for his advances. Actually, better for you to just go NC with him until he comes around (if he even does). Hang in there Sista! Thanks DH, the advice is greatly appreciated. I will say he has always been a prideful person and I know he is aware of how much he hurt me I also know he is scared of rejection. But yeah so far he hasnt done much, he does reach out and make contact first at times and i try to show him back the same effort. Yeah i don't know if he will ever say that to me but i guess only time will tell. I am recently having problems with the new guy with me trusting him and its hard but he has patience with me. I am working on things with him though and we are good. I guess I'll try to go no contact for a bit to see if my ex reaches out, I did do NC for 4 months whats another week....
Don Ho Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 Thanks DH, the advice is greatly appreciated. I will say he has always been a prideful person and I know he is aware of how much he hurt me I also know he is scared of rejection. But yeah so far he hasnt done much, he does reach out and make contact first at times and i try to show him back the same effort. Yeah i don't know if he will ever say that to me but i guess only time will tell. I am recently having problems with the new guy with me trusting him and its hard but he has patience with me. I am working on things with him though and we are good. I guess I'll try to go no contact for a bit to see if my ex reaches out, I did do NC for 4 months whats another week.... Ok, but don't use "he's prideful" and "scared of rejection" as excuses to contact your Ex. Believe me if someone REALLY cares about you and is INTERESTED in you, the WILL get a hold of you and let you know. Of course you have issues trusting your new guy ... cuz your Ex was a prick and not trustworthy. The new guy has done nothing for you to justify your lack of trust. That belongs with your last relationship. If things are good with the new guy, keep moving forward. He sounds like a better catch anyway.
Author Livelovelearn Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 Ok, but don't use "he's prideful" and "scared of rejection" as excuses to contact your Ex. Believe me if someone REALLY cares about you and is INTERESTED in you, the WILL get a hold of you and let you know. Of course you have issues trusting your new guy ... cuz your Ex was a prick and not trustworthy. The new guy has done nothing for you to justify your lack of trust. That belongs with your last relationship. If things are good with the new guy, keep moving forward. He sounds like a better catch anyway. Yeah I know, I am definately not going to make no excuses anymore. I learned that if a man is interested he will try, he has in the past but now he is not the same guy. To anyone who is reading my post or browsing through it, i want to say that when someone cheats on you dont expect better from him or her unless he works hard. I decided today that i am going to give up on the love of my life, he is someone i dont know anymore and i say this because even though i tried to make peace with him, he goes behind my back and reaches out to the girl he cheated on me with. He also told her he doesnt talk to me, and he barely knows me. I loved this man for 3 years, did all i could, and only for him to take advantage of me and my unconditional love. SO ANYONE WHO IS TRYING TO GET BACK WITH A CHEATER DONT DO IT! ITS NOT WORTH IT! MOVE ON we can do it...and i am doing it.
Don Ho Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Yeah I know, I am definately not going to make no excuses anymore. i am going to give up on the love of my life. Sista, he clearly WAS NOT the love of your life, that's just what you thought. He turned out to be a cheater and a POS. You will be better once you realize that. Hang in there, you're doing MUCH better!!
Author Livelovelearn Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 Sista, he clearly WAS NOT the love of your life, that's just what you thought. He turned out to be a cheater and a POS. You will be better once you realize that. Hang in there, you're doing MUCH better!! Thanks DH i appreciate the support, it means alot. Yeah you are right about that, i thought he was the love of my life, i make it seem like that because he was my first love so i guess its all i knew, but im ready for new experiences while still trying to figure out more about myself. I just dont understand how someone changes from loving you and making you feel like number one to making you feel so ugly and unimportant and they straight up lie to your face. So sickening but yeah i will keep moving on and i am doing better thanks to my new guy, he is wonderful.
Don Ho Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 That's the unattractive side about humans; they can be very cruel to people they once cared about. Good for you! Continue on with the new guy!
cavedweller Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I think you should forget about the ex and build a relationship with your new guy.. my 2 cents
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