Dexter Morgan Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Dexter I have told you this before and I will tell you again, my xH and I were no longer together when I started A with a xMM. We had been separated and already filed for divorce; I did not betray him in any way that mattered to him. I guess I need to say this so you will stop wasting time on my xH as a BS he is not one. He knew about the affair and was fine with it; he had already gone on with his life. We were separated for almost 4 years before the divorce was final. He has recently told me why he told BS about the A, and that was to get MM off the fence, and not to spare BS’s feelings as much as to spare mine. So you are giving him credit for being injured, he is not. well then my apologies because it seemed that this was why you got divorced, didn't see that a man you knew while you were married to your X wanted to swoop in once he found out you were seperated. my apologies. I know where you stand on the issue of A’s --- you are for all BS’s everywhere and you think they do no wrong--I am ok with that. not all BS's are completely innocent of wrongdoing, but they are a helluva lot less wrong than cheaters. It seems to me you are so busy defending the BS and putting everyone in their place you miss the truth. i missed the truth in your particular thread, but in others where its obvious that a BS was cheated on, I miss nothing. You seem well educated, but extremely narrow/closed minded on this subject there is nothing to be objective about when it comes to cheating. But do not defend a BS that does not exist here, there is only one BS in this situation and it is xMM’s BS not mine and if she ever post here then you will be johnny on the spot for her. and its for the statement above that it was good that your X ratted the MM man out. she deserves to know the truth about to what she is married.
Author 2themoon&back Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 well then my apologies because it seemed that this was why you got divorced, didn't see that a man you knew while you were married to your X wanted to swoop in once he found out you were separated. my apologies.[/Quote] No problem here, I got divorced because my xH did not want to do his part and what he needed to do to help fix the marriage not because I had an A. He just quit on his marriage and me. xH did not think he deserved me, so he left. As far a xMM swooping in, I guess so, but this did not hurt my xH, because he did not want me anymore anyway. not all BS's are completely innocent of wrongdoing, but they are a helluva lot less wrong than cheaters. Oh I know they are not innocent, but wrong is wrong, I did not know there where justifiable wrongs or different degrees of wrong. We are all accountable for our own actions in life even when we have been wronged. i missed the truth in your particular thread, but in others where its obvious that a BS was cheated on, I miss nothing. Yes you did, and I know you do not miss a thing in the obvious ones. there is nothing to be objective about when it comes to cheating. Then I would have to ask you how are you contributing anything of value to a thread like this? Your opinion is just that---your opinion---we all have them but the purpose of posting a thread if for constructive criticism, advice or support. Not to be berated by your moral compass and opinion. I would rather you have asked me questions, like do I feel remorse or sorry for my part in the A but to assume so much and offer so little I do not see the point. It is like someone wounded you and you cannot get over it. Or did I miss it … this is how you are getting over it by telling all the cheaters on LS, your opinion of their actions. and its for the statement above that it was good that your X ratted the MM man out. she deserves to know the truth about to what she is married As I have said more than once… the BS knew who she was married to over and over and over. She did not need my xH to tell her anything, she already knew, BS’s H told her he was in love with me one more than one occasion she just did not want to believe it. And as far as I know she still does not believe it and is willing to stay with a man she knows is in love with OW and that is her right. Now here is where you opinion would be interesting but not necessary.
Spiritgirl Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Then I would have to ask you how are you contributing anything of value to a thread like this? Your opinion is just that---your opinion---we all have them but the purpose of posting a thread if for constructive criticism, advice or support. Not to be berated by your moral compass and opinion. I would rather you have asked me questions, like do I feel remorse or sorry for my part in the A but to assume so much and offer so little I do not see the point. It is like someone wounded you and you cannot get over it. Or did I miss it … this is how you are getting over it by telling all the cheaters on LS, your opinion of their actions. Wooo hooo, you go girl! You are going to be fine!
Dexter Morgan Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Then I would have to ask you how are you contributing anything of value to a thread like this? Your opinion is just that---your opinion---we all have them but the purpose of posting a thread if for constructive criticism, advice or support. Not to be berated by your moral compass and opinion. I would rather you have asked me questions, like do I feel remorse or sorry for my part in the A but to assume so much and offer so little I do not see the point. It is like someone wounded you and you cannot get over it. Or did I miss it … this is how you are getting over it by telling all the cheaters on LS, your opinion of their actions. so let me get this straight....your actions do real damage, cause real pain, and hurt someone else in real life....but the cold plain truth in written text...boy, that is just the worst? got it.
Author 2themoon&back Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 so let me get this straight....your actions do real damage, cause real pain, and hurt someone else in real life....but the cold plain truth in written text...boy, that is just the worst? got it. Yes I did all those things, Thank you for getting it.
BlackLovely Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 Dex, you wouldn't have to apologize so much, if you weren't busy judging based on your own false assumptions. All this does is reduce your credibility. Go ahead and paint all BS as victims if it makes you feel better. Please STOP accusing people of cheating, just because it suits your dogmatic agenda. False accusations are a stupid and offensive waste of time.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Dex, you wouldn't have to apologize so much, if you weren't busy judging based on your own false assumptions. my not understanding that she was already not with her xH when this all went down was the only thing false I got. False accusations are a stupid and offensive waste of time. Oh I could hit the little alert for the stupid comment, but I'm not all pissy like alot of people. a false accusation is a mistake. I didn't understand her story. After knowing the truth, then I apologized. It still doesn't change the other despicable actions of which I am correct. no false assumptions there. and as far as offensive....all of the real life actions that are posted on this site are offensive.
Author 2themoon&back Posted November 8, 2010 Author Posted November 8, 2010 Dextor--thank you for taking time to read my post and for insight that would be helpful in some way and your apology is accepted and welcomed. I am sorry I was not clearer. Now as far as saying: It still doesn't change the other despicable actions of which I am correct. no false assumptions there. and as far as offensive....all of the real life actions that are posted on this site are offensive. These kinds of comments are not warranted or necessary here on this thread. I wish you would, as I said before, clue me into your point of posting here, I maybe to simple to understand your intent. If it is not to give any useful information or understanding, would you please start your on thread about the above quotes, that to me would seem more appropriate, due to the fact I have enough real life issues to deal with, I do not need one with you.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 If it is not to give any useful information or understanding, would you please start your on thread about the above quotes, that to me would seem more appropriate, due to the fact I have enough real life issues to deal with, I do not need one with you. well, thats a fine idea. I think I will
ComputerJock Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Moon: I have been following your posts. I was just wondering if you could update and answer the following three questions? 1. Is your divorce final? 2. Do you have medical insurance to cover IC? I believe IC would help you get on with your life, not get over what has happened. 3. If MM divorced his wife and wanted to make a life with you and now knowing what you know about him, would you accept him back in your life?
Author 2themoon&back Posted January 1, 2011 Author Posted January 1, 2011 Moon: I have been following your posts. I was just wondering if you could update and answer the following three questions? 1. Is your divorce final? 2. Do you have medical insurance to cover IC? I believe IC would help you get on with your life, not get over what has happened. 3. If MM divorced his wife and wanted to make a life with you and now knowing what you know about him, would you accept him back in your life? Happy New Year!!! Yes I will be happy to answer your questions: 1. Yes my divorce has been final and the A was not the reason for the divorce in case you were not aware of that. Me and my xH are very good friends just because we like each other. 2. I have been in IC for a while now and it has been the worth every minute of every hour. I have learned a lot and am learning how to apply it to myself! 3. This is the hardest question to answer... Because I do love xMM, I don't think he will ever be totally out of my life...even if he is not actively in it. Also I chose to love "the man" not all of his choices or his actions, even though some of them have caused me more pain than I ever thought possiable, he also gave me the same amount of happiness and I knew what I was getting into, so I had to know that some of what has happened was a good possibility. So I guess you could say that IF any of that would ever happen, which I doubt ever will because so much has happened since the last DDay, I would have to take the chance with him to be fair to myself. I understand his choices even if I disagree with some of them they are his choices to make and live with. I know he is worth loving and forgiving just as I am and just knowing that helps me to move forward and heal.
Author 2themoon&back Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 It is my anniversary of a terrible heartache… and for me nothing has really changed and everything has changed, in a way my life no longer resembles anything I recognize. So many things have happened in the last year and yet nothing has changed in my heart. It is like being the “living dead”. I watch the world change, days come and go and I feel as though I live right on the outside of life. I guess you never go back to who you once were and resign to fact that you are just who you are going to be. Broken.
chalkfarm Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 It is my anniversary of a terrible heartache… and for me nothing has really changed and everything has changed, in a way my life no longer resembles anything I recognize. So many things have happened in the last year and yet nothing has changed in my heart. It is like being the “living dead”. I watch the world change, days come and go and I feel as though I live right on the outside of life. I guess you never go back to who you once were and resign to fact that you are just who you are going to be. Broken. Oh Moon.... I wish I had the magic answer. I honestly know how you hurt. I trust that you have some good days amongst the bad and that this year anniversary hurdle is only a painful blip. The weeks leading up to my 1 year mark were terrible. TERRIBLE. But I survived and now a couple of weeks later, things look and more importantly feel better. I know you look at your life and feel that the joy is gone and that you will never come clear of the woods. But your life will be better and you will come into the clearing! Trust yourself. Trust that time really is the healer. My mother had a saying on her kitchen bulletin board - A watched pot never boils. I think this holds true when one is in a healing phase. We can't keep checking to see if we have recovered. It doesn't seem to work that way. Trust that you are better. Trust that you have made the right decisions. Baby steps, dear Moon, baby steps. Love to you.
White Flower Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 Dex, you wouldn't have to apologize so much, if you weren't busy judging based on your own false assumptions. All this does is reduce your credibility. Go ahead and paint all BS as victims if it makes you feel better. Please STOP accusing people of cheating, just because it suits your dogmatic agenda. False accusations are a stupid and offensive waste of time.BlackLovely I just wanted to say hi. It's been a long time! So sorry for the t/j.
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