What is your current situation my friends?

[BeagleGal]

Oh yes, girl, I hear you! If I didn't have my goofy beagle boy throughout this horrible time, I don't know how I would have coped as well. At one time, my ex was trying to convince me to get rid of him and thank GOD, I did not even consider doing that. Having pets is very therapeutic I find.

I hope you're doing well, despite whatever hell you've gone through...

 

Thank you! That's Miloh, my baby. I feel like I'd be a lot worse off if I didn't have him. I've been through hell these past 4 months. He's helped quite a bit.

[ShannonMI]

Oh yes, girl, I hear you! If I didn't have my goofy beagle boy throughout this horrible time, I don't know how I would have coped as well. At one time, my ex was trying to convince me to get rid of him and thank GOD, I did not even consider doing that. Having pets is very therapeutic I find.

I hope you're doing well, despite whatever hell you've gone through...

 

Beagle boy hahahaha that's so cute.

 

I'm coping as best I can. I was with my ex for 8 years and we broke up about 4 months ago. I just found out this last Sunday, that he was cheating on me with a college girl a week before he actually had the balls to tell me he wanted some time to himself to figure things out. I was thrown for a loop because everything was going good.

 

He had been acting weird the week before he said he wanted to have some space. Going out, some nights not coming home, being distant. I asked him what was going on and he lied and said he was just spending time with his band mates and he got too drunk and stayed at one of their houses. I thought it was strange because he had never NOT come home, but I believed him of course. He had never lied to me before, as far as I knew. Then after a week of this behavior he tells me he wants some time to himself. I stayed at my parents, totally confused and heartbroken because I had no idea what was going on. Then 2 weeks after this, he tells me we aren't right for each other and he has changed. We break up.

 

Come to find out the week he was acting weird toward me, he was seeing this college kid. She's 8 years younger then him and 11 years younger then me. He dumped me to be with a f-ing kid. To say I'm disgusted and disappointed would be an understatement. If he was so wildly unhappy with me (which I doubt he was because he gave absolutely no indication) then he should have ended it with me before getting involved with this college kid. After all the years we spend together and the love we shared, this is what he does.

 

When we first broke up he insisted that we could be friends and he also wanted visitation of Miloh. I did let him see the dog at first because I had no idea about this cheating sh*t. Now that I know about all of it, I told him to never contact me in any way shape or form ever again. He will never see Miloh again either. He is dead to me. I now know what kind of person he is and I want nothing to do with him ever again.

 

So that's my story. I'm absolutely miserable, but hopefully in time things will get better. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust someone again. It's the most painful thing to be betrayed. Especially when I trusted this person with my life. I never expected he would do such a thing to me.

Edited September 1, 2010 by ShannonMI

[Egychick]

It has been a struggle for me. I have been thinking about my ex everyday since the break up -- At least 5 or 6 or more times a day, especially when I'm not busy. It's an improvement, I guess...at least now I am going out and making new friends.

 

I still check his pages on a website he belongs to...he's traveling and meeting new people...and everything looks peachy keen on his end...I guess he is not losing sleep over me any more, if he ever has.

 

I only hope now...regardless of all the pain he put me through...and the mistake (unintentional) I made with him..that he will be at peace with me. I always think of the good memories we had, and hope that he does the same. People are seeing his sweet, charming side. Where was that side when he was mean to me, cheated on me, and deleted me off of facebook and other things...and out of his life...aaaahhh!

 

I guess i still have a long way to go!!

[BeagleGal]

Thanks!

 

Yikes, 8 years is a hell of a long time. I was with my ex only 2 years so I can imagine how much harder it is for you to get over all this after investing so much time into the R.

 

First off, things will get better. It will take some time, but they do. The good thing is you see him for what he is: an immature, lying cheat. Not like this is an excuse, but he probably thought that after 8 years in a serious relationship he wanted to see what was out there.

 

Second, this girl he's seeing - rebound. It won't last, she's just a "for now" kinda gal to him and he'll move onto someone else and so on and so forth unless/until he gets his sh*t straight. But I know the devastation of betrayal and I've gone through the heartache, I still do. When I hear about my ex, his life now - its definitely a reminder that I had to suffer, not him. At least not now.

 

Read my blog: https://oneangryheffer.blogspot.com to get see what I went thru and the bullsh*t he fed me...

 

Thirdly, continue NC. Its hard, especially after such a long relationship but its for the best. I'm glad you cut him off from seeing you and the dog. If he wants to see the dog again, send him a pic and done. IN fact, no dont do that cuz you'd have to break NC. So f*ck him. He doesn't see the dog or you AT ALL.

 

Just keep focusing on you, enjoy your pooch's company, your friends, family and distract yourself as much as you can. That's what I've had to do and continue to do. Plus I go to therapy as well. I can't really afford it but it was something I had to do cuz I thought I was just going to lose it.

 

Take your time in grieving this and getting over the recent news of his betrayal as its still fresh. In time, the pain will be less and less.

 

Beagle boy hahahaha that's so cute.

 

I'm coping as best I can. I was with my ex for 8 years and we broke up about 4 months ago. I just found out this last Sunday, that he was cheating on me with a college girl a week before he actually had the balls to tell me he wanted some time to himself to figure things out. I was thrown for a loop because everything was going good.

 

He had been acting weird the week before he said he wanted to have some space. Going out, some nights not coming home, being distant. I asked him what was going on and he lied and said he was just spending time with his band mates and he got too drunk and stayed at one of their houses. I thought it was strange because he had never NOT come home, but I believed him of course. He had never lied to me before, as far as I knew. Then after a week of this behavior he tells me he wants some time to himself. I stayed at my parents, totally confused and heartbroken because I had no idea what was going on. Then 2 weeks after this, he tells me we aren't right for each other and he has changed. We break up.

 

Come to find out the week he was acting weird toward me, he was seeing this college kid. She's 8 years younger then him and 11 years younger then me. He dumped me to be with a f-ing kid. To say I'm disgusted and disappointed would be an understatement. If he was so wildly unhappy with me (which I doubt he was because he gave absolutely no indication) then he should have ended it with me before getting involved with this college kid. After all the years we spend together and the love we shared, this is what he does.

 

When we first broke up he insisted that we could be friends and he also wanted visitation of Miloh. I did let him see the dog at first because I had no idea about this cheating sh*t. Now that I know about all of it, I told him to never contact me in any way shape or form ever again. He will never see Miloh again either. He is dead to me. I now know what kind of person he is and I want nothing to do with him ever again.

 

So that's my story. I'm absolutely miserable, but hopefully in time things will get better. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust someone again. It's the most painful thing to be betrayed. Especially when I trusted this person with my life. I never expected he would do such a thing to me.

[shadowplay]

It's been 5 months since he dumped me out of the blue. 4.5 months of trying to be friends, then the past two weeks of no contact.

 

There isn't a sliver of love left. My feelings fall somewhere between indifference and disgust, depending on my mood. When I think of him the only emotion that comes up is repulsion. Often I feel nothing, and wonder why I ever cared.

 

We live a five minute walk from each other, so I see him around on rare occasion. When I do, I shudder a little inside and also feel amused by how lame he is.

 

I no longer miss him. I don't think I really have since he broke my heart. I was just clinging to the hope of what I thought he was.

 

Going NC really helped purge him from my brain.

 

I'm still annoyed that I have to ever see him and we live so close together, but I get a little thrill out of the fact that my presence probably disturbs and unsettles him more than his does me.

[NewToLS]

Been about a month into totally NC. Maybe I'm just stupid, but for the life of me I can't understand a 59-year-old man not communicating. To begin the downfall - I only had one call where he was not himself (pretty short and not as nice as usual). Then no communication for a couple of weeks, then I sent him Happy Birthday email and he responded nicely. But no calls and no answers to a couple of other emails I sent. My last communication with him was a short email telling him I don't know what happened, what changed, but that I'll remember the good times and hoped he had made the right decision for himself (whatever that was that made him turn from me). Nothing. I go from - fine, you jack-wad - to waah, just talk to me and tell me what happened. Very up and down. I have to reread the Red Pill by NF often. I just want an honest talk. I just want it ended by him telling me what's in his head even if it hurts cause it definitely couldn't hurt me more than I already have been. I feel there are no honest men out there. They appear one way and then you find out otherwise. I long for his caring touch, his gorgeous voice, and pretending all's well. I'm even thinking of .. should I send an "I'm doing well and have forgotten we broke up" Christmas gift. Just a gift with nice note that says "Merry Christmas! Hope you're doing well!!" Gee, I'm pathetic.