I've completely lost my dignity with this one. I'm so angry at myself

[gabbi]

I was completely bessotted with a guy I met about 10 months ago. I'd never been in a relationship before and we were on off for ages, normally with him playing me around. Nothing was ever official, but afew weeks ago we started seeing eachother again, and I let my guard down far too much. We didn't have sex, but we did things i probably wasn't ready for, because he pressured me into it. It was going well and then I was about to go on holiday so I decided to visit him to say bye. I'd had a terrible week and i just wanted to say bye to him but he got angry with me because I wouldn't give him oral sex because I had bruising in my mouth. he wouldn't listen and just kept on getting annoyed with me. On top of this I got a phone call from my friend saying she needed me to get round to hers quickly. He carried on getting annoyed and then out of the blue- and I'm really not proud of this- I slapped him.I was in shock because I'm a really calm person and I'd never been violent before in my life- I got kicked out of karate lessons for being too soft! It wasn't hard, and he's twice my size but he flipped and then blamed me for a cut on his ear too. Then I went embarrasingly apologetic and then when he said it wasn't that I got angry and demanded he'd tell me what was wrong. He told me to get out and i yelled at him to get out of my life as I walked out the door. This is the biggest account I've given of this because I'm so embarrassed of waht happened. I'm such an idiot. There were so many times I could have walked out of that with my head held high, but I was too bessoted and stupid to see through it all. I'm normally the sensible friend and i'm the one who tells everyone to not act like that. Arrrgghh!!!

[Don Ho]

Good for you! I think you should have slapped him. Don't feel guilty, he was acting like an a$$ and trying to use you for sex. That's what a WOMAN would do: stand up for herself. Maybe not hit someone, I don't necessarily condone that, put make it clear you're not going to put up with that kind of disrespect. You do not need a guy like that in your life. There are plenty of guys that will like you for you and not as a sex object or sex toy. Sista, you would be an idiot only if you continued with this guy or got back together with him. MOVE ON.

[newguyhere]

You did the right thing. Its guys like him that give men a bad name.

[carhill]

Nice boundary execution. Now you know it's in you. That's good information. Next time, exercise the boundary sooner so a physically threatening action becomes less of an option. IOW, act positively on the emotions before they escalate.

 

Now, you got it all out. What are you going to do if he contacts you again? He will contact you again. Great opportunity to use this new and good information.

 

Welcome to LS

[Cee]

It's okay, really. I have done some things that I haven't been proud of, too. Once I threw something at my boyfriend's head. Not cool. Also, I used to have out of control rages with my ex husband. The rages were bad behavior, but looking back on it, his cheating, stealing, lying, and not listening were the major problem.

 

It's not the slap, I would be worried about. I think you should be concerned about not getting into an abusive relationship again. If you were in a loving partnership, it would never, ever occur to you to slap someone. Focus on promising yourself not to treat yourself badly by being with a horrible person.

 

Forgive yourself and move on.