Binster Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Why did she stop contact with the other guy now, after all if your spliting up she's a free agent why did the other guy become resistable now she can do what she wants without cheating.
hopesndreams Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 I find it interesting that you would engage (and out) your STBX here on LS, what's the point? Game playing's a foot here. You need to decide what it is you want & go that route, as previous posters have mentioned. I was about to begin my post with how I got through my turmoil, but I don't think any advice anyone gives you will be meaningful until you decide whether to D or attempt recon. Bottom line, to remain "on the fence" - as you are now - is to INVITE the very agony you claim you want to be rid of. Moreover, by association, this woman you're seeing will very likely get burned too; needlessly... (her character's already in question, given she's willing to start some kinda R with you). You're at a cross road, OP; and guess what? Both paths involve pain, atleast initially. But you can't travel both paths and keep your sanity for very long. Your world will only deteriorate further if you don't figure out which path to walk down, wholeheartedly. just my two cents. I agree with what is bolded in a BIG WAY! But, OP is tired of barking at the moon and wants some semblance of a normal life while going through this heart wrenching transition. Yes, it is a sign of weakness WN to jump into another relationship so quickly. It's also a big risk! But, you are not the first to do it and won't be the last. It takes strength and fortitude to go out there in the big mean world on your own. Rebuild your self-esteem, by yourself, is tough. I'm not putting you down for your choice. In some ways, I envy it. It makes me wonder what would have happened if I chose that path.
2sunny Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 think about what you want given the reality of your situation. keep this in mind... you may still be in love with the woman you THOUHT she COULD be - instead of the woman she really has proven to be... there is a huge difference. IF you decide to go back - be clear about what you are going back to - a wife who lies and cheats at your expense and sanity. let's include your daughter's expense too. is THAT what you want for the rest of your life?
LuminousZ Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I think your still in love with her...You need to resolve that issue before anything else!!! I agree. "Focus Daniel Son" - Mr. Miyagi, Karate Kid
Author What_Next Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 Well yes in a manner of speaking I am "in love" with her. After 20 years I just cannot turn it off overnight. The question is whether or not I am willing to try and work beyond this affair. Well the answer is right now, NO. I discovered on Friday she still had a hidden email address that she was still lieing about. There were other nasty incidents over the weekend as well, but they will not be posted here. I am moving in less than 2 weeks and if she ever hopes to get me back she'll have to completely change as a person and figure a way to show it to me. In the meantime I am going to focus on me, my child and getting my life back on track. I am involved in a new relationship but I still don't know where that might lead. I am taking that as it comes.
Darth Vader Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 Well yes in a manner of speaking I am "in love" with her. After 20 years I just cannot turn it off overnight. The question is whether or not I am willing to try and work beyond this affair. Well the answer is right now, NO. I discovered on Friday she still had a hidden email address that she was still lieing about. There were other nasty incidents over the weekend as well, but they will not be posted here. I am moving in less than 2 weeks and if she ever hopes to get me back she'll have to completely change as a person and figure a way to show it to me. In the meantime I am going to focus on me, my child and getting my life back on track. I am involved in a new relationship but I still don't know where that might lead. I am taking that as it comes. The fact she's still Lying proves that she's not remorseful for her affair, actually, she's sorry alright, but not for cheating on you, but for getting caught! But from the way you put it, she isn't even trying to do her part! If she really wanted to be with you, she'd find a way to do everything she could to fight for her man! Funny, aint it? Actions DO speak louder than words!
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