yes Posted February 19, 2004 Posted February 19, 2004 did i get the expression right? anyway, there're some very nice guys who've been interested in me for a while, who i like as friends but not more - i've given them a chance, but i just don't see them that way. my response to them is generally positive, so i think they keep on hoping i'll come around (ok, i may be hallucinating, but not likely - they keep on trying to take me out, ignoring the fact that i only agree if there's a group coming along or it's very casual; they contact me repeatedly even though i don't contact them without need, etc). anyway, it gets kind of irritating - you know when somebody likes you and is constantly trying to get closer to you, and you don't like 'em but you don't wanna not be nice? they don't come out and say anything to which i could say "sorry, not interested". so my question is ... how do i handle these guys without being mean? i'd like to send a clear signal that i'm not interested. i'm thinking of mentioning that i have a date or smth, is that a good idea? they can ask around though, and ppl will tell them that i'm single ... any advice? thanks, -yes
HiDDeN PiGLeT Posted February 19, 2004 Posted February 19, 2004 i love the terms "only as friends" and "i'm not interested" and "i'm not ready." i find those work. i also think the best way to anything is to be direct and to the point.
Author yes Posted February 19, 2004 Author Posted February 19, 2004 no, using these terms implies having a "talk" with them. i don't wanna do that. any other ideas? -yes
HiDDeN PiGLeT Posted February 19, 2004 Posted February 19, 2004 see when the ask just instead of feeling tapped just use those phrases or if you're in a big group and dating or relationship come up just casually throw that in.
moimeme Posted February 19, 2004 Posted February 19, 2004 Eventually, there'll be a point in a conversation where you can toss in the subject of looking and you can suggest that you're happy to have them as pals. Sometimes you do need to face things which seem unpleasant, yes. I've recently had to do that with two fellows and, if you do it nicely and sweetly, they take it very well indeed. Not only that, but they'll be glad of knowing where they stand, I'll wager. These two did.
Author yes Posted February 19, 2004 Author Posted February 19, 2004 true, moimeme, i can't avoid an unpleasant moment here. i think i'll start off by mentioning that i have a date. if that doesn't work, i'll mention being happy to have 'em as pals... merci, -yes
HiDDeN PiGLeT Posted February 19, 2004 Posted February 19, 2004 i honestly have done those things. or i'd be like you know what my type of guys are like ...
monkey00 Posted February 19, 2004 Posted February 19, 2004 use the LJBF routine. "oh blahblah you're such a good friend." then they'll get the picture, they'll understand that you only consider them as friends
Marty_McFly Posted February 20, 2004 Posted February 20, 2004 a few suggestions: -make comments about how hot some random guy is that you see when you're with him -ask him to be your "wingman" for picking up other guys when you're out -offer to be his wingman for picking up some good looking girl that you guys see out, and then really act on it even if he doesn't accept your offer -talk about some guy you like who he doesn't know (only if there really is some guy...you don't want to be dishonest) I could probably think of more but those are off the top of my head.
Recommended Posts