TomerT Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 Hi all, This is not my first post here and maybe some of you already read the story, so I will make it short. My gf broke with me 3 weeks ago while she on her long vacation at her country. Since then we almost in "No Contact". I never begged to come her back, just said that I respect her decision and advised her to think twice. Since then she tried to call me - I was busy, I text her back, she didn't respond...after several days she called me again, but I was busy again...So we never actually talked. Two weeks after the break up I sent her this email (please see below), since then I never heard from her again. I will very thhankful if you could answer those question 1) In few days I am travelling for 2 weeks abroad (she knows about this trip) - it will be much more difficult to be in touch during this period. Should I contact/SMS her before I go - just to let her know that I am not completely dissapered from her live (I afraid that what she may think) 2) Additional problem, that she does not have direct phone on her - if I call or SMS her it will be through her sister or Dad...So, I don't want them to be involved....Also, fo my best understanding she has limited internet access there, so email is also not a good option (she may read it days or even weeks after I sent it) Actually, I hope she read the letter I sent her (I SMS(ed) her to let her know about it, after she tried to call me again) 3) My main concern, that when she will back (in 3 weeks from now, 6 weeks after the break up and almost no contact) she will "naturally" completely "over me"...Especially, frankly I am not sure what is going on in her life right now...I know for sure that her X from last long (3 years) relationship satelliting near her and her family may "influence" her get back with him. What should I do ? What can I do ? I hope this letter will not run her away, at least i though it should "pull" her back. What do you think ? Thanks in advance Tomer The letter I sent her: Hi ....., I hope you are doing well and having a lot of fun. I have had time clearly think about things and just wanted you to know that I totally support and agree with your decision to split up. I have realized that this break up is for the best for both of us. So no hard feelings here <--- remark (she asked me many times if I angry at her before) As I told you more than once, I really want you to be happy, because you are a great person (though at times you were acting "bitchy" - but hey..., this is one of the many other things that I loved about you ) and only you know what is best for you. I am moving on with my life and suppose this what you are also doing right now. I can not emhasize more, how happy I was with you. I have no regrets and thank my destiny for every minute we spent together. Probably if it could be possible to go back in time - I would dive in this relationship again without blinking twice (doing less mistakes from my side, of course ) There are so many exciting things coming together lately in my life, it's pretty crazy. I've realized what I had been missing out and hopefully will not let that happen again. Hope we can catch up sometime over cup of (green) tea after you come back, but now, I know that you need your space and time. Actually I also have some major decisions to make and need my time to think them over. Take care, Me
Don Ho Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 Ummm. In that email it seems you were oscillating between blowing her off, being a pussy and having a final good bye email. You should have kept it to two lines and better yet if you hadn't sent it at all. But it's done now so don't worry about it. Ok, stop making excuses about contacting her before your trip or whatever. Just leave it alone. Act like you have moved on, which means going on your trip without contacting her. The main "problem" is that you are pining away for her, it's not about the phones, the SMS and so on. If she's going to "forget" about you in the few weeks you're gone, then she was going to be gone for good anyway so there's NOTHING you can do now that will be beneficial. Do not contact her in anyway before you leave to tell her when you'll be back, to set up a meeting, NOTHING. When you get back, post here BEFORE you do anything. Don't be a dork and contact her before you leave. Have a good trip.
9Lives Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 I like it. I think its nice, its sexy, its real. you show respect for her decision and respect for yourself at this point. you let her know you are doing your own thing but you still cut for her. I like it. I just think u should use SMS to let her know to check her email if possible so the family won't be able to read it. good luck
Author TomerT Posted August 31, 2010 Author Posted August 31, 2010 Ok, stop making excuses about contacting her before your trip or whatever. Just leave it alone. Act like you have moved on, which means going on your trip without contacting her. The main "problem" is that you are pining away for her, it's not about the phones, the SMS and so on. You are so right about it ! I really want her back, but it should be her deliberate decision If she's going to "forget" about you in the few weeks you're gone, then she was going to be gone for good anyway so there's NOTHING you can do now that will be beneficial. Partially agree. I read here that sometimes people made mistakes and regret them after. My concern is, what if she will think that indeed over her and do something "stupid" (I mean sleep with her X). Even if she will truly regret about it later, for me it will be completely over. So don't you think that 6 weeks of NC, may "kill" almost any hope even in someone who truly loved you ? Do not contact her in anyway before you leave to tell her when you'll be back, to set up a meeting, NOTHING. When you get back, post here BEFORE you do anything. Don't be a dork and contact her before you leave. Have a good trip. Absolutely, I will post here to get some advice. Knowing her - I may anticipate that she may call me soon. What should I do then ? Of course I want to talk to her, but I afraid she will call only as "a friend", just to be nice. I really don't expect her telling me "take me back, I did a terrible mistake" should I ignore her call or may be just text her latter "sorry I missed your call, I was busy".. ?
Author TomerT Posted August 31, 2010 Author Posted August 31, 2010 I like it. I think its nice, its sexy, its real. you show respect for her decision and respect for yourself at this point. you let her know you are doing your own thing but you still cut for her. I like it. I just think u should use SMS to let her know to check her email if possible so the family won't be able to read it. good luck I did it, immediately after sent her this letter and get a response (through her mum) that she does not have an internet access there. But I think, if she really (at least) curious to know what I wrote her, she could easily find some internet café in the area (there are a lot). Moreover, she could find an internet access in order to break up with me on Skype... So if she didn't bother to read this letter, probably she not interested in me anyway...Am I right ?
9Lives Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 well I don't think u should continue to contact her. you get her the message and then BACK IT UP. the last thing you want is a one sided effort when u want someone. if she is interested then she will have to show you something but at the same time..you can't be no sucker either. good luck
Recommended Posts