9Lives Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 I decided that this time I'm gonna get over my ex. I'm sick of caring about him. I'm gonna try my hardest to just move on. I hate that he left and I just want to forget I even had this relationship. the current stage I'm in is grieving with a desire to move forward. I'm also still in shock knowing that I gave my all...my best..and it wasn't good enough. I gave it with all my heart. anyway I'm trying not to be sad but sometimes I have no control over it. but that where I'm at right now. I say I should be back to myself by the end of my 3rd or 4th month. I don't facebook right now. I don't call him. I really try to stay away from him. I really wish he doesn't come in my thoughts. I have had enough. I don't wish us getting back together. I want to forget I met a man who hurt me so badly. I want that freedom. I'm ready for him to be gone gone gone gone. when u give all and u get zero..u want that person to disappear!
Sweet_Tea Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 I'm a month in and the first 3 weeks seemed to fly by. I was mentally okay with it and seemed to accept it. But now I seem to have back pedalled! All of a sudden i'm in the grieving stage. I'm finding it hard to cope with the pain and hurt. BiAxident I'm in the same boat as you. I don't have a job and haven't had a full time job in over one and a half years (what the hell was I doing or thinking?!?). I'm looking now because I need to occupy myself and my brain before I drive myself insane! I'm missing him and his company right now and trying to understand that it was the best thing for the both of us as we were too comfortable in our relationship to work on ourselves.
USMCHokie Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 A year ago, I would have never thought I'd be where I am today...and I can confidently and proudly saying that I've moved out of the healing stage and into the living my life stage! It may not feel like it now, but rest assured that you WILL move on and get one step closer to finding the one for you...just have faith that time will do its magic and heal your wounds...
skydiveaddict Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 A year ago, I would have never thought I'd be where I am today...and I can confidently and proudly saying that I've moved out of the healing stage and into the living my life stage! It may not feel like it now, but rest assured that you WILL move on and get one step closer to finding the one for you...just have faith that time will do its magic and heal your wounds... I wish I could agree with you devildog
USMCHokie Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 I wish I could agree with you devildog I wish you could too...I hate to keep seeing you like this...your time will come...I believe it...
leftfield Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 I decided that this time I'm gonna get over my ex. I'm sick of caring about him. I'm gonna try my hardest to just move on. I hate that he left and I just want to forget I even had this relationship. the current stage I'm in is grieving with a desire to move forward. I'm also still in shock knowing that I gave my all...my best..and it wasn't good enough. I gave it with all my heart. anyway I'm trying not to be sad but sometimes I have no control over it. but that where I'm at right now. I say I should be back to myself by the end of my 3rd or 4th month. I don't facebook right now. I don't call him. I really try to stay away from him. I really wish he doesn't come in my thoughts. I have had enough. I don't wish us getting back together. I want to forget I met a man who hurt me so badly. I want that freedom. I'm ready for him to be gone gone gone gone. when u give all and u get zero..u want that person to disappear! I'm still pulling the knife out of my heart 9lives, so the pain is pretty intense at the moment. I managed to push it back in and twist it a few times over the weekend so the NC and healing process is beginning again this week. I know what you're saying about having "had enough" with all this. I just wish there was an off button for emotions. It would also be nice if we could just forget, but then we might never learn from our mistakes if we did. I don't think I've reached your stage yet, because although I'm grieving I'm really struggling to let go. So one positive thing you can draw from this is that you have moved past that stage of clinging on to the past. I really need that too. You say you gave your best and it wasn't good enough - It sounds as though you're still carrying around a burden of blame, consciously or not, but you definitely need to leave that behind. Forgive yourself 9lives, it's never as simple as being 'good enough' or 'not good enough'. Your self-worth should not be judged on the basis of someone else's opinion of it, it is yours and yours alone. You are good enough. I do understand how you feel, because my confidence is at an all time low right now, and I truly do know there are things that I could have done that might have made my relationship better, but I can't do them now. She's gone, probably for good. Now I just need to ditch that "probably" and get my life back on track the way you are doing. Good luck 9lives.
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