Gattica Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 and I don't know what to do about it. If I had health insurance, I would go to therapy. I am just at an all time low in my life with work, living situation, personal life and I don't know how to feel anything but CRAP about myself. What the icing on the cake is finding out that the coworker I was seeing a couple of months ago now has a gf that he was seeing the same time he was dating me, yet denied it. I feel like a fool and have no choice but to talk to him. I am at least happy that I did not sleep with him.
quankanne Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 I'm happy you didn't sleep with him either ... just think of the potential for cooties am truly sorry to see that you're tearing yourself down, but honey, don't sell yourself short. You are incredibly special, even if that guy hasn't taken the time to realize it. There's something about you that no other person possesses quite the way you do, and it's your mission to figure out what that "something" is ... and then put your faith in that. Believe me, being a 40-something chunky monkey is not the best thing in the world to be, but then again, there's something about me that people respond to because they like it. And the same thing is true about you. There's something about you that people really, really like. so, invest in some cheap therapy: Do one thing that makes you feel pretty inside and do it with joy. Maybe it's a pair of slinky high heels that make you feel like a million dollars, or maybe it's a new hairstyle, or even a pedicure/manicure. It's cheaper than therapy, but it's an instant feel-good action that you can treat yourself to every so often. and get out there and meet folks. Not just potential dates, but people who you can learn from, even if it's just by observation. Get involved – join a book club, take a cooking class, learn to knit or quilt or do yoga. Those are the little things that help you built your self-esteem because you see visible results as you accomplish your objectives. and then, tell yourself that you are going to stop selling yourself short. Because you truly are a wonderful individual, and the right person is going to recognize it in a heartbeat. hugs to you, kiddo!
TouchedByViolet Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 If you are younger than 26 and in the US you can still get insurance under your parents, I'll have insurance in 1 month under my dad and plan on going to therapy asap. I know exactly how you feel, except from the male perspective. The last two girls I really liked (one I slept with) decided they wanted someone else after dating and making me seem more important to them than I actually was... Life can be very unfair but what can we do? Why is it so hard to be yourself and find love? I dunno ugh... Life is so unfair. On a positive note, keep trying to better yourself (in whatever ways you know how). Spend time with good friends. I am blessed to have buddies who look out for me and help me enjoy my singledom that I so despise.
BeagleGal Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 I know how you are feeling. After a devastating betrayal/breakup, I got myself into some cheap therapy. I had to because my self esteem was completely shattered. Now, its slowly rebuilding but I'm still a work in progress. All I can suggest from my experience is to spend time with friends, keep busy, yes - see if you are eligible for insurance under your parents and if not, look into cheap therapy. It does help some. I'm seeing my therapist this week because after a couple of weeks not seeing him, I do need a session. And yes, thank your lucky stars you did not sleep with this coworker. Consider that a huge PLUS.
Author Gattica Posted August 31, 2010 Author Posted August 31, 2010 Thanks everyone! Your posts made me feel better. *HUGS* It isn't the guy that I am so upset/depressed about...it was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Finding out that he has a gf that he is willing to bring to work gatherings is bothersome because I was nothing more than someone he wanted to try and have sex with and this woman is someone he wants a relationship with...Also, because our work situation. One good thing, he is now keeping talk to an absolute minimal compared to him making a point of wishing me a happy b-day 2 weeks ago and asking how my car is running, etc. The funny thing is, I know we weren't compatible. I am mainly pissed at myself for not trusting my gut from day one concerning him and instead I feel like I let him make a fool of me. My self esteem is already suffering, this has just taken it down a notch farther.
jean-luc sisko Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Don't let him win. You must have other qualities that are good. The basis of self-esteem is focusing on these.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 My standard advice is as always: be careful what you tell yourself, you might just believe it. This is what successful therapy should convey. Much of therapy is just aimless blathering and coughing up co-pays. If one endeavors to catch one's self entertaining negative thoughts and reinforcing them as "facts" then he or she has turned the tide of self esteem loss. You can just as soon decide you're a Renaissance woman on the verge of her greatest triumphs and go go go on positives--sidestepping negatives. I'm not saying pump yourself up with artificial self-aggrandizement, just commit to a more active life style and give yourself credit when you achieve each positive step. Works for me and I've come from quite a pit.
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