SlevinKalebra Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Since leaving my stbxw I have zero motivation. I am taking prereqs for med school and have a lot of work to do and have yet another class starting in a few days. I know I need to do this work and it's only going to get harder but I keep putting everything off, to find anything else to distract me (like post on LS) . I do not think I'm depressed over the marraige ending. But I can't get the divorce off my mind. Especially with the newest developments (legitimate concerns and update posts). I don't know how to get my concentration back
Woggle Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Find a projet like remodeling your home or something like that and immerse yourself in it. That is why I did after my divorce and once I got started there was no stopping me. I was on fire from that point.
Author SlevinKalebra Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 Well, I have gotten back into exercise and I can get myself to do that no problem. But I NEED to be able to focus on academics. Mindless stuff is all I seem to do. I know I am completely mentally fried, and school should be a distraction to help. But I can't make myself crack the books or focus on anything that really matters.
BetweenHere&There Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Well, I have gotten back into exercise and I can get myself to do that no problem. But I NEED to be able to focus on academics. Mindless stuff is all I seem to do. I know I am completely mentally fried, and school should be a distraction to help. But I can't make myself crack the books or focus on anything that really matters. From experience, this is very hard...I had to take a break from my academics for awhile...ironically I was team leading a project in class during our anniversary (which I hard stopped for him even though he would have never done that for me ) and then I was sinking into the background after....pride cometh before the fall I guess. I finally finished, but there was no pride in it because I was going through too much mentally at the time. Take your time, but don't do the academics unless you are ready...baby steps back into life. For now mindless gets you back to life.
Author SlevinKalebra Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 Thank you. Sincerely good to hear that I am not alone:)
willowthewisp Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 No you're not alone, I start back at school this week and I am very concerned about how I am going to cope. I managed last year and passed with a good grade, which was surprising, but since finding out that my x has got himself a new partner, I have backslid quite badly. Lasy year I think I managed it by focusing solely on my study as my future, that is the mind set I am determined to get back into again this week. It's almost like a grit determination - forcing yourself, every time the x comes into your mind - tell yourself "NO, she will not destroy my future, she has had enough of me already, she will have no more". Gradually I think you will find that the study takes over and actually helps to distract you from renumerating (going over and over what happened), my only caution would be that it's important to still deal with the emotions. I think I didn't last year, focusing only on my study and so now I am about to start counselling at school.
denise_xo Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Since leaving my stbxw I have zero motivation. I am taking prereqs for med school and have a lot of work to do and have yet another class starting in a few days. I know I need to do this work and it's only going to get harder but I keep putting everything off, to find anything else to distract me (like post on LS) . I do not think I'm depressed over the marraige ending. But I can't get the divorce off my mind. Especially with the newest developments (legitimate concerns and update posts). I don't know how to get my concentration back I'm kind of where you're at, but for slightly different reasons. My work load is so dense right now that I can't take the measures I would normally take, which would be stuff like going hiking in the mountains for a few days, go to another country/city and visit friends, or that kind of thing - something that offers a complete change of scene, some rest, and some processing time. In the absence of that, I'm opting for exercise, meditation, and being quite picky about who I spend my time with.
You Go Girl Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 How is it possible to be ok with the marriage ending, but the divorce bothers you? Isn't that one and the same? What line of distinction are you drawing? As for school and concentration, it's a must do. There is only do, there is no try. Don't self-sabotage.
Author SlevinKalebra Posted August 31, 2010 Author Posted August 31, 2010 How is it possible to be ok with the marriage ending, but the divorce bothers you? Isn't that one and the same? What line of distinction are you drawing? As for school and concentration, it's a must do. There is only do, there is no try. Don't self-sabotage. The divorce was necessary, it definitely is affecting me, but more for the issues I posted regarding my daughter. I wrote a post "legitimate concerns in parenting section then a follow up post "legitimate concerns update"
DitkasMoustache Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 I'm in the same boat. I found out about my W's EM with just a few weeks left in the summer term. I squeaked out decent grades on O Chem... but just barely. I've decided to drop my course schedule this semester because I just can't concentrate. Perhaps I'll take some classes online but I've decided my mental health is more important than my GPA right now. Wishing you the best of luck!
spriggig Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 Yeah. She has our son for the entire three day weekend, I have a little extra money so I'm going to paint the hall bathroom. I can find bursts of motivation, for that sort of thing or occasional exercise. But, sustained effort in one direction is hard. I can't imagine taking on pre-med courses in my current state. I think it's tied to the "roller coaster" effect.
You Go Girl Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 Yeah. I think it's tied to the "roller coaster" effect. Is the roller coaster effect self-doubt? Everybody can answer that q.... as for your signature line spriggig, it's a heartbreaker.
HopelessinDTW Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 Is the roller coaster effect self-doubt? Everybody can answer that q.... as for your signature line spriggig, it's a heartbreaker. To me roller-coaster causes a complete lack of concentration. Becuase your emotions are running so high, they drown out every other thought you have. There are moments where you can gain this concentration, but it isn't sustained...and definately long not enough to make it through school.
HopelessinDTW Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 To me roller-coaster causes a complete lack of concentration. Becuase your emotions are running so high, they drown out every other thought you have. There are moments where you can gain this concentration, but it isn't sustained...and definately long not enough to make it through school. See what I mean, can't even type correcylt HAHAHA
You Go Girl Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 To me roller-coaster causes a complete lack of concentration. Becuase your emotions are running so high, they drown out every other thought you have. There are moments where you can gain this concentration, but it isn't sustained...and definately long not enough to make it through school. Or spell "definitely". hehe...English major here, (as I break sentence structure rules) common word to misspell. I agree with that emotional balance is needed. Running in a manic-depressive phase for days, weeks, or even years is not a good thing. Breakups immitate bi-polarism. Take a deep breath and regroup. The laws of life, success, rationality and logic haven't changed just because we're experiencing breakups.
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