MissVegas Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 I need help please...I am devastated, my heart is in my stomach. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. There have been good and amazing times where he shows me he loves me *takes me on a romantic weekend, spends time with my family* and respects me but also bad times. We go on vacation together, i spend time with his family he spends time with mine, we are best friends. My boyfriend is like Jekyll and Hyde though and it's killing me. One minute he's sweet but the minute i want to discuss something or become upset or emotional or we have a slight disagreement he's swearing at me, disrespecting me, calling me names and disregarding my feelings completely. I have done nothing but love this guy and do everything I could possibly do to show him how much i cared for him. I love him dearly, i do loving things for his family, i am so loyal to him, would never be unfaithful, would NEVER turn my back on him in a time of need, and would do anything to work things out and make him happy. That is why I've been in this for four years, I keep trying and justifying. He's broken trust by admittedly flirting with girls on facebook and also sending scandalous pictures via text which he never really worked this out with me just kinda left me to deal with on my own, he goes out drinking often with his friends in the club and leaves me behind which also hurts. But thats not the issue it's the name calling and disrespect and the total disregard for my feelings. He was leaving for Vegas Thursday and I came over wednesday in lingerie and he hadn't packed yet and basically treated me like a nuisance so I started to cry because I was already anxious about trust with Vegas. He said I was being a bitch and psycho and slams the door/kicks me out of his condo when I cried, like shut the door on my sobbing face and said i was embarassing him infront of his neighbours, phoned me after and told me to "stop effing crying". When I phoned him the next day before he left to tell him how hurt he made me feel he said "are you seriously calling me to bitch right before I leave for Vegas?" I know I cannot stay with this man. But what do I do? I love him so much but he will not change I've asked him to not swear at me and to work things out but I'm always the one making the effort and somewhere he decided I was beneath him and worthless. How do I deal with this? How do I heal when I love him and don't want to break up but have no other option?? I feel completely devastated and depressed..
TaraMaiden Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Honey, you already have a thread running on this.... why open a new one? I know why. I know the answer. It's called - "Beating yourself up". The only way perversely that you can stop yourself agonising over it, and feeling it like a hollow painful vacuum in the pit of your stomach, is actually to verbalise it, talk about it and put it down on paper. (so to speak). ou yearn feedback just to stop you focussing on the pain that is in you. You need to see it in front of you. On screen. What you have to do is to show resolve. Swear to yourself, you will not be suckered in, yet again, by this destructive loser. you have to write it down. "I will not be suckered back into this spiral of despair by a man that holds me in the palm of his hand to simply crush me and squeeze the life out of me. I deserve better, because I am so much better than that. he doesn't deserve me. I am really way too good for him. he knows this, and that's why he undermines me, because my love and devotion scares him. What loves him so deeply, he pushes away, because it's too powerful for him to take, and too pure for him to accept. He corrupts the good, because he is too shallow and cruel to do anything else with it. " The above is all true. Read it, accept it, know it to be absolutely the hard cold fact and build on it. Copy and paste onto a huge piece of paper, stick it above your computer, and live your life by it.
Recommended Posts