Triathlons Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Background: We knew each other most of our lives. Married other people, divorced, reconnected several years later. She had been in physically and emotionally abusive relationships after her divorce. After dating a few months she actually asked me to move in, then asked me to get married. I made it official and really proposed to her a month or so later which would have been at about the 6 month point. Her last ex was emotionally abusive. Always ridiculed her, was crazy jealous, made her quit activities if too many other men were involved, etc. They had been broken up for about a year but he had asked to reconcile 3 times then changed his mind after she agreed (all 3 times). Two days after he found out that we were engaged he asked her to reconcile again. She said no. He then wrote a long e-mail about their lives together and all the things they had lost. She told me it was an obvious attempt to manipulate her. He never cared about any of those things anyway, she said. A week later she told me she realized she was not over him or their relationship. I was out. She was going back to him for a 4th (maybe 5th) attempt. I went NC immediately. For myself. To get over her ASAP. She contacted me about 10 days later asking me where I was living, if I was ever going to get some things I had left behind, told me how great I was to her, I was the greatest guy she had ever been with, wished me well. I did not answer. I still love her, but I know it can never work. Not after all that. Everyone I know says he will dump her again because it was just a game of competition. She will be back. Should I stay NC? Should I never look back? Do you think she'll be back? Will he dump her for the 5th time? Can people (them) really reconcile after so much nastiness (it was really bad)? Thanks
Woggle Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 She will probably be back but why would you want her back? She did you a huge favor by doing this before marriage and in time you will realize. It sounds like she is incapable of functioning in a healthy relationship.
Swiss Miss Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Agreed. Stay away form her, she obviously doesn't know what she wants. She probably will be back but the fact that she left you so quickly tells you something about her as a person. Find someone who values you
seibert253 Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 She will probably be back but why would you want her back? She did you a huge favor by doing this before marriage and in time you will realize. It sounds like she is incapable of functioning in a healthy relationship. ^^^^^ This
deux ex machina Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 ...I know it can never work. Not after all that. Keep that in mind. Everyone I know says he will dump her again because it was just a game of competition. She will be back. Should I stay NC? Should I never look back? Do you think she'll be back? Will he dump her for the 5th time? Can people (them) really reconcile after so much nastiness (it was really bad)? Thanks It doesn't matter how bad it was, or how much better you know you are for her. Don't discount the fact that she is exactly where she wants to be. Sooner or later, you'll have to lose hope for any sort of a relationship with her in the future, and stop any longings for it. Stay NC, and don't look back. Take good care of you, Tri.
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