cc89131 Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Hello, This is a litte lenghty, so please excuse how long it is. I just didn't want to leave anything out. I met the woman of my dreams last June, and the relationship was incredible up until middle of July. She has a 4 yr old daughter, and although we had only been dating two months, they were planning to move in to my place in Sept. She is headstrong, this I know, and she does always have to be right. But this is who she is. Anyhow, in the middle of July, she broke things off with me, saying she just has nothing to offer me. She was so tied up at home, with her brother whom she lives with and is ill, and her daughters dad may be moving to another state. I said that I understood that she may not have enough time to spend time with me, but isnt that my choice if I want to stay or not? She still broke up, but called the next day and said that I was right, and she was beating herself up because I have every quality she could ever imagine in a guy, and then some. Things were sparratic for a few days, but really, nothing changed. She still saw me on her days off, and even spent the weekend with her daughter. Weird, because she didn't spend less time with me. Actually, it was more. Fast forward two weeks she was on Facebook. Personally I think it is foolish, but just "my" opinion. She says she is just there for "games". All of her friends are work friends. She had me as a friend in the beginning, but removed me because guys at work were still hitting on her (she is a casino dealer) and every other employee (male) doesn't know me, and she still gets hit on. She said she removed me to "protect" me from her friends at work. After all, she says she keeps her personal life private. Alright, makes some of her statements weird cause some of these guys she does go out to play pool with, but alright. I am a computer person working for a big company that does use software on all laptops to make sure employees are not doing anything they are not supposed to. It does take screen shots, and logs all websites. She used my work computer at my house in July to go to facebook. It took screenshots of it, and since I do the security checking of all screen shots weekly, I saw her facebook. And her status. Which currently showed her in a relationship with another guy. I of course flipped and went home (she had spent the night) to confront her. She said that he is gay, and it is just so people don't know he is dating a subordinate. Not just that, but people will not pick up on her. Ok. I do believe her, and we talked about it, and the problem was done. Or so I thought. Sunday and Monday I received a text saying she was exhausted, and was going back to sleep. Not entirely unlike her because we sometimes have just texted if she was sick. But then Tuesday comes, and I get a text out of the blue saying I invaded her privacy, I lied about it. That she cant do this anymore, and goodbye. I called her when I got home and it was a yelling match on her part (we have never fought before). I couldn't get a word in edgewise. She needed time to think things through. She says she has a photographic memory (which I don't 100% believe) and never went into her profile. She wouldn't on another persons computer. A week later I called her, and she said she needed to think, and do some "soul searching" because her first husband cheated and lied to her. She thought she was over trust issues like this, but she needs time to think. I said ok, and I told her I would ship her stuff back to her. I didn't need constant reminders until she comes up with a decision on her soul searching. After all, she said it could take a day, week or months. I was a fool, and sent a love you type of note with her stuff telling her the door was not closed. I even sent a email the following week, saying that it was snooping anyway you look at it, and I am sorry. I am in week 3 of NC. Nothing further, but I am chomping at the bit. I want to call, but I know if I do I look needy. Plus, I am not sure anything will change if I do.. I really want to call and try to work out what is bugging her. She is worried about me going through her phone, etc. I really don't care. Just at the point where we decide to move in, I think there should be no secrets. And it seems to me she still wants her privacy and me to never question what she is doing or going. I think if this FB thing was no big deal, she would have certainly told me about it when it was done. Just doesn't make any sense. And she is stuck on thinking that I lied, and I invaded her privacy. I don't know if calling would help. She has not reached out to me since we spoke on the phone. She is 29, I am 39. I know there are two sides to every story, and ask any questions you wish because I may have left things out to keep this shorter. Anyone’s thoughts?
Author cc89131 Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 (edited) I was going to call since I know her phone is off right now since she is sleeping for work. I was just going to leave it on her voicemail. Please tell me what you think?[/sIZE][/FONT] Hey **** I just called to see if you were willing to talk things out and see if we could come to a conclusion to the issue we had, and see where we stand or if we could move on from here after some time went by. There are things that I believe that we both saw. I don’t know if we can move forward, but I am calling to see if we could try. You do not have to call me back if you do not wish. I will take that as you do not wish to talk further or you need some more time. Either which way, I wanted to call and reach out. I do miss the fun that we have had together, and wanted to see if we could salvage us. This will be my last call, not due to me not wanting to try, but I am not going to bug someone either. I just wanted to reach out. I hope you are doing well. What do you guys think??? Edited August 28, 2010 by cc89131 spelling
LostInTurn Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 No contact. Do no contact her. No calls, texts, emails. Delete and block her from Facebook. NO CONTACT!
Author cc89131 Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 I didn't call. Stopped myself short. I closed down my facebook account all-together. But why do you say no contact? I don't know if it is narcassim (sp?), but I don't think she can suck up pride and make the first move.
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