nama Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I haven't been with a man for a year. I haven't been in a 'proper' relationship for 4 years. I haven't really wanted to be in a relationship for a while now because of things that had happened in the past. I was involved with a married man and took a year out on men to get myself together. Problem: I would love to be in a relationship. I am ready. Not because I need a man, need sex etc but because I want to be with a man. I am an attractive, intelligent, funny woman. I'm 29, I'm thinking of the future, I want something lasting. But I'm sh*t scared. Going out on a date with a man physically scares me. Not because he might hurt me, or he might reject me. I don't know what it is. I'm increasingly isolating myself, putting going out/ going on dating sites/ speed dating etc. I don't know how to break out of this. Please help
bicyclebrat Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 Hi there-- I'm younger but am in the same predicament. Except I haven't been with anyone in three years, due to abuse in the past. I wish I could offer help but all I can offer is support. I've gotten to the point where it's difficult to even go out and enjoy activities anymore because all I think about is how I've isolated myself. If you're not there yet, then try to get out and do as much as possible, even if it's knitting with a group of older women--you're not going to meet the man of your dreams but at least you're doing something social. And know that you're not alone; I think a lot of women have this happen; maybe some guys too. Good luck.
Cee Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 I took four years off from dating and then jumped back in. I have a few suggestions... 1) Grow your social life so that you meet more people. That way you'll be making friends while searching for dating prospects. 2) Go slow. Test the waters. Dating doesn't have to be a job, it can be something you enjoy. If it becomes a chore, take a break for a couple of months. 2) Try not to take it personally if you don't get a boyfriend right away. I'm still single and instead of thinking that I'm a failure, I've decided that it's not my time. These are just some ideas. Take them or leave them. Good luck.
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