Author Woggle Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 The more I think about the more I think he should have stayed here and told her no. She is not his mother and probably would have respected it if he had stood his ground. This is why I hang out with players. The taken men are too whipped to actually have fun with.
Author Woggle Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 Why is it HER problem that he doesn't have the balls to stand up to her? Women are designed to push the edge of the envelope emotionally. That is just their wiring. Men are designed to be - well - Men. Sounds like she is being a woman and he is acting like her whipped dog. You might be able to help him - but don't berate her, she isn't the problem. Just because somebody will take the abuse does not mean you should abuse the person. Women are not children who are incapable of controlling themselves unless a man keeps them in line. A man should not have to put a woman in her place just for her to act like a decent human being.
that girl Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 That is why men should not make promises they don't keep. People get mad at my take me or leave me attitude but it is better than saying I will do something and not doing it. Some men just say it to get a woman to stop nagging. "Take me or leave me" when it comes to housework isn't a healthy attitude. One person shouldn't get stuck with all the work just like no one should have a spouse who constantly criticizes everything that they do. There are basic things you should do when living with someone like divide up the housework fairly and have some idea about checking in if you'll be late. Sticking to an "I'll do what I want" attitude is childish and selfish. It sounds like he just bailed on her and she had to track him down. Now maybe she is emotionally abusive but it is just as likely that he is shirking his responsibilities. You automatically side with the man, but the first thing I thought was why did she have to come find him? If I went for a run and decided to stop at a friend's I would call, even if we didn't have any afternoon plans. I wouldn't want anyone to worry that I was dead, it is just courtesy. It sounds like more is going on in that marriage than any of us can know.
carhill Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 To quote the OP: This is a guy who works his butt off at his job and is always out in the yard and the front lawn doing things so why does she have an issue with him taking one single day to relax in a friend's pool?Wog's, do you see his wife out in the yard working side by side with him? Also, does he appear to be 'handy', meaning he's good at fix-up/repair stuff? Just curious, as it pertains to the division of labor thing. Also, do you see him publicly berate his wife?
AverageJoe Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 " There are basic things you should do when living with someone like divide up the housework fairly and have some idea about checking in if you'll be late. Sticking to an "I'll do what I want" attitude is childish and selfish. Checking in? Uhh, no. That is what pussies do. Checking in, are you kidding me? Oh and guess what? She would still have to do housework if he was in her life or not.
carhill Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 She would still have to do housework if he was in her life or not. Yeah, no shyte. I still do the same housework I did when married, except it's just me and the cat and no one is critiquing my laundry skills
Cracker Jack Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Haha...The funny thing is this same stuff happened to my best friend when he was with his girlfriend. She was extremely controlling. Anytime she wanted to be dropped off somewhere, she expected him to just get off his ass and do it. Whenever we'd be chilling, she always called him and come home because she wants to see him--despite only being away from her for a few hrs. Some people are just too demanding.
Author Woggle Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 I don't know whether he told her or not but knowing her history he probably did and she sat home getting angry and finally went to get him. She has pretty much erased any trace of who he was before they were married.
sweetjasmine Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 She would still have to do housework if he was in her life or not. If I'm going to be with a partner who doesn't do housework, I'd rather be by myself and do half as much laundry, cooking, and cleaning without having to see someone who's capable of helping just hanging out on the couch watching TV while I go back and forth washing the dishes he dirtied and scrubbing his freaking underwear, which he didn't even bother to put in the laundry basket and just left on the floor in the bathroom. No, thanks.
AverageJoe Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 If I'm going to be with a partner who doesn't do housework, I'd rather be by myself and do half as much laundry, cooking, and cleaning without having to see someone who's capable of helping just hanging out on the couch watching TV while I go back and forth washing the dishes he dirtied and scrubbing his freaking underwear, which he didn't even bother to put in the laundry basket and just left on the floor in the bathroom. No, thanks. No one said you were obligated to. And if you do feel you should, hey, you signed up for it.
sweetjasmine Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 No one said you were obligated to. And if you do feel you should, hey, you signed up for it. Hey, if I were in that situation, I'd walk out the door and never look back. But do you think it's reasonable to expect someone to clean, cook, and do laundry for another person while they don't even lift a finger? My brother goes to work, comes home, and plays on the computer for a couple of hours before going to bed. My brother's girlfriend goes to work, comes home, cooks him dinner, does any necessary shopping, cleans up after him, and does laundry for him when needed. My brother has never cooked a meal for himself in his life and has never used the washing machine, aside from one time when his girlfriend was standing next to him telling him what buttons to push. He doesn't let these two facts stop him from criticizing, either. If you were in my brother's shoes, would you feel comfortable in the relationship? Would you find it unreasonable if your girlfriend asked you to not leave your dirty clothes on the floor and to at least bring them down to the washing machine and put them in the basket? I mean, even if you weren't around, she'd be doing laundry and cleaning, anyway, so what difference does a pile of dirty clothes on the floor make?
carhill Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Wogs, you said you caught your neighbor this morning while he was out on a run. Do you ever see he and his wife walking or running together? Also, do you note a disparity in their physical condition/fitness? Like another poster mentioned, there could be a lot more going on than meets the eye, and usually is. In your circumstance, it would seem preferable to find healthy couples whom you and your wife *both* enjoy to socialize with. It's a process finding them. As with anything, there will always be a bit of bend involved. I like your idea of BBQ and relaxing around the pool. I think that will go far. Just keep inviting folks you get on with. It'll all work out
Author Woggle Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 Whenever I see them together she is just treating him like utter garbage. They have no kids yet so if you ask me he should just get out while he can.
AverageJoe Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Hey, if I were in that situation, I'd walk out the door and never look back. But do you think it's reasonable to expect someone to clean, cook, and do laundry for another person while they don't even lift a finger? Good for you. I suppose reasonable could be subjective in regards to who the person is and what their expectations might be of another. I myself have no desire for a relationship and this is one of the many reasons why. I am self sufficient, I like to cook, I almost went to culinary school before I chose the profession I am in now. I dont need anyone telling me to pick up my socks off the floor. I keep a clean house and those times I am not at home and away, I hire someone for the week to take care of the house. Its a lot cheaper than a women. This is where many men start to get worn down. They get nagged. Take out the garbage, mow the lawn, derp derp derp. What does the man do anyway? After all she does the housework doesnt she? Hmm how dare he not pull his weight around the house. Auto repairs, oil changes, flat car tires, maybe a dead car battery, trim the trees and bushes around the house. Clogged up toilet, leaky faucet, rotten facial boards on the house, pressure washing, water heater goes out. Carpet cleaning, carpet replacement, shingles on the roof falling off, weed eating, fixing broken weed eater, setting up the tv or entertainment center, painting the garage, repairing broken cabinet doors replacing them, renovations on that empty room you want to some day put a baby in. Cleaning the pool (if you have one) cleaning out those stopped up gutters to avoid rotten facial boards. Fixing those broken bricks on the front stoop. Oh yeah, and lets not forget that garbage bag. I could go on. All that while working forty or more hours bringing home a check so you can toss some cascade into the dish washer and push the power button. Nah he doesnt do **** does he? I take out the garbage when I damn well please, and your brother is a slug.
Author Woggle Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 I did not marry a woman in order to get a cook or a maid or whatever. I am perfectly capable of doing those things because I did them during my first marriage and I did them when I was single.
Gypsy_Soul Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 He left and I just shook my head. No wonder why some men are afraid of commitment. I suppose I'm a different kind of woman. My problem seems to be giving my man too much freedom. I let him do whatever he wants and go wherever he wants. Yet, that still doesn't seem to keep them committed.
sweetjasmine Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Whenever I see them together she is just treating him like utter garbage. That's really messed up and sad. Why do you think he stays?
Gypsy_Soul Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Good for you. I suppose reasonable could be subjective in regards to who the person is and what their expectations might be of another. I myself have no desire for a relationship and this is one of the many reasons why. I am self sufficient, I like to cook, I almost went to culinary school before I chose the profession I am in now. I dont need anyone telling me to pick up my socks off the floor. I keep a clean house and those times I am not at home and away, I hire someone for the week to take care of the house. Its a lot cheaper than a women. This is where many men start to get worn down. They get nagged. Take out the garbage, mow the lawn, derp derp derp. What does the man do anyway? After all she does the housework doesnt she? Hmm how dare he not pull his weight around the house. Auto repairs, oil changes, flat car tires, maybe a dead car battery, trim the trees and bushes around the house. Clogged up toilet, leaky faucet, rotten facial boards on the house, pressure washing, water heater goes out. Carpet cleaning, carpet replacement, shingles on the roof falling off, weed eating, fixing broken weed eater, setting up the tv or entertainment center, painting the garage, repairing broken cabinet doors replacing them, renovations on that empty room you want to some day put a baby in. Cleaning the pool (if you have one) cleaning out those stopped up gutters to avoid rotten facial boards. Fixing those broken bricks on the front stoop. Oh yeah, and lets not forget that garbage bag. I could go on. All that while working forty or more hours bringing home a check so you can toss some cascade into the dish washer and push the power button. Nah he doesnt do **** does he? I take out the garbage when I damn well please, and your brother is a slug. I want a man, so I can do all these things for him. I love spoiling my man. Too bad I can't find one that's not already married.
AverageJoe Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I want a man, so I can do all these things for him. I love spoiling my man. Too bad I can't find one that's not already married. You will, just keep on keeping on. Not many women want to spoil a man so you have a desirable trait. If it were me, you would be spoiled in return considerably. Just dont turn into one of those bitches like woggles neighbor.
Author Woggle Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 That's really messed up and sad. Why do you think he stays? She has him worn down.
Sphere Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 He left and I just shook my head. No wonder why some men are afraid of commitment. That's pathetic and what is more pathetic is that lacked the moral fibre to set up boundaries of what is and isn't acceptable.
Sphere Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 She has him worn down. Then he needs to escape, help him.
Author Woggle Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 Then he needs to escape, help him. I will when he is ready to help himself.
Author Woggle Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 "Take me or leave me" when it comes to housework isn't a healthy attitude. One person shouldn't get stuck with all the work just like no one should have a spouse who constantly criticizes everything that they do. There are basic things you should do when living with someone like divide up the housework fairly and have some idea about checking in if you'll be late. Sticking to an "I'll do what I want" attitude is childish and selfish. . True but I think that many men show who they are way before a woman commits and then when they get what they signed up for they are angry. I do my share of the housework but on my days off I like to chill or have fun. It's like some women can't stand to see a man enjoying himself without her.
Pink Cupcakes Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 There could be more of a story there that you don't know about. maybe he treats her like a real a**hole at home. You don't know what is really going on. What he tells you is just what he tells you as his "guy" buddy.
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