Woggle Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 This weekend my wife is going to Atlantic City with a friend who has a free time which I don't mind because as much as I love her I like having the house all to myself every now and then. I see a neighbor of mine out doing his morning run and I ask him if he wants to stop by later to come chill in the pool and throw a few things on the grill for lunch. After about an hour of him being here I get a knock on the door and it is his wife being angry with him for having a day off on the weekend and wasting it doing nothing. This is a guy who works his butt off at his job and is always out in the yard and the front lawn doing things so why does she have an issue with him taking one single day to relax in a friend's pool? Why is he not allowed to have one day to himself that he wants to have? My ex was the same way. Even though I did everything if I took one day off to have a break I would get chewed out. Why is this?
Sphere Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 If I was that man I would tell the woman under no uncertain terms to go and take a hike. Women often feel that they rule the roost in a marriage, they become control freaks, I liken them to the Joker from the Dark Knight who is an equally controlling character. Now, she would have a point if this man was loitering around on a daily basis doing absolutely nothing. Anyway what was the outcome of this incident? Did he leave as soon as possible or did he stay and enjoy himself?
Stung Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 How can we know, Woggle? You don't know, either. Maybe she's a control freak and she's demanding because she's unhappy and trying to control everything. Maybe she's having a selfish moment and thinking only of her own desires. Maybe they have an agreement about things that need to be done, and he's shirking responsibility and thinking only of his own desires.. Maybe she feels like she works hard too and feels like his responsibilities extend beyond his job and the lawn. Maybe he likes doing the lawn and leaves his wife all the other domestic chores and she resents it. Maybe he relaxes and enjoys himself evenings and most weekends, but that weekend they had something they needed to get done on a deadline. Maybe she's hormonal and freaking out for some reason. Maybe they're a husband-and-wife team of government spies and she needed him for a dangerous overseas assignment against ninja-trained assassins, and she used the old 'henpecked husband' routine as a cover to get him out of your house and into the high-tech invisible private jet.
TaraMaiden Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Possession is 9/10ths of the law. Woggle, why does anyone get highly strung about anything? See, I could say that this is her thing. keeping her man under her thumb. Feeling insecure if he for some reasons shows signs of having a life outside of their 4 walls. Your thing used to be that you saw ulterior motive, flakiness and insincerity, in every woman you came across. that your views might be transforming. good, I'm glad. Not all women are like this. She's just being domineering. Same as my ex was domineering, when he would come and put his finger on the 'phone cradle when I was speaking to a friend, disconnect us, and say "That's quite enough talking for now, I think 10 minutes is more than adequate to say everything you need to say, don't you?"
phineas Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 if they have little kids I can probably see it. but my sister is like that with her boyfriend. he built her back patio. he works 50 hrs a week. if he tries to sit back there with friends she yells at him to do something. I usually leave & invite them to my place then. but, she's crazy.
TaraMaiden Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 This line that your views might be transforming. should read "The fact that your thread title reads "Why do SOME women....." indicates to me that that your views might be transforming....... tried to edit, but oooops! Too late!
sweetjasmine Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 How can we know, Woggle? You don't know, either. Maybe she's a control freak and she's demanding because she's unhappy and trying to control everything. Maybe she's having a selfish moment and thinking only of her own desires. Maybe they have an agreement about things that need to be done, and he's shirking responsibility and thinking only of his own desires.. Maybe she feels like she works hard too and feels like his responsibilities extend beyond his job and the lawn. Maybe he likes doing the lawn and leaves his wife all the other domestic chores and she resents it. Maybe he relaxes and enjoys himself evenings and most weekends, but that weekend they had something they needed to get done on a deadline. Maybe she's hormonal and freaking out for some reason. Maybe they're a husband-and-wife team of government spies and she needed him for a dangerous overseas assignment against ninja-trained assassins, and she used the old 'henpecked husband' routine as a cover to get him out of your house and into the high-tech invisible private jet. Maybe the bathtub has been leaking for over a week and damaging the kitchen ceiling, and he promised to fix it last weekend but didn't. Maybe she's a sculptor, and he promised to pose for her. Maybe he's secretly an imprisoned slave from another country, and she confiscated his passport and documents so he can't escape. Maybe he's really her son, and she kidnapped him and has been working for years to not get caught. Maybe she's the next Hitler. Maybe he's the next Hitler.
allina Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I don't know Woggle, that sucks for your friend. Unless he promised his wife that he would take care of something specific that day she is out of line. I'm someone who absolutely needs to zone out. I need that time to go for a run or mess around online and listen to music, my SO is the same way. I find it unacceptable and a bit surprising that someone's SO would appose some simple fun and relaxation. Maybe your friend and his wife have some other drama going on that you don't know about??
Author Woggle Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 If I was that man I would tell the woman under no uncertain terms to go and take a hike. Women often feel that they rule the roost in a marriage, they become control freaks, I liken them to the Joker from the Dark Knight who is an equally controlling character. Now, she would have a point if this man was loitering around on a daily basis doing absolutely nothing. Anyway what was the outcome of this incident? Did he leave as soon as possible or did he stay and enjoy himself? He left and I just shook my head. No wonder why some men are afraid of commitment.
carhill Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Some men are afraid of their wives being angry. Unreasonable fear, IMO. I was once one of them, but now free. Hope he at least got to eat.
AverageJoe Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Something like that is hard to hear. I feel bad for the guy, but at the same time its his own fault. I would have never let things get to that point to begin with. He shouldnt have left, either.
allina Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I'm curious Woggle, is she someone you don't like? Does she feel like you don't like her? I know that if I knocked on the door of my SO's friends house while they were BBQing they would have invited me in and offered me a beer and some food. Maybe she felt threatened by the not so welcoming vibe?
Shakz Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I would have told her the same thing I tell anyone who is insistant on my doing something I don't want to do: "manana."
carhill Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 So Wogs, how does your wife and this neighbor's wife get on? That's usually pretty telling.
AD1980 Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 My buddys wife is the same way she has him under curfew the few times he goes out without her its pathetic.. Hes far from a guy who she has to worry about..I guess some people need to be in control..
sweetjasmine Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Maybe your friend and his wife have some other drama going on that you don't know about?? To give a more serious answer, this is the way things work in my parents' house: Mom goes to work, 45-50 hours/week, teaching and taking care of screaming preschoolers. When she comes home, she has to cook dinner for 5-6 people and then do paperwork and lesson plans for work. On weekends, she does laundry for 5-6 people and cleans the entire house by herself - 3 floors, 3 bathrooms, a whole bunch of rooms. A couple years back, she had to hire landscapers to mow the lawn because none of the 4 able-bodied men in the house were willing to help her with it, and she couldn't mow the whole huge lawn by herself. Meanwhile, Dad is retired and spends his day doing whatever he feels like doing, including sitting on the couch watching TV for hours at a time, browsing the Internet, and watching movies on his computer. He often does the grocery shopping, and once a week, he'll make dinner but won't wash the dishes or clean up when he's done. If something around the house breaks, he'll try his best to fix it, since he was always good at that kind of thing and enjoys doing it. But overall, he's usually fairly relaxed, whereas my mother is crazy, stressed, and high strung. So when she complains about how he's just spent the past four hours in front of the TV while she has to do this, that, and the other thing, I'm not exactly inclined to call her a psycho controlling monster. He put in his 40-something years of hard work and deserves a break, but she's still doing overtime. There's no way a situation like that won't breed resentment.
Knittress Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Because some PEOPLE are total control freaks...
Art_Critic Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I'm curious Woggle, is she someone you don't like? Does she feel like you don't like her? I know that if I knocked on the door of my SO's friends house while they were BBQing they would have invited me in and offered me a beer and some food. Maybe she felt threatened by the not so welcoming vibe? This is a really good point and possibly the answer to your question woggle
meerkat stew Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Good topic. Who knows the facts, he could have promised to do something for a long time and hasn't done it. She could have an endless honeydo list full of ridiculous busywork. Some men need to be henpecked, others don't. Most men get some degree of henpecking in their relationships, and if they tolerate it and accept an unfair amount of it, that's their problem, not just the woman's. It may even be their preference, as many men are lazy and will give up all their power and freedom in exchange for being unduly led or bossed by their woman. Your friend has allowed his woman to think it's OK to come and embarrass him in front of others, regardless of whether her claim on his free time is justified. That's the real issue in her behavior, and is some his fault.
Author Woggle Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 Some men are afraid of their wives being angry. Unreasonable fear, IMO. I was once one of them, but now free. Hope he at least got to eat. He got a burger but that was it. I was getting ready to throw some steaks on. I am trying to find some guys that can come over here and have some fun with but most of them are just like this guy and the new couple that moved in that I actually get along with are out of town. Maybe I should just enjoy my solitude for a weekend.
Author Woggle Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 I don't like her but that is because I know what she is like. I tried to originally get along with her but some people you just can't. I get along great with the woman in the new couple that moved in and both of them are welcome anytime in my home but the few times I invited this woman over she tried to start a fight with her husband and I am not about to let a woman use my house to emotionally abuse a man. That is a no no on my property. She was hostile the minute she knocked on the door. Her and my wife are civil when they see each other but they are not crazy about each other.
that girl Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Some women are just bitches, but there are a huge number of men out there who don't do their fair share. The woman screaming about how he needs to do the dishes seems like a bitch, but sometimes what is really going on is that he keeps promising to pull his own weight but doesn't follow through so she ends up screaming out of frustration. One of the biggest causes of divorce is an unfair division of labor and most of the time it is the guy not pulling his weight.
Author Woggle Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 That is why men should not make promises they don't keep. People get mad at my take me or leave me attitude but it is better than saying I will do something and not doing it. Some men just say it to get a woman to stop nagging.
Shakz Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Some women are just bitches, but there are a huge number of men out there who don't do their fair share. The woman screaming about how he needs to do the dishes seems like a bitch, but sometimes what is really going on is that he keeps promising to pull his own weight but doesn't follow through so she ends up screaming out of frustration. One of the biggest causes of divorce is an unfair division of labor and most of the time it is the guy not pulling his weight. Well, perhaps, after infidelity, physical and emotional abuse, and financal difficulties I guess you could group "unfair division of labor" into the caregory of personal incompatability.
mem11363 Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Why is it HER problem that he doesn't have the balls to stand up to her? Women are designed to push the edge of the envelope emotionally. That is just their wiring. Men are designed to be - well - Men. Sounds like she is being a woman and he is acting like her whipped dog. You might be able to help him - but don't berate her, she isn't the problem. This weekend my wife is going to Atlantic City with a friend who has a free time which I don't mind because as much as I love her I like having the house all to myself every now and then. I see a neighbor of mine out doing his morning run and I ask him if he wants to stop by later to come chill in the pool and throw a few things on the grill for lunch. After about an hour of him being here I get a knock on the door and it is his wife being angry with him for having a day off on the weekend and wasting it doing nothing. This is a guy who works his butt off at his job and is always out in the yard and the front lawn doing things so why does she have an issue with him taking one single day to relax in a friend's pool? Why is he not allowed to have one day to himself that he wants to have? My ex was the same way. Even though I did everything if I took one day off to have a break I would get chewed out. Why is this?
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