mmirgam Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I was the OW until his wife found out. This was about 3 years ago and I was very young and he was much older. I was friends with his wife and obviously we're not friends anymore because of this. I recently was offered a job that I have to take and this job would put me in the position where I would see her maybe every two weeks. I have for a long time wanted to say sorry to her but have felt that it was best for me to just stay out of their lives. Now that I might be seeing her occasionally in my new work office. I worry that not apologizing would create unnecessary drama. Should I apologize? I was thinking of sending her flowers saying how sorry I am and that I understand that she can't forgive me. Then later letting her know that I will be working at one of the offices that she visits. Please advise.
OWoman Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 mmirgam, after three years, you don't think contact out of the blue is not going to cause drama? Especially without a context? I think if you do want to apologise, it would be better done within the context of letting her know she'll be bumping into you in future, so that she's prepared. Let her know of your new job, let her know that you'll have some contact in the future, and that you're sorry about the past and accept your responsibility for that and that you are not looking to her to absolve you of your remorse, but just wanting to prepare her for the encounter and to let her know you're sorry. Sending her flowers, without letting her know why you're contacting her after all this time (until later) is more likely to cause anxiety on her part, and make her wonder (when you do tell her why) why you didn't just come out with it initially. Good luck with the new job!
seren Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Spot on OWoman, I wouldn't want OW to apologise 3 years down the line, but a heads up if she and I had to see each other professionally, Yep, I would appreciate that.
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