sartrelazyeye Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 LOL! Wow you brought this thread back for little old me If she really looks like she describes herself in her post, 2 nights out will make her 'low self-esteem' disappear. I don't know how it's possible to be an average or good looking woman and have a low self-esteem, and usually the women of low self-esteem in these categories are just faking it for attention or fishing for compliments. Hell, even the really fat arrogant, superficial, low-intelligence 22 year old mean girl at my job gets daily compliments from certain guys. I think what is called low-self esteem in women is probably a realistic view of themselves. Men delude women into thinking they're a lot more special and beautiful than they actually are in order to get in their panties (men don't have standards for that ) If low self esteem is such a realistic view...then why do so many young women develop eating disorders? What about BDD? You're kinda an *******.......... I agree that some women have inflated egos (but, that really seems more common in men, anyway).
Author Leigh 87 Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 I posted this thread, cos at age 23, I have not really gotten out there and met many people, and gotten many friends due to mental issues. So I have no idea what sort of level of attractivness i can realistically aim for in men. I do not see if men look at me, even the unatractive ones... so I have no idea what ssort of men I am supposed to aim for. Logically, it works out like this; over time, you will just see the sort of men who express inteerest, and hopefully observe what they look like, and get the message. But I have never regularly seen or talked to men in social situations. The gym is all I have right now. I have no friends at the moment in my new town, there are no clubs I am interested in, and I do not start studying until next year. So at the gym, I just wanrt to know how to tell what level of attractuvness I am, and how that relates to my pulling power, in terms of the men who are intersted. I just do not know. It could be a really harsh reality; perhaps I am not that attractive, and so I will have to settle for men that... I am not really attracted to:(
Awesome Username Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 In my experience, very universally attractive men don't really have to try to get women. That being said, they get propositioned CONSTANTLY and a large portion of them are rarely satisfied if they haven't clicked emotionally with a woman. In general, if given a genie lamp and no repercussions I think that most women would want to sleep with one handsome, rich powerful man and have a lot of male friends to hang out with on the side. A man would just want a bunch of women to sleep with. This is generally speaking. Men, at their inner core, crave a variety of women rather than one strong, powerful mate like women do. I think that men are less picky than women, but are willing to try out a different type of girl that maybe is less attractive just to see what she's like. I think it's easier for an average woman to get a very attractive man than it is for an average, low income man to get a very attractive woman. However, keeping that man around might pose a bit more of a challenge. Eh, If there's a will there's a way!
alexlakeman Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Just post a pic in your profile and let us look at it. I don't think anyone is going to be an asz and post rude comments, but hopefully it might help.
Surrealist Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 I posted this thread, cos at age 23, I have not really gotten out there and met many people, and gotten many friends due to mental issues. So I have no idea what sort of level of attractivness i can realistically aim for in men. I do not see if men look at me, even the unatractive ones... so I have no idea what ssort of men I am supposed to aim for. Logically, it works out like this; over time, you will just see the sort of men who express inteerest, and hopefully observe what they look like, and get the message. But I have never regularly seen or talked to men in social situations. The gym is all I have right now. I have no friends at the moment in my new town, there are no clubs I am interested in, and I do not start studying until next year. So at the gym, I just wanrt to know how to tell what level of attractuvness I am, and how that relates to my pulling power, in terms of the men who are intersted. I just do not know. It could be a really harsh reality; perhaps I am not that attractive, and so I will have to settle for men that... I am not really attracted to:( I'm in a similar situation to you re new town, no friends, and go to the gym - and I been here for nearly three years but it's a well known fact that it is ultra difficult to integrate here in Canberra. Do you have any photos of yourself that you are willing to share? If not that's cool, just wondering if you would like some feedback as I'm offering.
Author Leigh 87 Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 The only gauge I have as to my level of attracdtivness, is that I recently had sex with a body builder. He has a perfectly sculpted body and a cute face. His last g/f was a very thin and pretty and 18; HE is 20. I am 23, nearly 24. I have just been socially out of it, so I have no clue as to how attractive I am to men, and IF I am attractive enough, to be " the type of girl" that guys want to approach. Average or only mildy attractive women do not get guys at the gym who want to talk to them. Unnatractive or average women have to MEET the guy first, and get talking to them. So I was to just know what I am, in terms of how I can meet men. I asked the trainer if he would have sex with a women that he considered unnatractive or nothing special, just cos he was desperate. He said no, and that he had to be attracted to them at least. During our time together, he said I had a ncie body, and he called me gorgeous a couple of times. He is not the type of guy who approaches girls normally. So, if a very attractive guy found me desirable enough to sleep with ( bearing in mind that he would not just have sex with juswt ANY women - average would not be good enough for him to bother with) Does it mean I must be OKAY? AGH, Ijust havnt had any friends or boyfriends in years. I have one best friend back in my old town. I have meen mentaliy ill and unable to make any other friends Now I am ready to start going out and meeting people, but I just... I am 23 and want to have sex occasionally, aqnd to " see" people, although not in an exclusive relationship.... AGH. I Just want to know if I am attractive enough to be able to meet guys easily, or if I will have to simply wait until I meet them during my studies. Basically; I want to know if I am the kind of women who has the looks to meet guys and have them want to talk to me, BEFORE thwet get to know who I am. SOme women are only attractive to men AFTER trhey get talking to the guy - onlty THEN does the guy fall for their personalities, and THEN find the women physicsl desirable. On the other hand, SOME women can just go to the gym or a library or what not, and be able to get guys to look at them and apprpoach them, or at least go and move next to them ( so the gyu hopes to get the girls attention). WHAT am I darn it.
Author Leigh 87 Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 I am basically worried, that if I did not notice men approaching me when I had a perfect body ( 110 lbs, 5 ' 5, great shape, girls would tell me I had a perfect body), then perhaps it is simply because I am not pretty or attractivbe enough? Have men not approached me in the past 5 years? Or could it be due to how I project myself? ( they may have SEEN a women who was attractive enough for then to approach in theory, but my vibe and energy I gave out could have deterred them). I was not seeking men really, I was too hard on my own body and self, to think I was really good enough. Perhaps my attiude hindered men from approaching me , because I looked off limits? Here are a few reasons men may not have approached me: I have been working on my own life and on building myself up mentally after years of social isolation I may not be giving off the right vibe, in spite of having the physicall goods ( attractive enough, but the wrong attitude for guys to seek me) I may not be looking, or I may be unaware guys DO look at me and would be interested in talking with me I may simply not be anything special, and therefore I am the type of women who simply has to garner guys interests AFTER they get to know me; because some women do not have the looks for men to out right be interested in talking to them. but AM I one of those women? I just don't know. I have not been socializing with enough people to know where I realistically stand physically - you know, most people know what they can get, come on, lets be honest. Most people know the level of attractivnesws they are suited to in the opposite sex, and most people KNOW if they get hit on regularly. ONly I don't.
Surrealist Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Leigh87 Like already requested, can we view a pic of you IF you would like some feedback? Also can I ask if your mental illness has been diagnosed? I don't want to be a sticky beak (well maybe I do) but I'm intrigued that if it has been diagnosed, what was the diagnosis?
Author Leigh 87 Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 I will post a pic ASAP. I can only give my stats - 5 ' 5 - 5' 6, 116 - 117 lbs, and bubble butt ( ball shaped), with 32 D ( or DD) boobs. Blonde hair and light blue eyes. I know I am not stunning. I am not skinny like a model. I am a normal healthy looking weight. But I have no offensive feature. Will post a pic asap though. I just have not had social experience with many people in my adult life, so I am fairly clueless as to the sort of men that I can attract. I just want to know how it is, The brutal truth. It is prob not healthy for me to post a pic, as the feedback will hurt me, but still, I would rather know the truth. If I cannot attract men easily, then I will at least be able to face the fact.l I would say I am about a 6 out of ten tops. Do 6's get guys to want to talk to them? Or only after a guy knows them first, are 6's or lower viewed as attractive. I am just lonley in general. And dont giveme cr@p about joining clubs. I have just moved for about 3 months, and have spent a lot of time crying and feeling depressed in my house. I only like physical related activities, so I have to find those types of clubs. IF there are any. The only way for me to meet ppl is through my gym, OR, at University, which does not start until next year. So far the ONLY person I have met, waas a hot trainer who wanted a f*ck, and does not want to do it again. I have everything in my life in terms of a house, nice car, no harships. I am thinner than a lot of women who are happy and hapy friends and guys chasing after them. I mean, I KNOW I am not model material. but I see girls less attractive than I am, that have guys and friends. Jesus. I am 23 and just want to have fun with men. Is it THAT out of my bloody league? I am a simple person.. Just fun. Sorry about my rant. I am just upset that even when I was very thin and had a perfect body, I still did not feel good enough. like omg. Now I do not have the perfect body so hwo the hell can I feel good now? I couldnt eveb get guy WITH a great body!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I cannot just sit here and talk to my therapist and wait until I am ' better". I cannot LAST miuch longer being so lonley. It is so unfair. I have so muich in my life, I wish I could trade it with a less fotunate person who is doing it tough, all the good things I have are being wasted.... seeing as I feel so alone, in spite of having so much financially, and even being slim compared to most women of my height.
Surrealist Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Okay, you have looks and financial viability which are absolute great assets Leigh. But maybe it is just to way you are interacting with people that may be impeding your progress or integration with society? I understand this cos I feel similar - good job, go to the gym, not bad looking, pretty well built etc. Have you ever felt that you have suffered from social anxiety or similar? Not saying you have or are currently, but is this a possible factor? It's difficult to move into a new area, interstate or somewhere where you have no background. It certainly can feel lonely. I know this may be a silly suggestion, but just something off the top of my head, have you considered getting a pet? They can be great companionship while waiting for someone.
counterman Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 From your stats, you seem within the healthy range. Those are good proportions. But, I guess if you want us to gauge how attractive you are from your picture, we will. Although, it is all relative. Some might find you attractive and some might not. However, if that's what you want, then so be it. Personally, your situation seems to be ideal for much growth and experience. You need to get out there, join some clubs with physical activities, join things you wouldn't normally join, so you can start meeting more people. I talk to all kinds of girls. Though, it is only attractive girls that I really approach. I would bet that some of them know that they are really attractive since they have been approached by many others before. But, I do know of very attractive girls, who give off a vibe that they don't want to be approached. My ex-girlfriend is a hottie, who no guys ever approached before. As for attractive guys only liking attractive girls... well, it's all relative. My friend has been going out with this girl for a couple of years now. She is by far less attractive than him. As for me, I would never date a girl who is less attractive than me. This is trying to look at it objectively. The most important thing is that I am healthy and have a health self-esteem. I work on myself everyday, and would not accept anything less from a girl I date. You don't have to apologise about expressing yourself either... we all go through phases where we feel the need to let it all out.
Andy_K Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 I will post a pic ASAP. I can only give my stats - 5 ' 5 - 5' 6, 116 - 117 lbs, and bubble butt ( ball shaped), with 32 D ( or DD) boobs. Blonde hair and light blue eyes. I would say I am about a 6 out of ten tops. Given your measurements, I suspect the only way you're likely to be as low as a 6 out of 10 is if you've got a face like the wrong end of a horse after a particularly nasty case of the runs. The thing you have to remember, is that proportionately VERY FEW guys will make outright approaches on a regular basis. Most won't for one reason or another - they have a girlfriend, they're busy, they're intimidated or nervous, they've had several rejections already, and so on and so forth. Even those that do approach certainly won't approach every girl they find attractive by a long way. It is NOT a good idea to base your sense of attractiveness on the number of guys who approach you, or their looks. It is unhealthy to require that level of external validation to prop up your self confidence.
Author Leigh 87 Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 No pets r alloud in my flat:( And I gave you my height and weight and build - and you are saying that many hot girls r actually that weight? I assumed that the 7's and above could not really be over my weight, and the ones who r 7's - 9's who ARE my same weight, have to have gorgeous faces. And thanks for clarrifying that not all guys will approach women. The trainer I had a fling with told me that he SELDOM approaches women. I think I totally shocked him that I was able to be like " okay, your hot, lets have sex". He just was NOT used to girls being that way. I made it easy for him to approach me. And no I am not usually that way with men - I had not had sex for 5 years or any physical contact with men. I wanted to just have a quick f*ck. And the trainer's last g/f was very skinny and had a very pretty face. So I guess if I was awful he would not be secxually atracted enough to me to want to see me naked? I have lost 2 lbs since our fling:) I want to get hot for ME though . I like looking good amnd taking care of my body. I just with I knew if some guys found me attractive. Cos I have never gotten ANy feedback, really.
counterman Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 It's great that you like taking care of your body. I do to and I expect the person I date to also. IMO, the weight does not matter so much. It's the proportions. Though, I do prefer thinner girls, girls who obviously take care of their bodies. Those stats you provided are fine. Of course, the face is another thing. I would never have sex with a girl I wasn't attracted to. I would only date girls I would have sex with. I am sure some guys would find you attractive. I have been described as "hot" before though I have absolutely no idea why that girl would think that. There's probably many other girls who wouldn't even look at me twice. I don't really care.
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