Do attractive guys only like attractive girls?

[Leigh 87]

Hi, I'm new on this site, and moved to a new town with no friends and have been single/ sexless for years due to an eating disorder.

 

Now I am healthy again, but because I have a lack of experience with guys, yet want to have sexual relationships, I have a few questions regarding looks:

 

How will i learn to find my standard? As in, learn what kind of guys I am good enough for? There is more to it than looks, however, initial attraction is still imperative, to have a young, fun, hot thing going on with some one.

 

I am just facinated by how it all works. Like, around about what SIZE, weight, and body shape does a girl have to have, to attract decent looking guys?

 

I am not into guys with great bodies nesessarily, I do not have a type really so far, but I DO need to be physically attracted to them.

 

I am just worried that I am not good enough to get guys I physically am attracted to.

 

Can an average looking girl get an attractive guy? Yes I am educated, am getting a degree, and am happy in my own life.

 

I am about 120 lbs, 5 '5 ( aiming for 116 lbs), with large boobs and a perky, curvy butt. I have blond hair and blue eyes. What r my chances, by the sounds of things? My downfall: I have a long nose, with a slight dent in it. But it is not a big nose - front on, it looks normal and nice. It is only from one side that it looks slightly crooked.

 

I have straight teeth, but not bright white or model perfect, too.

 

In my confident moods, guys do look at my body. But I am just not sure about my face/body and what they both amount to.

 

I am into fashion and have great style, fortunatelly and only wear stuff that is the best for my body shape. Not to please others though, but because I feel more comfortable in properley fitted clothes.

 

ANy hope for me? I am so frustrated after years of sexual.. absinance. I just want a guy to have fun with. Not a one night stand, but just a friend who respects me, who I can have fun with occasionally. geez

 

It has been about 4 years with no sex for me. ANd I do not own sex toys and never will, it is not my thing....

 

LASTLY: I HAVE noticed, that a lot of girls who r heavier, with lesser bodies than me, have guys I find attractive. If worse looking girls can get decent guys then... maybe I am actually way worse looking than i think?

 

Or maybe me just being ill for a few years, and isolated from guys, has lead to me not being able to.. know if a guy is intersted.

[GK71]

Hi, I'm new on this site, and moved to a new town with no friends and have been single/ sexless for years due to an eating disorder.

 

Now I am healthy again, but because I have a lack of experience with guys, yet want to have sexual relationships, I have a few questions regarding looks:

 

How will i learn to find my standard? As in, learn what kind of guys I am good enough for? There is more to it than looks, however, initial attraction is still imperative, to have a young, fun, hot thing going on with some one.

 

I am just facinated by how it all works. Like, around about what SIZE, weight, and body shape does a girl have to have, to attract decent looking guys?

 

I am not into guys with great bodies nesessarily, I do not have a type really so far, but I DO need to be physically attracted to them.

 

I am just worried that I am not good enough to get guys I physically am attracted to.

 

Can an average looking girl get an attractive guy? Yes I am educated, am getting a degree, and am happy in my own life.

 

I am about 120 lbs, 5 '5 ( aiming for 116 lbs), with large boobs and a perky, curvy butt. I have blond hair and blue eyes. What r my chances, by the sounds of things? My downfall: I have a long nose, with a slight dent in it. But it is not a big nose - front on, it looks normal and nice. It is only from one side that it looks slightly crooked.

 

I have straight teeth, but not bright white or model perfect, too.

 

In my confident moods, guys do look at my body. But I am just not sure about my face/body and what they both amount to.

 

I am into fashion and have great style, fortunatelly and only wear stuff that is the best for my body shape. Not to please others though, but because I feel more comfortable in properley fitted clothes.

 

ANy hope for me? I am so frustrated after years of sexual.. absinance. I just want a guy to have fun with. Not a one night stand, but just a friend who respects me, who I can have fun with occasionally. geez

 

It has been about 4 years with no sex for me. ANd I do not own sex toys and never will, it is not my thing....

 

LASTLY: I HAVE noticed, that a lot of girls who r heavier, with lesser bodies than me, have guys I find attractive. If worse looking girls can get decent guys then... maybe I am actually way worse looking than i think?

 

Or maybe me just being ill for a few years, and isolated from guys, has lead to me not being able to.. know if a guy is intersted.

 

First and foremost, congrats on getting healthy. My ex-girlfriend is still in and out of recovery for bulimia.

 

Secondly, I feel I'm a good looking guy. In shape, former professional athlete (small time, you wouldn't have heard of me unless you lived in one of the cities I played in). I cannot stand it when a girl is hung up on her looks. Don't get me wrong, the physical attraction is definitely important, and has been for 90% of the women I've been involved with sexually, but have confidence. Each guy has their own set of standards. I love a woman with an amazing body and an amazing personality. Another one of my ex-girlfriends was not the most aesthetically pleasing person strictly on your first impression, but I spent a week with her at a camp working, and realized she was just an amazing person, and that made her incredibly attractive to me.

 

Be yourself and I guarantee you'll find a guy who will fit your mold in the long term, but if you're just looking for a sexual relation, I guarantee you can find someone at a bar at last call that will suffice as well.

 

--GK

[Leigh 87]

So, weighing 120 lbs at 5 ' 5 - 5' 6 , but with curves, is a good size for a girl, do u think? Would u go out with a women that size? have your g/f been that size?

 

I am losing to about 115 -116 again hopefully, but logically I DO know it will prob not make a big difference, as far as my pulling power is concerned....

 

and lol, I am not looking for a one night stand, either. it is just, after 4 years of no sex, andnot using sex toys, and having had NO male attention, I just wonder what I can get out there.

[GK71]

So, weighing 120 lbs at 5 ' 5 - 5' 6 , but with curves, is a good size for a girl, do u think? Would u go out with a women that size? have your g/f been that size?

 

I am losing to about 115 -116 again hopefully, but logically I DO know it will prob not make a big difference, as far as my pulling power is concerned....

 

and lol, I am not looking for a one night stand, either. it is just, after 4 years of no sex, andnot using sex toys, and having had NO male attention, I just wonder what I can get out there.

 

My ex was 5'8" and about 160 lbs. Granted, she was a D-I athlete, but still, there are more important things that weight. For me, the lifestyle that determines the weight is more important than five-ten pounds.

[jamesum]

Generally both attractive men and women prefer partners who look as attractive as themselves.

[EasyHeart]

"Attractive" is a relative term. You could not line up all the women in the world in order of attractiveness and have every man agree on the order. One of the things I notice when I'm out girl-watching with my friends is that we are all attracted to different women.

 

You don't need every guy in the world to think you're beautiful; you only need one.

[lofi_tokyo]

I'd agree with the individual that said that attractiveness plays a role, but confidence is key. I haven't met many guys that say their ideal girl is X height and X weight. I have, however, met a ton of guys that love confidence in a woman. Beyond that, I've also met a ton of otherwise attractive girls that - because of their lack of confidence - come off as quite unsavory.

[Leigh 87]

yes, I have deff been one of those attractive girls, who r rather unsavory to be around... I was 115 - 112 lbs, toned and petite, good body... clear skin,.... This is before I gained weight. But I just. I couldn't attract guys to talk with me?

 

Now, I have my life together more, and at 120 lbs I felt more sexually.. appealing. Curvier. You know what - the reality is, it is HARDER to work on comming across confident and appealing, then it is to be thin. I can do thinner. easy. But make attention may not come from it if I am mentally and physically not at my optimal level.....

 

*sigh*. It i sjust hard for me to come across confident, after I have been isolated for so many years. So is is EASy to fall back,a nd put it down to my weight, and stive to be thinner to fix this problem...

 

When the problem is really about how I come across.

[naya1]

im old and have observed a lot of men in my lifetime, most of them are really superficial. they only care for the outside and not the inside, in a ratio of 3-10 men only 3 cared for what a girl is deep inside..most of them want the woman to be really good looking and have a nice body.

 

even if they are with u and u are average, they will still look at a nicer looking woman..they will look and dont care if u catch them staring.

 

its a fact of life.

 

men arent meant to be loved.

[Sphere]

Generally both attractive men and women prefer partners who look as attractive as themselves.

 

It's all subjective and it is noted that relationships last longer when the woman in the relationship is more attractive than the male.

 

Now to the OP congratulations on getting better and you sound like someone with real character and you sound like an ideal weight. Someone who is 5'5 and 120lbs is a healthy weight.

 

As a woman I feel you are trying too hard and are coming off as dominant which will put men off. Most men like to do the pursuing, so sit back and watch them to come to you.

[lofi_tokyo]

 

*sigh*. It i sjust hard for me to come across confident, after I have been isolated for so many years. So is is EASy to fall back,a nd put it down to my weight, and stive to be thinner to fix this problem...

 

When the problem is really about how I come across.

 

That's a really interesting post. I had never thought about how gaining confidence could be harder than losing weight. It makes sense to me though.

 

I think how one comes across effects everything. Really I do. How does one gain confidence? Some say fake it until you make it - certainly that worked for me - after a while all that pretending I started to believe in myself.

 

I think the key is finding things that make you feel happy about yourself that do not depend on the opinion of others. I say this because: I was so confident before things got serious with my boyfriend. I was dating many guys at once, socialized like crazy, and was always laughing/smiling. Now, my life isn't bad dating the guy I'm with - he's fantastic - but suddenly I am putting a lot of stock in someone else's opinion, and my confidence is wavering. So for me, gaining confidence in myself again means being happy for me again, rather than happy because I meet some ideal my boyfriend has. The worst part is, I'm sure his ideal was me when he met me - and this insecure version of myself is turning him off. Bah!

[jamesum]

im old and have observed a lot of men in my lifetime, most of them are really superficial. they only care for the outside and not the inside, in a ratio of 3-10 men only 3 cared for what a girl is deep inside..most of them want the woman to be really good looking and have a nice body.

 

even if they are with u and u are average, they will still look at a nicer looking woman..they will look and dont care if u catch them staring.

 

its a fact of life.

 

men arent meant to be loved.

Yeah and men can also say the same about how most women are superficial for caring more about a man's job, wealth, or status than what he is deep inside.

 

Shallowness goes both ways.

 

I'd agree with the individual that said that attractiveness plays a role, but confidence is key. I haven't met many guys that say their ideal girl is X height and X weight. I have, however, met a ton of guys that love confidence in a woman. Beyond that, I've also met a ton of otherwise attractive girls that - because of their lack of confidence - come off as quite unsavory.

Well, attractiveness merely 'attracts', but personality is what keeps someone around. This holds true for both genders.

Edited August 28, 2010 by jamesum

[BS76]

Do attractive guys only like attractive girls?

 

Let's deconstruct your initial question. First of all attractive women are, by definition, attractive. So it should be plainly obvious why men would be interested in them...they're attracting them...and their interest. It's not rocket science. Now lets work the other end of the this.

 

Do men like unattractive women?

 

If they're unattractive then by definition they're not attracting them, and not getting their interest. If an unattractive woman wants a man's attention they she's going to have to do things to grab it, things that are....*gasp* attractive! That can be anything from losing the gut, to using some makeup, to ditching nasty personality traits and becoming more bubbly and personable. Take your pick.

 

 

It should be no surprise that looks will get men's attention. What women don't realize is that no matter their looks, it's personality that's going to keep the guy. Doubly so if he's a catch and has options as well. Yes, some chump could be happy as hell to get a hottie, even if she treats him like dirt. But then if he's that much of a chump how long will she be satisfied with him when alphas come calling? I've found that kind of dynamic is self-correcting.

Edited August 28, 2010 by BS76

[sagetalk]

But then if he's that much of a chump how long will she be satisfied with him when alphas come calling?.

 

An excellent test of whether a woman truly loves you or not. If she turns down a roid monkey alpha for you, she's a keeper .

[sagetalk]

I am about 120 lbs, 5 '5 ( aiming for 116 lbs), with large boobs and a perky, curvy butt. I have blond hair and blue eyes. What r my chances, by the sounds of things? My downfall: I have a long nose, with a slight dent in it. But it is not a big nose - front on, it looks normal and nice. It is only from one side that it looks slightly crooked.

 

 

As long as you're not hung up on only dating alpha males, you are going to do fantastic. Most guys don't care about a nose that is slightly crooked if the rest of you is fit (and 5'5 120 is fit). Stop over thinking and being negative.

[Leigh 87]

Thanks for all the feedback. People are what they r. No matter if we resent it or not, some people will be attract the attention of more ment hen others.

 

I know I have enough to interest guys, even though I am not stunning. Actually, if I were to wear make up, I would be, but I have a complex over trying too hard... about waking up in the morning and NOT being the girl a guy falls for.

 

I do use mascara cos I have VERY very long eyelashes. But they r dead straight. I have big blue eyes, so when I curl my lashes and put mascara on, they r MEGGA long.

 

So, I have beautiful eyes when I use mascara on them. It increases my appeal about 8 fold, to be honest. But that is about the most I am prepared to do to gain a guys attention.,

 

fortunately, I am naturally small ish with ample breasts, and enough guys tend to find that appealing, also.

 

So I guess without being a model, I know how to attract the attention and interest of some guys. I suppose as long as I keep working on my personality, that I will be able to not only garner the initial attention, but also keep the guy around.

 

I feel lucky I have some good physical attributes, and am not disfigured or anything awful. I just need to accept things without doing what most grils do: never be satisfied and always want more.

[Labster12]

attractive guys

 

attractive girls

 

so subjective

[sparks05]

I suppose as long as I keep working on my personality, that I will be able to not only garner the initial attention, but also keep the guy around.

 

physical definitely helps with the initial attraction, but i do believe personality is what locks it in - if the guy is looking for something more than sex. i think this is the right approach.

[sagetalk]

I feel lucky I have some good physical attributes, and am not disfigured or anything awful. I just need to accept things without doing what most grils do: never be satisfied and always want more.

 

Be satisfied with what you have naturally and don't let guys dictate whether you like yourself or not. Work on your self esteem, a low self esteem will cause you to attract the lowest scum of the earth. Focus on your good features and work to keep fit and toned and eat healthy. Guys will be all over you if they know you're single. That's a guarantee.

[jamesum]

Getting a guy as a woman is 100X easier than getting a girl as a guy.

 

The problem is just that many if not most women expect their dream man to simply fall from the sky straight onto their lap.

[Engadget]

It's not about looks always, it's about personality.

 

I had the choice between a smoking hot 19 year old girl and a less attractive 23 year old girl, I choose the latter.

[carhill]

How will i learn to find my standard?

 

Date men you find attractive and it will evolve over time. No rush. Youth has its benefits. Good luck

[Woggle]

im old and have observed a lot of men in my lifetime, most of them are really superficial. they only care for the outside and not the inside, in a ratio of 3-10 men only 3 cared for what a girl is deep inside..most of them want the woman to be really good looking and have a nice body.

 

even if they are with u and u are average, they will still look at a nicer looking woman..they will look and dont care if u catch them staring.

 

its a fact of life.

 

men arent meant to be loved.

 

And women are any better?

[Woggle]

Some attractive men fall for average women but they have to really have great personalities and it goes much deeper than just being confident and bubbly. These guys are in that rare position of being able to pick and choose with women so a woman better present a really good case of why she should be the one and it is way more than just looks because they can get hot chicks all day.

[BS76]

An excellent test of whether a woman truly loves you or not. If she turns down a roid monkey alpha for you, she's a keeper .

 

This one failed then

 

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?p=4428716

 

Cliffs:

Guy starts to see a girl.

Girl and guy plan to spend the day together.

Girl gets a call from another guy she was seeing.

Other guy on the phone is a bad boy that "recently got arrested".

Girl tells niceguy to drop her off at bad boy's house for what amounts to a booty call.

Niceguy is besides himself and wonders why she likes bad boy more.

 

On one hand she's a low quality tramp and deserves what she's got coming to her. On the other hand he's also at fault for being such a chump he dropped her off to another guy's house when they were supposed to have a date. In other words if he's that big of a pushover/niceguy then no wonder she was more attracted to the other guy!

 

 

 

Some attractive men fall for average women but they have to really have great personalities and it goes much deeper than just being confident and bubbly. These guys are in that rare position of being able to pick and choose with women so a woman better present a really good case of why she should be the one and it is way more than just looks because they can get hot chicks all day.

 

You do realize that average actually means pretty thin and it actually fairly naturally attractive in it's own right, not the euphemism many women use it as today. It's like women using "curvy" as a way of saying they're fat, but have big boobs as a result. "Curvy" really means an hourglass figure and above average cup size.

Edited August 28, 2010 by BS76