So, i fired my general manager today....

[Not strong enough]

Well, me and my "rebound" broke up 3 weeks ago or so. It was mutual and very cordial i guess you would say. But things started to seem a little strange, well. After some investigating, it turns out her and my GM of almost 2 years, been with my since my start, have been screwing around for the last couple weeks, behind my back.

 

So I had to do one of the hardest things ever, and fire him, because not only is it disrespectful in my eyes. I just can't trust someone like that anymore. What I really don't understand is we are very good friends, and he knows everything i've been going through for the last 3-4 months, is how he could do it to me.

 

He took it much better than I expected. I even helped him pack his tools. It hurt badly but what they did was wrong on so many levels.

[lilbunny]

Well, me and my "rebound" broke up 3 weeks ago or so. It was mutual and very cordial i guess you would say. But things started to seem a little strange, well. After some investigating, it turns out her and my GM of almost 2 years, been with my since my start, have been screwing around for the last couple weeks, behind my back.

 

So I had to do one of the hardest things ever, and fire him, because not only is it disrespectful in my eyes. I just can't trust someone like that anymore. What I really don't understand is we are very good friends, and he knows everything i've been going through for the last 3-4 months, is how he could do it to me.

 

He took it much better than I expected. I even helped him pack his tools. It hurt badly but what they did was wrong on so many levels.

 

I hate to be the one to point this out, but depending on where you live this guy could well have a case for unfair dismissal, so be careful. This is a personal matter and not in any way related to the tasks he is contracted and employed to do, so unless this took place during work time it is completely seperate from your employer/employee relationship. I'd advise you check employment law where ever you are.

 

Ultimately what you are saying is you sacked someone because they got involved with someone you describe as a 'rebound' AFTER you had mutually agreed to stop seeing each other. You might want to give that some thought.

[threebyfate]

Most of us can understand your pain but making emotional decisions aren't the way to manage a viable business.

[carhill]

After reading some of the OP's past threads, I'll suggest to have a lawyer give an opinion on the legality of the firing, deal with that part, and then take some time away from women to heal. Sounds like some pretty emotional stuff going on. Make some new male friends and forget about women for awhile. Good luck

[2sunny]

did you kick your gal to the curb too? she's to blame as much as him! did ya, did ya? God i hope so. you better have!

 

BTW - it would have been easier to get rid of her and keep your GM - just giving him a bad review and a pay cut!

Edited August 28, 2010 by 2sunny

[amerikajin]

It depends on the state you're doing business in. It's true that terminating someone isn't just as simple as saying "You're gone, and that's that." On the other hand, some states and some courts in a lot of states have started turning the tide in favor of employers over the past 10 years. Might be different now with the bad economy and all, but who knows. Talk to a legal expert.

 

The easiest way to do this is to ask for a resignation. That way, if he accepts, he's got nothin'. If he declines, well, the next easiest thing to do is to just make life there at the company so impossible that he wants to quit. Give him the shyt jobs. If he refuses, document it as insubordination. Within a few weeks, he'll quit. Trust me.

[cavedweller]

Well, me and my "rebound" broke up 3 weeks ago or so. It was mutual and very cordial i guess you would say. But things started to seem a little strange, well. After some investigating, it turns out her and my GM of almost 2 years, been with my since my start, have been screwing around for the last couple weeks, behind my back.

 

So I had to do one of the hardest things ever, and fire him, because not only is it disrespectful in my eyes. I just can't trust someone like that anymore. What I really don't understand is we are very good friends, and he knows everything i've been going through for the last 3-4 months, is how he could do it to me.

 

He took it much better than I expected. I even helped him pack his tools. It hurt badly but what they did was wrong on so many levels.

I would not worry about it..If he hires a lawyer or goes to the local labor board..well, it is his word against yours..You may want to think about getting rid of the woman also..Just my 2 cents..

[cavedweller]

A couple of thoughts:

 

Prepare for the worst.

 

Remember when it comes to your game plan.."Silence is golden."

 

Was he--lying, stealing, doing poor work, drinking on the job?

 

Like I stated above if he attacks or sues you it will be your word against his..

 

my 2 cents

 

Good luck.....

[Not strong enough]

Not concerned with the legal issues.

 

For one I really doubt he would hire a lawyer, he can't afford one, nor can his family, he was supporting them. I don't think he would do it because of friendship in the past, but even if he did, i could just ask the court to do a drug test. If that didn't work, i have proof that he's been giving alcohol to minor's, and know for a fact drug use goes on at his residence. I have a picture message of my ex and him drinking together, she's 19.

[carhill]

Don't know how old you are, but, having a bit of business experience, I can tell you that any employer should be concerned about employee-related legal issues. They are the single largest and most unpredicatable exposure most businesses generally have.

 

You may think you have enough dirt on him to keep him silent, but who knows what dirt he has on you. It's decidedly not good to get into a dirt slinging competition.

 

Since you posted this in the business/professional area, I presume that's the angle you're working. The relationship angle is a completely separate arena. Another poster mentioned silence. Good advice, IMO. Hope it works out

[Not strong enough]

I'm being silent, and i'm not starting the mud slinging, i was just saying, i have a lot of mud if it ever happens, and a lot he doesn't even know about. This was about the business relationship side of it as well.

 

It does tie in with a romantic relationship, but i was more just awestruck by having to fire my right hand man, because of back stabbing. Especially because of our friendship outside of work, and him knowing everything i've been going through, and me knowing him as well, he recently got a divorce and i've given him countless personal days, and kept my mouth shut about his unprofessional ism in the workplace while he's been going through it.

[carhill]

And thank your fortuitous stars he wasn't your business *partner*.

 

I don't recall reading, but what circumstances brought your rebound and your GM together? Did they socialize together, due to your R or otherwise? Work together? Perhaps these experiences can assist with future boundaries.

[Not strong enough]

She would come up to my business to see me, sometimes i wouldn't be there, he would along with his friends, and she started hanging around with them. We broke up shortly after, because of her recreational drug use, and her need to go out "as friends" with other guys.

 

I wasn't blind to it, but i really didn't see this one coming.... I really didn't care if she went back to her ex or anything like that, but this felt like a stab in the back from my most trusted employee and her. The other part of it is, she tends to go after people that have stable jobs, and are in power. So this was the only thing I could do to stop her from doing something really stupid, because im no longer romantically attached to her, but i still care about her to a degree, because Ive known her my whole life, we even went to kindergarten together. I really don't want her with this crowd of people, because his house is like sodom and gomorra. They all do drugs together, they all have sex with each other, they watch each other have sex...none of them worked besides him, and he had a rather cushy job. 7-10 people at any given time live in this same house and all participate in these acts. Every person they touch seems to end up a drug addict, homeless, involved in some sort of prostitution. I hate to see it happen to her.

[D-Lish]

So you essentially fired a guy that dated your cast off- they had more chemistry, you got jealous like a child and reacted. Lawsuit.

[Not strong enough]

Mutual break-up, not my cast-off. Don't know what to say to the rest of it, maybe you don't understand the point. d-lish, he even admitted to it being wrong, he appologized for stabbing me in the back, everyone else agreed, and he took his leave.

 

There's a lot more to it than was posted, it would just take 10 pages to type it all. Think what you want.

[carhill]

TBH, reading more, this doesn't sound like a lawsuit kind of business.

 

I recall a dynamic in the 80's where a whole shop would get coked up and people would be having random sex at work. Probably an era many of them would soon forget, and probably have. It was likely more common that I imagined. The only lawsuits were likely from customers and vendors like myself who weren't being paid. My best friend ended up hiring some of the few good employees away from there and they've remained loyal employees to this day.

 

In time it'll all settle out. Hope business doesn't get hurt too bad...

Edited August 29, 2010 by carhill

[Not strong enough]

I will take some of the advise though, he's returning to collect a paycheck, and a car i bought for him....Friday. I will ask for him to sign a resignation paper then, just to make sure.

 

As far as the business, all it will hurt is who I hire as his replacement, because I really don't trust anyone anymore. I'll also have to be on the look out for retaliation on my business from his druggie friends...

[Not strong enough]

SC, he actually apologized when, said he knew he was wrong, said he understood and was sorry for stabbing me in the back.

[2sunny]

SC, he actually apologized when, said he knew he was wrong, said he understood and was sorry for stabbing me in the back.

 

that's all good but only words which means nothing. we have evidence he's a man who says one thing and does something else.

 

did he give you a resignation letter in writing? you need documents by him to keep him from collecting from you in the future.

 

did he provide you that?

 

best way to resolve alot of this is to get rid of your girl! what about her? did you break it off with her too? she's not to be trusted as much as him! why fire him and keep a cheating gal?

 

what happened on that situation?

[Not strong enough]

No but i do plan on getting one, when he collects his last check.

 

She's been gone.

Edited August 30, 2010 by Not strong enough

[Tayla]

You are correct, Without stating what job performance skills he was lagging or had previously been corrected on , we are left to advise based on WHAT IS STATED. A Knee jerk firing based on emotional response.

 

I would assure this gent that resigning deters him from collecting unemployment. A Lawyer would deflect any use of the mans personal time and home life. I personally did find humor in that tactic. It wont wash , even a judge would toss that dribble out the door.

 

The burden of proof will lay with you on firing should this man challenge it. Even in an at will state certain provisions still must be adhered too. Hope your HR records are up to date!

[liveforluck]

that sucks.... stupid bitch wasnt good enough for you anyway to do that to you.

[Trimmer]

As a matter of fact, if he's got a half a brain at all, he'll already know that quitting would disqualify him from collecting unemployment, and your asking him to sign a 'resignation' letter may well alert him that you are scrambling to cover yourself against a potential lawsuit. Talk about making someone's ears perk up...

[MissMayhem]

Well, me and my "rebound" broke up 3 weeks ago or so. It was mutual and very cordial i guess you would say. But things started to seem a little strange, well. After some investigating, it turns out her and my GM of almost 2 years, been with my since my start, have been screwing around for the last couple weeks, behind my back.

 

So I had to do one of the hardest things ever, and fire him, because not only is it disrespectful in my eyes. I just can't trust someone like that anymore. What I really don't understand is we are very good friends, and he knows everything i've been going through for the last 3-4 months, is how he could do it to me.

 

He took it much better than I expected. I even helped him pack his tools. It hurt badly but what they did was wrong on so many levels.

 

Hello Not strong enough,

 

I have to say I'm a bit confused here. You say in the first paragraph that you broke up with this lady 3 weeks ago and that it was mutual and cordial. So it's OVER. You go on to say that you found out your ex and your GM began some sort of relationship only 2 weeks ago. So how was this done Behind Your Back???? It was over between you and you aren't in high school anymore. And I don't think they needed to ask your permission to start a relationship.

 

Please explain how their personal life at this time is any of your business? All of you are adult professional people with lives of your own. Who she spends her time with now is none of your business and the same goes for him and for you.

 

It's very unprofessional of you to fire this man because you don't approve of who he's going out with or sleeping with or because of your JEALOUSY. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with the work environment. And you can't back up now and say that there were other reasons you fired him because this was the whole point of your post. I think it was a low blow and very unprofessional and immature of you.

 

When you stopped seeing each other, it was no longer your business. YOU'RE bringing your personal life to work with you and that is so so wrong.

[Not strong enough]

I guess I would have to explain everything for you to understand, but the fact comes down to, i looked the other way on a lot of stuff, now finding out more of what was done behind my back, like pocketing money from work done while i wasn't here, etc...

 

But, the fact is, he did something he knew I would not be ok with. He lied to me about it, which I told him when he started if he ever lied to me, I would fire him.

 

Your right, his personal life is his personal life, but he drug one of my life long friends into his personal life, and has corrupted them. He brought his personal feelings to work as well, he just told people about it behind my back. The girl issue was just the last straw.

 

I looked the other way on his moonlighting, his constant absence from work because of personal reasons, and his lack of respect of me for many months. But when he did what he did, that tore it period. He was also my friend, and knew I hadn't been in a good mental state for quite some time. Now i find out he's been stealing from the business for quite a while.....which just makes me feel better about my decision.

 

He was part of the reason we broke up looking back, not only that, he has brought a good person, that I've been friends with all my life, into a group of people, that are morally corrupt.

 

By doing so, he not only hurt me mentally, he hurt my business, because the lifelong friend, that later became my ex is tied into my business to a point. This hurts my business in a financially, along with the financial betrayal I found out after the fact.

 

So go ahead take up for him, i really couldn't care less, and I don't blame you because you don't know the whole situation. For a day I felt like maybe I was wrong, then I found out about the rest, and some of his friends, that didn't really know it found out, and sided with me.

 

I'm happy with my choice, the business is already running better, i had no idea the amount of work that was being done under the table, and the amount of customers leaving because of his attitude.