Wings Of Love Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 I hope this is in the right place. Ok guys. My ex left me close to 19 months ago. Such a long time, I know. Recently, after getting back in touch and meeting up a few times, he told me he was falling for me again. I guess I let my excitement get the best of me, because last thursday, we slept together. When it was over he clung to me briefly, then explained he was really confused about his feelings, said he wasn't sure he'd come back to me. He also said he felt he was betraying his friend (who has feelings for me, but knows there isn't a chance for us) and that he believes he should stay single for a while and concentrate on himself and his career. He's never single for long though, so I think it's just an excuse to get away from me again. He begged me to remain friends, then promptly ignored every attempt I made to reach out to him. I gave up, we now haven't spoken for several days. So because of my stupidity, I got hurt. Again. Now I'm sick of his games and I want to move on. My question is, how do I let go? How do I ignore the physical ache in my chest, the nausea I feel when I think of him finding someone else, the blinding despair when I realise I'm never going to be with him again? I thought I was equipped to handle it a second time, but I'm not. The most I do is tell myself I deserve much better, that this is just a small bump in the road that is life. I force myself to go on as normal and for the most part it works. But I want to be really, truly happy. Any advice?
Eve Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 You may get better advice because I have not felt the ache you speak off... However, I have ended relationships in the past and would repeat such actions in the future if push came to shove. To cut a long story short, basically I came to the realisation that I should only give that which I want to give and if this is returned with pain of any kind, I should re-evaluate MY actions moreso than that of the other person/s... In relation to you, imo, ok, you gave this man another chance but there is little evidence that you had truly examined yourself within all of this. It s like part of you had not moved on and this is what he came back to; A fracture from the past, not you. Give, but understand that what you give really is defining you. All in all, maybe you see the best in this person? but if he is not willing to share this with you, as a matter of priority, lay to rest what you gave. I found that I could not go back in any of my former situations because I had processed the above and they were just part of a larger development of me as a person. .. Unless of course this really just is the life ahead for you? You know, waiting for him to catch up with you.. How likely is this? Take care, Eve xx
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