9Lives Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 I always knew this but search know proved that you cant just tell a person to move on. You have to help THEM..not you ...THEM....understand why they should let go. Cause until in your own mind you see why..you cant really do it. So i just wanted to put this out there. some of us know we need to let go but dont know how or are not sure they should or cant understand its the best thing to do ...it's complicated. It just good to know, we are not crazy..this is difficult!
blind_otter Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 My son is 2 years old, so he has little to no impulse control. I find that I have to repeat necessary instructions a lot, over time. Things like "do not run into the road" or "do not put your bath towel in the bath tub". I know that he gets it, but it hasn't sunk in yet. When I'm cranky I tend to say things like "how many times do I have to tell you the same thing?!", but mostly I try to be patient and understanding of his process. Same goes for letting go of relationships that are no longer functional. Our emotional selves are often not much more mature than toddlers, which leads to the difficulty in accepting the reality of the present moment and the foot stomping and insisting that "it's not fair!" in various ways. Quite the opposite is true, I'd wager - actually we all ARE crazy, but it is (hopefully) a temporary state that will pass in and out of our lives at various points, and thanks be for that - the craziness is our main source of motivation for change and growth in adulthood.
straycat99 Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 I'm trying to tell you people, the way out of your mental hell is to shock yourself out. You must do something that changes all your perspectives instantly and dramatically. The most practical ways to do this are: losing weight and becoming hot, traveling, sex with someone else, sex with someone else while traveling, going back to school, learning how to do something completely awesome, or preferably all of the above concurrently. Don't ask how or why, just do these things. OR - you can go get counseling, and buy self-help books, spend thousands of dollars on trying to understand your childhood, sexuality and abandonment issues, chatting nightly with online friends while indulging in the new 2100 calorie cheese mounted KFC bowl and collecting pets and junk like those hoarders on TLC. I'm sorry to be so blunt. I'm trying to help. Just trust me on this. This site is amazing to me because I really want you people to stop suffering like this. I was once like this, it was HORRIBLE. OMG. But I followed my simple practical steps and honestly, as soon as I realized I was more capable, more competent, more beautiful and more educated than the loser guys had given me credit for - I was over them. And now I only date top notch real men. But there was a pont NOT very long ago when I thought my loser ex was the greatest thing since sliced bread and that I would NEVER get someone better. It's crazy mind talk. Just crazy. You'll soon see.
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