candleboxes Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 Ok well I posted here a few days ago - long story short. Ex broke up with me the day before we signed a lease - pretty much leaving me homeless. He did it while he was very mad but didn't change his mind. 1 week later I sleep with him - pathetic right? I guess I hoped it just wasn't so! Weird thing was, it was me comforting him, promising it would be ok, and that we'd be friends. He said he never wanted to "not" love me. (I guess just as friends though, great) 2 days later, after spending hours moving out of the apartment I shared with him, I email him telling him I wished him the best but couldn't be friends with him. And that it wasn't okay that it was me comforting him and I didn't forgive him for what he'd done. (and I said I didn't mean breaking up with me - I guess the leaving me without somewhere to live part flew over his head?) I block him from emailing me because I didn't want a response to my email because I figured whatever he'd say would make me feel worse. He finds a way to message me, says he left the way he did because I was a bad girlfriend and I didn't deserve any consideration because I'd so constantly "mistreated" him. Sarcastically said thanks for promising to be my friend and instead punish him. We don't talk after that for a week or so. He calls me randomly Saturday afternoon - I answer, like a moron, but was very curt, asking if he "needed" something, but then said I'd call him back but I didn't. I called him later that night while I was out clubbing and drunk, said something stupid like "Hi! I love you! What are you doing up!" Bleh. Very short convo. Mostly stupid. I was drunk, forgive me? heh. Then...he texted me yesterday asking if I wanted to go see a movie Monday, a particular movie that I guess he knew I'd be interested in considering I'm a conspiracy theory nut. I said okay...but I feel kind of dumb about it. -- This is what I want to believe -- He broke up with me while he was angry, impulsive, maybe he didn't mean it? Maybe he wants to be with me still? --This is what I actually believe -- Me not talking to him makes him feel bad about himself, and so he's just going to try and be friends regardless of what I said to him. I have to admit I feel a little better since he texted me, I was missing him like CRAZY. But it's hard to imagine being friends with someone that I know is trolling for sex on all of his internet dating sites, and made it very obvious to me. So, what do you think LSers? Am I just wishful thinking? Is this fixable? Or does he just want to feel like he didn't do anything wrong? I feel quite dumb. Be gentle.
ShannonMI Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 I, personally wouldn't go to the movies with him, but that is ultimately something you would have to decide for yourself. What are his intentions? You need to find this out. Does he want to be with you in a relationship or does he want you as a friend? You need to get a clear answer from him and go from there. He's trolling on the internet for sex? How gross. Is this someone you want to be with or be associated with? Is he looking for a relationship or just a f*ck buddy? You have to find these things out. If you go to the movies with him, don't have sex with him afterward. I hope that helps:)
Author candleboxes Posted August 27, 2010 Author Posted August 27, 2010 I, personally wouldn't go to the movies with him, but that is ultimately something you would have to decide for yourself. What are his intentions? You need to find this out. Does he want to be with you in a relationship or does he want you as a friend? You need to get a clear answer from him and go from there. He's trolling on the internet for sex? How gross. Is this someone you want to be with or be associated with? Is he looking for a relationship or just a f*ck buddy? You have to find these things out. If you go to the movies with him, don't have sex with him afterward. I hope that helps:) Hi again Shannon! I feel stupid asking him his intentions...I hate to make it so obvious that I still want to be with him. Although, honestly, as the days go on, the less I feel this to be true. But I have these moments where I just wish we were laying together like we used to. When I slept with him /cringe he just kept telling me he loved me but seemed to reject every idea I had about how we could "fix" it. And he said he just needed some space to really see how he feels, or something. God I am dumb. I think it's fairly obvious - it's about him feeling ok with everything by making me his friend. >: [
ShannonMI Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 Hi again Shannon! I feel stupid asking him his intentions...I hate to make it so obvious that I still want to be with him. Although, honestly, as the days go on, the less I feel this to be true. But I have these moments where I just wish we were laying together like we used to. When I slept with him /cringe he just kept telling me he loved me but seemed to reject every idea I had about how we could "fix" it. And he said he just needed some space to really see how he feels, or something. God I am dumb. I think it's fairly obvious - it's about him feeling ok with everything by making me his friend. >: [ Don't feel stupid asking him what his intentions are. It sounds like he wants you as a f*ck buddy. He doesn't want to fix things, but wants to most likely continue to sleep with you. Having no contact does help immensely. I know it's hard when he's calling you and all that, but it might just be better to cut off ties with him until he figures out what he wants. Just sleeping with you and taking you to the movies from time to time isn't exceptable. You deserve better then that.
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