bolase Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 About 3 weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 months because he could only see me rarely, was very inattentive and hardly ever got in contact when we were apart (5-6 days a week). We are both going our separate ways overseas next year, but for now, I think if you don’t let someone know you’re thinking of them at least once a week, you don’t have a relationship, right? We had great EVERYTHING within the relationship and both loved being together, but I wouldn't say i was in love with him yet, though definitely beginning to feel closer and closer. I was unsure whether he felt the same. He is gets very sad (depressed). I was going with the flow, but right before the break up, he got really low and asked me to ignore him for a while, but I hugged him instead, then gave him an ultimatum and he said he wanted to be with me so he would get help and let himself be vulnerable with me, that was a big thing for him. He told me 2 weeks prior to breakup: “I don’t want to scare you, but it would be nice to do more relationship stuff”. I told him “are you kidding?” and was even happier. He told me that he told his mom (overseas) about me, that we were finally together as we’ve been friends for 2 years but always with other people. I am an affectionate girl, and believe the person you’re with should make you feel even better about yourself by expressing how much they like you. I do. He doesn’t very much. After he flaked out on a date but still wanted me to drive up to his house to hang out in the evening, I told him it might be better just being friends. He got angry, said he was trying, then dropped the rather thoughtless quote “well I think we both know we’re not the love of each others’ lives” which cut me deep. But he said he was happy being with me, and I was too…now I have ruined it. I asked him if that meant he just saw me mainly as a sex buddy, and he said he thought we were getting closer and he wanted to bond more on an emotional level, but he guessed we hadn't. But how does that fit with not making time to see someone, as he didn’t? Or saying anything sweet? He asked me if we could talk as he’d said stupid stuff the day after our break-up, but when I went to his house as he was feeling sick, no talk, and he seemed very quiet, he said he wasn’t happy about not being with me. I should just leave it be and find someone more attentive, or what? Since we are both leaving next year should I just give it a second shot or move on? We have cuddled since twice (no sex). Last night he texted something like "I never want to make you unhappy again and shade your light" and then "if you want to talk to me tell me cause I know you like doing that..I don't but if you do I will" AND "you are a goddess..I should always looks at you like you are one" And I just don't. get. it. I had to end it cause I felt unappreciated..the other times he treats me like gold. I really miss him and like him, but if he doesn't see me as te love of his life, and he sees that already...what should I do?
LostInTurn Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 You may think someone is the love of your life. That doesn't mean they need to know the same thing at the same time as you. You need to go with your heart. If you love someone... then you love someone. Bottom line.
BiAxident Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 If he is leaving town in a year anyhow, I would stay away from getting serious. The best thing that could arise from this is probably a good friendship. http://tinychat.com/myrelationship
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