Author smk Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 Hey TM - yeah I know... Starbucks huh - the evil coffee monster... Lol... Thanks for the hug - it's been a rough week, still going on, for some reason no matter how hard I try she is all I can think about. I just miss her, and am a little bit of an emotional train wreck ATM... I just keep wishing I was still with, hell I even contemplated breaking NC and calling her (I won't though), buts it's weird how all of a sudden these thoughts seem to have come back... The dreams keep on getting weirder each night, last night I dreamt I sent her brother an email... It's just strange stuff
DenverBachelor Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 DB I am not sure what has initiated your current thought process but it is good to see you back to an early place before the more recent "just get lad" period. It is always helpful to hear from the thoughtful DB. Thanks! But what's wrong with getting laid?
Author smk Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 Thanks! But what's wrong with getting laid? Nothin wrong whatsoever....
bonpaw2008 Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 SMK - hope you are doing better today, almost a new week Denver - can't wait to read the whole book ....
lullaby Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 You don't need to apologize or say you are sorry. What you are feeling a perfectly normal thing that we have all experienced or will experience at some point. It is a perfectly normal part of life and no reflection on yourself or your ability to make a woman happy. You did your best in that relationship and I know you're a good person with a big heart. Part of having a big heart is having to walk a lot more than the normal man and having to experience a lot more pain than the normal man. You are an intelligent person and you're larger than life, and that's both a gift and a curse. You're intelligent enough to see through a lot of things that most people never understand or see through. But with that gift (and the acceptance of pain from having to walk a lot more roads than most) you have to understand that you'll always be a in a position to learn more and part of learning is the pain of realizing that this is life and not a movie or a book. Listen, you're going through a confusing time and I've been through this wild ride, too. You'll question yourself, the relationship and her part in its demise. You'll have moments where you will feel that it was "destiny" that brought you two together, so how could this be a part of the master plan? The simple truth is that every time we share part of our lives with another, even if they leave us or we leave them, they're always within you and beside you. You're stronger from the loss, wiser from the experience of being together and ultimately you are more of a man than you ever were before the relationship. It really is true that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Day by day, that pain of losing her will slowly be replaced with the strength of knowing that you made her smile, you provided for her at times and that you were a good man. Despite her unwillingness or inability to understand just how amazing you were as a man to her, you can't fault her for leaving -- because ultimately we are all ignorant of many things in life and she many not have been in a place to truly understand or appreciate just how amazing you are. And, in the end, we're all just lost souls subconsciously running from things -- yet, we often never know what we are running from. Part of being human is separating the past from the future, because we're too young in the evolution scale to really understand that all points in time are more connected than we realize. There really is something to be said about a thought in the future affecting the present today. The universe is a wide open play field, and it was designed to let the lowest of souls learn along with the highest of the wise. We're all on a path of our own making, and we experience the things we experience because they were meant to teach us and thrust us forward in spiritual knowledge and evolution. A lot of people won't agree with me, but I've had enough experiences in my own life to realize that, with every loss and every heart break, I've actually become a happier and more pragmatic soul about the universe. I've realized that not every want and desire was really conductive with my own spiritual evolution, but the want and desires did give me what I want. The old expression, "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it" never rang more true. We pursue people in our lives for so many different reasons -- most subconscious. We can't always pinpoint why someone seems so amazing and special to us, but at that point in our lives, it is obviously an experience we want to go through, or else we wouldn't pursue them. You really need to keep your heart and soul open to experiences and realize that, in the end, it was never a goal or destination but more importantly, it was walking the path and learning what love really means. Love goes far beyond just a sexual need or desire. A lot of people never really understand what love really is, because of the physical component of chemicals, desires and hormones. We live in a physical world, yet our soul and heart reside in a level above that. There is a lot of resistance that we experience because, ultimately, we do live in the physical and we're forced to deal with the effects of desires, sexual needs and what not. But when you grow and evolve, you start to see a greater good that transcends those physical needs. You start to realize, "wow, now I know why family is so important. Now I realize why we can make our best friends and our best lovers a part of family. Now I realize why I love this woman so much more than just from a sexual drive." You keep truckin' and exploring and travelling. You have an entire life ahead of you to explore the finer aspects of love. Well after the breakup, you'll realize that you cannot fault them for leaving you, because they were on their own journey with strong physical temptations. But more importantly, when you finally "let go," you will realize that a big part of them (the best part) never really left you. The essence of who they were and the many nuances and quirks that they had were things you adopted into your own spirit -- and that made you a more complete man. So remember, in the end, it was always the moments that made us smile -- the moments that we cried were ultimately great lessons that gave us the strength to smile more brilliantly in the future. This made me cry. Great way to put things DB.
lullaby Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Hey TM - yeah I know... Starbucks huh - the evil coffee monster... Lol... Thanks for the hug - it's been a rough week, still going on, for some reason no matter how hard I try she is all I can think about. I just miss her, and am a little bit of an emotional train wreck ATM... I just keep wishing I was still with, hell I even contemplated breaking NC and calling her (I won't though), buts it's weird how all of a sudden these thoughts seem to have come back... The dreams keep on getting weirder each night, last night I dreamt I sent her brother an email... It's just strange stuff Hi Smk! Oh dear, I wish I could open your head and take her chip out of it so she's finally out and long gone. Let this moment pass by, it's the ****ing rollercoaster we're all in. She'll being to fade away. I hope you're doing better. Hugs 4 u!
DavidWhite Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Sorry to be bring out this cheesey line but it's better to have loved, than to not have loved at all.
blind_otter Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Has anyone heard the new eminem and rihanna song - love the way you lie??? There is a line that Described my relationship with my ex: "maybe that's what happens when a volcano meets a tornado, All I know is that I love you too much too walk away though"... This is so messed up it's not even frigging funny anymore.... It has to be funny. Life is either a comedy or a tragedy, and it's just so much more pleasant to laugh at how absurd we can be to ourselves, than to cry and shake our fists to the heavens and damn ourselves. Or each other. It's just a process. Everyone has a different one to go through, and the most pain comes from resisting or struggling against what is. It is what it is, as many have often said to me. I'm overly intellectual and overly educated, so I seek solace in philosophy; William James often mentions that we process much in preconscious or subconscious parts of our minds. The conscious response is what we experience - passing body aches and pains, strange dreams, panic attacks even. But liberation comes from relaxing into the pain. Don't fight it. Accept it. Once you accept it, the pain becomes like a crying baby that you soothe by holding him close. If life was nice, pleasant, and nothing but happiness and joy, none of us would ever be motivated to change and grow.
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