smk Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Seriously what is the ****ing plot of loving someone??? It's only going to end up one way... Either they break your heart or you break theirs... Eventually some is going to get hurt... Eventually someones life is going to get ****ed... Eventually someone will cry enough tears to fill a dry river bed... And all for what? A four letter word that no one or nothing can explain??? What the **** is love??? I bet my life that each and every 7 billion of us on this planet have a different version of it... Do you know why??? Cos it doesn't ****ing exist... It's all a ****ing illusion??? It's a ****ing chemical imbalance in our systems... It's one of lifes sick twisted games designed to cause more damage than good... Despite all of that I would give up the rest of my life to relive the moments I had with her... I hate the person I am becoming, I hate the person I was before I met her... I felt pure happiness and joy when I was with her, now I have to force myself to feel a false sense of everything... The harder I try to forget her the more I miss her... Hell even I don't ****ing know what I want, or what makes me happy... It's all so ****ed up...
whatadeer26 Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Why do you think she was responsible for your happiness? For every Good there is an Evil. You can't be afraid to let go. My ex was my first love. I can't shake my feeling of, never finding someone as sexy as she or some with such a great personality. But like you said there are Billions of women out there. You have to go find the right one.
DenverBachelor Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Seriously what is the ****ing plot of loving someone??? It's only going to end up one way... Either they break your heart or you break theirs... Well, you can focus on the positives or the negatives in life. There is going to be a lot of hurting and lot of laughing, but we have the choice which we'd rather to take with us and hold on to and remember. As far as your question, the point of loving someone isn't necessarily reaching some endpoint, because there will always be an endpoint. The point is the journey -- in sharing, growing and learning more about yourself and about life in general. What's the point of waking up each day when we all know that we'll be dead someday? At some point you will find that living for the experiences IS the point of life and not getting to some destination. We're all always getting to destinations and then we're left with either being frustrated that the ride is over, or being happy that we experienced the ride. Do you understand?
xx.Kael.xx Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Amen brother. I don't get it either...it really leaves you broken, or well..broken. maybe it does take time, but I'm done being patient.
LostInTurn Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 (edited) I used to think the same thing, and I still do. What's the point, right? Someone always ends up getting hurt. We did. I would love to be the one who left first, I'm probably not the only one on here who would say they would have loved that too. I think it would be a fair assessment to say that we all have a different definition of 'love' based on our own experiences. I would agree. I don't think after 10 months of 'loving' someone I 'love' them anymore, at all. I think 'love' is a concept, and is complete bullsh*t, to be completely honest. I agree with you that 'love' is a game. It's a walk in the woods on a dark night and then, BAM, you fall into a well of sh*t. I would agree. I have been saying I would give a limb to regroup and have a second chance, but honestly, I don't think so anymore. No, not after the week I've had. I don't think I would trade anything. Why? Because someone who leaves us writing this, feeling like we've lost it all... worthless pieces of sh*t. Just my opinion. You don't know what you want or what will make you happy. Well, neither do I. I ask myself that question, everyday. But honestly, isn't that a good thing? Because if we're asking ourselves that it should mean we're that many steps further from where we were and are on the path to recovery, no? Granted we're a mess, but it's true. And yes, it is all ****ed up. I agree, again. Edited August 26, 2010 by LostInTurn
TaraMaiden Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Seriously what is the ****ing plot of loving someone??? It's only going to end up one way... Either they break your heart or you break theirs... Eventually some is going to get hurt... Eventually someones life is going to get ****ed... Eventually someone will cry enough tears to fill a dry river bed... And all for what? A four letter word that no one or nothing can explain??? What the **** is love??? I bet my life that each and every 7 billion of us on this planet have a different version of it... Do you know why??? Cos it doesn't ****ing exist... It's all a ****ing illusion??? It's a ****ing chemical imbalance in our systems... It's one of lifes sick twisted games designed to cause more damage than good... Despite all of that I would give up the rest of my life to relive the moments I had with her... I hate the person I am becoming, I hate the person I was before I met her... I felt pure happiness and joy when I was with her, now I have to force myself to feel a false sense of everything... The harder I try to forget her the more I miss her... Hell even I don't ****ing know what I want, or what makes me happy... It's all so ****ed up... Had a bad day dear? What you need is a walk in the park with mates, an ice cream and sod the calories.....
Nikki Sahagin Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 I have days like that too. Honestly, there really is no point, as there really is not much point to anything (but that's really another discussion...dependent on what you believe). We will have our good and bad days, but honestly I feel these days a lot too, because sometimes there seems very little point. No choice but to go on though!
GrayClouds Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 I felt pure happiness and joy when I was with her, now I have to force myself to feel a false sense of everything... Hell even I don't ****ing know what I want, or what makes me happy... It's all so ****ed up... One of the big reason you felt happiness and joy is the fact you did have to think about what you wanted, what make you happy, the relationship as a great distraction from having to face your life. How can someone love you for who you are when you can not answer that question yourself? It was your drug that kept you high and keeping you from having to face these tough questions. Now your jonesing to get back to that place because this question are hard, and the answers do not come easy, but the longer you avoid they hard they are to answer. Ironically if you can not answer what makes you happy then how can you really know if your EX or any one in the future is right one for you? It is like trying to shop for a new shirt with your eyes closed. Yes you may stumble around and find one that is perfect but the odds are very much against it. Conversely the closer you get to answering the hard questions the closer you get to finding a relationship of share you values, one that naturally compliments you life and grow in a positive direction. Once again it is not about forgetting her, but finding you. Be kind to yourself, kick a pillow and then go for a long run, tomorrow will be a better day. .
Author smk Posted August 26, 2010 Author Posted August 26, 2010 I think I owe everyone one an apology for this post... I have been having a rough last few days and I guess this was my vent... @ everyone - i don't know what or why something set me off today, I have been doing pretty well over the last couple of weeks, but this evening something just went wrong and messed messed me up for a while... Either way I just want to thank all of you guys for the support that you guys have shown and for putting up with my random rants and moments of weakness and supporting me through those.... Moments like the one I had this evening... Thank you guys...
LostInTurn Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Don't apologize! These posts are probably the most important because we're at a low. We're all here for the same reason! Guidance.
GrayClouds Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 I think I owe everyone one an apology for this post... I have been having a rough last few days and I guess this was my vent... @ everyone - i don't know what or why something set me off today, I have been doing pretty well over the last couple of weeks, but this evening something just went wrong and messed messed me up for a while... Either way I just want to thank all of you guys for the support that you guys have shown and for putting up with my random rants and moments of weakness and supporting me through those.... Moments like the one I had this evening... Thank you guys... Letting it out is good, rant at will
Author smk Posted August 26, 2010 Author Posted August 26, 2010 Has anyone heard the new eminem and rihanna song - love the way you lie??? There is a line that Described my relationship with my ex: "maybe that's what happens when a volcano meets a tornado, All I know is that I love you too much too walk away though"... This is so messed up it's not even frigging funny anymore....
LostInTurn Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 Yes, I love that song! I totally identify. There's another song on the new CD as well. I can't remember the name, but it's all about doing everything for the other person. It is a claim to my past relationship.
Author smk Posted August 27, 2010 Author Posted August 27, 2010 @ lost - I don't have the Cd only the 2 song - not afraid and love the way you lie... Let me know the name of the other song if it ain't one of those... I hope thing are looking better for u
LostInTurn Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 The song is '25 to Life' Check You Tube. Listen to the lyrics. I was with a good friend of mine and he put the song on. After a few seconds, I looked at him. He said 'I know, that's why I put it on, so you could listen to it'
Author smk Posted August 27, 2010 Author Posted August 27, 2010 @ lost - I am youtubing as we speak... @taramaiden - Sunday was awesome - we should do it again and this I will have an ice cream and I will forget about the calories...
LostInTurn Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 You should also You Tube: Jimmy Eat World - Cautioners (kinda sad though)
Author smk Posted August 27, 2010 Author Posted August 27, 2010 That was one helluva song... Just got it off iTunes straight onto my phone... I completely agree with your comment about the first 30 seconds... I have to admit his latest album is awesome... So far I have heard 3 songs and all 3 are awesome... And ATM my main song is love the way you lie...
PegNosePete Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 I will have an ice cream and I will forget about the calories... Ha, I'll believe that when I see it I am sooo sick of that Eminen song, they play it 24/7 on every single radio station! Or so it seems. I don't love the way anyone lies. Lying is bad mmmkay?
TaraMaiden Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 Oh I do believe we are all on the same page!!
DenverBachelor Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 I think I owe everyone one an apology for this post... You don't need to apologize or say you are sorry. What you are feeling a perfectly normal thing that we have all experienced or will experience at some point. It is a perfectly normal part of life and no reflection on yourself or your ability to make a woman happy. You did your best in that relationship and I know you're a good person with a big heart. Part of having a big heart is having to walk a lot more than the normal man and having to experience a lot more pain than the normal man. You are an intelligent person and you're larger than life, and that's both a gift and a curse. You're intelligent enough to see through a lot of things that most people never understand or see through. But with that gift (and the acceptance of pain from having to walk a lot more roads than most) you have to understand that you'll always be a in a position to learn more and part of learning is the pain of realizing that this is life and not a movie or a book. Listen, you're going through a confusing time and I've been through this wild ride, too. You'll question yourself, the relationship and her part in its demise. You'll have moments where you will feel that it was "destiny" that brought you two together, so how could this be a part of the master plan? The simple truth is that every time we share part of our lives with another, even if they leave us or we leave them, they're always within you and beside you. You're stronger from the loss, wiser from the experience of being together and ultimately you are more of a man than you ever were before the relationship. It really is true that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Day by day, that pain of losing her will slowly be replaced with the strength of knowing that you made her smile, you provided for her at times and that you were a good man. Despite her unwillingness or inability to understand just how amazing you were as a man to her, you can't fault her for leaving -- because ultimately we are all ignorant of many things in life and she many not have been in a place to truly understand or appreciate just how amazing you are. And, in the end, we're all just lost souls subconsciously running from things -- yet, we often never know what we are running from. Part of being human is separating the past from the future, because we're too young in the evolution scale to really understand that all points in time are more connected than we realize. There really is something to be said about a thought in the future affecting the present today. The universe is a wide open play field, and it was designed to let the lowest of souls learn along with the highest of the wise. We're all on a path of our own making, and we experience the things we experience because they were meant to teach us and thrust us forward in spiritual knowledge and evolution. A lot of people won't agree with me, but I've had enough experiences in my own life to realize that, with every loss and every heart break, I've actually become a happier and more pragmatic soul about the universe. I've realized that not every want and desire was really conductive with my own spiritual evolution, but the want and desires did give me what I want. The old expression, "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it" never rang more true. We pursue people in our lives for so many different reasons -- most subconscious. We can't always pinpoint why someone seems so amazing and special to us, but at that point in our lives, it is obviously an experience we want to go through, or else we wouldn't pursue them. You really need to keep your heart and soul open to experiences and realize that, in the end, it was never a goal or destination but more importantly, it was walking the path and learning what love really means. Love goes far beyond just a sexual need or desire. A lot of people never really understand what love really is, because of the physical component of chemicals, desires and hormones. We live in a physical world, yet our soul and heart reside in a level above that. There is a lot of resistance that we experience because, ultimately, we do live in the physical and we're forced to deal with the effects of desires, sexual needs and what not. But when you grow and evolve, you start to see a greater good that transcends those physical needs. You start to realize, "wow, now I know why family is so important. Now I realize why we can make our best friends and our best lovers a part of family. Now I realize why I love this woman so much more than just from a sexual drive." You keep truckin' and exploring and travelling. You have an entire life ahead of you to explore the finer aspects of love. Well after the breakup, you'll realize that you cannot fault them for leaving you, because they were on their own journey with strong physical temptations. But more importantly, when you finally "let go," you will realize that a big part of them (the best part) never really left you. The essence of who they were and the many nuances and quirks that they had were things you adopted into your own spirit -- and that made you a more complete man. So remember, in the end, it was always the moments that made us smile -- the moments that we cried were ultimately great lessons that gave us the strength to smile more brilliantly in the future.
GrayClouds Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 DB I am not sure what has initiated your current thought process but it is good to see you back to an early place before the more recent "just get lad" period. It is always helpful to hear from the thoughtful DB.
GrayClouds Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Didn't you get the impression that DB was more into chicks, GC? x :o evil typos strike again
Author smk Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 DB - that Is one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I have read. Just reading that made me feel better. Again thank you everyone for the support, this week has truly been a rollercoaster, more on the downer than up.
TaraMaiden Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Group hug, smk. All we need is cookie2, and all's right with the world.... Incidentally, we found a great coffee place... Abu-el hazuz-dim-nadim alahari coffee house. (otherwise known as starbucks.....!! )
Recommended Posts