Apex101 Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Hi Guys, I'll quickly go through my story here....were together 11 months and i thought the world of the girl, even with her flaws, first few months were amazing, she was everything i wanted and made me feel wanted and special as i had always done with her as far as i knew. Then 7 months in she started to change slowly, i noticed it at the time but put it down to exam stress she had with school and thats what she said it was whenever i asked. we had sex less and less, not down to me but her not being interested. and she just seemed less and less interested, never wanted to go out with me but would jump at the opportunity to go out with her girl friends even after shes worked all night in a restraunt and she was 'shattered' as she used to tell me! she started being quite weird saying things like she wasnt sure she wanted marriage in her life and all she wants to do is have a career and go college after school, this made me feel low but she always said she wanted me there in her future. we only ever stayed in watching what she wanted at her parents house because i was nice enough and a mug enough to always go to hers as it was easier for her to study and not have to travel, even if it was only 10mins away! it always what she wants but i didnt wanna stress her more during her exams etc. we then go on holiday and by this time i can tell something is up, sex is only once a week and she remained 'weird' is all i can describe it but looking back she prob didnt even wanna be there! then on the 2nd day she tells me she doesnt enjoy sex with me anymore and she i always horny but there is no ponit doing it as she doesnt enjoy it! imaginer how this makes me feel! like complete crap! and the worstt hing is she wouldnt even discuss it. So fast forward to home a week later, she still being 'weird' and distant i suppose, demanding so much from me but never giving and me being in love just did it all.....what an idiot!! then one eve after she finished work she tells me she going out with mates and i was tired and in bed so i said good night and went to sleep, usually she txts when she gets in but i hear nothing untill the next day in the afternoon where she blames me for not txting her!!!!! i was asleep untill abiout midday!!! anyway then she comes out with the 'im not happy with us' and 'i need to think about wehat i want' and 'i wanna go to college in a yr and dnt wanna hurt you later on'....all via txt.... so i go round to see her and she cries and tells me she didnt mea it and needs me and we'll work through it...i was more than happy to do so. The for the next week again she makes excuses not to see me, doesnt txt much, shes tired....etc. i was going away for a week with work on the saturday morning so we thought it woould give her some time to think etc. so i say goodnight on the fri night on the phone....she didnt come round even though she finished work earlier at bout 9pm but was 'too tired'. then she txts me at about 12 midnight saying things arnt gonna work and it wont be the same.....8hrs before im going away for a week and via txt again...so i ring her and she dumps me saying she not wanting to hurt me in the future. i was in tears and gutted so i leave her to it. delete her from facebook etc and nxt morning go away. she txts me the nxt day saying why did i delete her she wanted to be friends etc. i dont reply for few days then say it was to help me but i will be friends eventually. then she starts txting me saying she cant stop thinking she 'might' have made a mistake and she misses me loads! wtf!! shes killing me here im a complete mess at work all week. so i agree to meet up with her when i get back. we meet and me thinking she gonna say she made a mistake and wants me back was all wrong! she still the same undecided person! i go away with my head all over the place....what does she want! i doubted she even knew so what the hell can i do! she asks me to meet her 2 days later to go movies but on the day of it she txts saying she shattered so can she let me know later, i say dont come if u dnt want to but she says she'll let me know later, soo i hear nothing all afternoon and 8pm arrives and she then txts saying she fell asleep and nxt week would be better as she working all weekend! i ignore and my head is gone at this point, she just taking the piss outta me now! so a week passes and she txts saying sorry she not been in contact but she had **** on at work and her little brothers been ill etc, i ignore, then the next eve she txts twice asking if i got here msg and then saying that she needed someone to talk to and i didnt reply so im obviously not there for her anymore so that says everything!! wahta a idiot she dumped me and strung me alaong for so long knowing id do anything for her! so she gets moody and says we should go our own ways, i agree and 5 weeks later there has been NC. But this weekend im going out and as we live in a smallish town im expecting her to be there too, i just dont know how im gonna react. part of me wants to ignore her for treating me that way and trying to turn it around si im the bad guy, but im also wanting to try and make it look like im strong and doing well and not bitter, even if i am as the past few weeks have been tough for me. waht are your thoughts people? any comments are welcome!
onthebrinkofitall Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Reading this made my head hurt. Be done with her.
TaraMaiden Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 waht are your thoughts people? any comments are welcome! Do you see yourself marrying her? having a family with her? Buying a house, having a mortgage and raising three kids and a golden Labrador with her? Do you see yourself getting old with her, and holding hands in your respective rocking chairs? No? Ok, that's good. Dump her now, and find another squeeze. You've got time yet. Not being flippant hun, but honest, you have.
LostInTurn Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 If she's been changing for awhile, then I would say you probably should not involved yourself with her. It's not like there were some problems which were discussed and fixed. If she's been doing whatever she wants, whenever without regard for you, she's not worth it. She asked for a second chance, and you were nice enough to give her one. She messed that up. There are no more chances. Some people aren't lucky enough to even get a second chance. Damn girl should see how lucky she was. People would kill for a second chance. Anyway... as for that 'missing you' talk. Yea, sounds great. Heard that before. They need to say a he*ll of a lot more before we, as the ones who were left, will agree to negotiations and terms of revisiting the past relationship. I would not go anywhere where you may run int her. That's just asking for a disaster. Stay away from her. She does not sound like a good person.
Author Apex101 Posted August 26, 2010 Author Posted August 26, 2010 Tara - no i do not see myself with her in the future anymore although i did previously but i am now coming to terms with it slowly, howerever hard it has been. it just sounds so easy to say these things no its all over, i was so positive with things when we were together but suppose now i can see the bigger picture without being clouded by the love i had for her... Lost - Youre correct she did not give us a chance to correct any problems..hell i didnt even know we were having the problems i could just tell summin was up due to her change but put it down to exam stress, maybe im too nice!? i dunno...i woukld have given her another chance defo, she made me believe i was but maybe she didnt even want one and was just feeding her ego a bit when she realised i wasnt there anymore. i think what angers me the most is how she took so much and never gave and then tried to make me out to be the bad guy....maybe thats just how she needed to deal with the siuation to feel better about her decision as i never did anything to hurt her or make her angry so that she could justify her decision. with regards to going out this weekend, i really wanna go out and sometimes i do feel ready, ive been out before but been lucky that she hasnt been there....but its bank holiday so more chance she will be out. i go through stages of feeling i'll be fine if i did see her but dont wanna take a step back if something did go wrong... ive always felt shes a bit o0f a loose cannon so im not sure how shed react, i dont really think i wanna talk to her but dont wanna start an awkward situation, maybe i'll just be polite and stay away from her... thanks for the thoughts guys
LostInTurn Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 i think what angers me the most is how she took so much and never gave and then tried to make me out to be the bad guy....maybe thats just how she needed to deal with the siuation to feel better about her decision as i never did anything to hurt her or make her angry so that she could justify her decision. thanks for the thoughts guys Story of my life! I'm never 'giving' again. No more. Too late. Done. The blame game. I can't stand the blame game. You're probably not to blame. Don't own this! And yes, you probably are 'too nice'. Work on that.
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